Overcoming the Dark Night of the Soul

[Rare Bird]

I will give you the treasures of darkness

And hidden wealth of secret places,

So that you may know that it is I,

The Lord, the God of Israel, who calls you by your name.

~Isaiah 45:3

Who is among you that fears the Lord,

That obeys the voice of His servant,

That walks in darkness and has no light?

Let him trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God.

~Isaiah 51:10

I understand that those who are called will suffer the "Night Season".

I rejoice that God has brought me to this place for closer intimacy with Him.

I have grown tremendously during this trial/wilderness and continue to praise His sovereignty over my life and everything in it.

HOWEVER, it's been a looooooooong process and time, and after a year, I am beginning to find myself swinging from one extreme of hope and faith, to depths of despondency, complaining and overwhelmed that I am a failure because I have those bad times and don't know how to get out.

Like today, when I felt very "soulish", and overwhelmed with fear and sadness (i.e., Job 7 pretty much nails it).

In this though, I have not cursed God, and I know I am supposed to repent of those things that not of the spirit--but it is getting more an more difficult as this period of darkness continues. Then, I kick myself for not handling things better because I "should know better," and be stronger in overcoming my desire to wallow in fleshly, ungodly thoughts. But I feel like I can't anymore. I have prayed for Him to forgive me and carry me, yet while I pray, have a nagging feeling like this time will never end and I'll just keep "blowing it" which only will cause this trial to continue even longer.

Any encouragement and words of wisdom--those who can speak from experience--would be VERY welcome right now.

1) How do you deny yourself when things are just getting so long and nothing changes, but only seems to get worse?

2) What do I do when I give into thoughts that are contrary to the truth?

3) How do I endure--strengthening the hands that hang down and the feeble knees--when things feel so "thick" and dark?

4) Will God forgive me when I feel like I've blown it too badly and feel like I just "can't" anymore?

[Guest]

Lean On

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:4-6

Him

Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:

And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalms 139:23-24

~

Be Blessed Beloved Daughter Of The KING

The LORD bless thee, and keep thee:

The LORD make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee:

The LORD lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.

And they shall put my name upon the children of Israel; and I will bless them. Numbers 6:24-27

Be Very Blessed

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever. Psalms 23

Love, Your Brother Joe

[OneLight]

I have been very depressed in years past. It was like walking through a desert with no water in sight, each step being harder then the last. Like you, I was up and down ... having Bi-Polar. I found this verse to act like a compass which led me to the water I needed so much.

Philippians 4:8

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

What I had to do is get out of my own head and into His word more, seeking His fruit in my life.

Always remember ... Hebrews 13:5

Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

[Rare Bird]

Thank you, OneLight. The Word, and only the Word, is what is sustaining me now. As you know, even though we have head knowledge of the reasons for testing and trials, it's the heart that can still ache during the refining process.

I prayed last night, asking for forgiveness of the sins and fearful thoughts I was having, and am dwelling on the verses you cited. They ARE what I need to focus on--whatever is true, lovely . . . and not to compare the situations and life of others to where I'm at right now--which seems most difficult at this present time.

My trial has been ongoing for more than a year now--suffering job loss, rejection after rejection and having to live in a contentious household where the only person around me is not emotionally mature enough nor capable of providing emotional and spiritual support, but instead, tears me down at every opportunity. Then I look at others--how their lives SEEM so much better than mine--and it fills me with sadness. Not that I'm jealous of them, but that I am the one who continues to struggle without. So the coveting thing has been a struggle and I know God has brought this into my life to make me rely on Him for EV-ER-Y THING, so that my faith can mature.

1Pe 4:1-2 Therefore, since the Messiah suffered in a mortal body, you, too, must arm yourselves with the same determination, because the person who has suffered in a mortal body has stopped sinning, (2) so that he can live the rest of his mortal life guided, not by human desires, but by the will of God.

After seeking Him and mediating on the responses I've seen so far, I realize now that I need to "pull up my big girl spiritual panties and deal with it," knowing and relying on HIM to see me through. . . Casting all my cares upon Him because He cares for me. And if you knew my independent nature, this is one chink in the armor that I must take to the repair shop! I do praise Him for using you to help me realize this, and that He is calling me to a deeper trust and faith and relationship with Him. So this is what I will rejoice in. ;-)

2Co 1:8-10 For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, about the suffering we experienced in Asia. We were so crushed beyond our ability to endure that we even despaired of living. (9) In fact, we felt that we had received a death sentence so we would not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. (10) He has rescued us from a terrible death, and he will continue to rescue us. Yes, he is the one on whom we have set our hope, and he will rescue us again . . .

I appreciate the feedback so far, and would just appreciate any more verses or experiences that can lend support, and of course, prayers for wisdom and endurance, and that the Holy Spirit empowers me to overcome this.

In His Grip,

RB

[Rare Bird]

. . . also adding another scripture that Danl shared last night on chat; one that helped lift me:

The LORD your God among you is powerful—He will save and He will take joyful delight in you.

In his love He will renew you with his love; he will celebrate with singing because of you.

~Zephaniah 3:17

[gdemoss]

1) How do you deny yourself when things are just getting so long and nothing changes, but only seems to get worse?

The practice of self-denial is a continual effort and understanding that must be refined over time. It is interesting to me to hear one wonder these things, cause I know I have been there and had no idea what to do. You simply suffer from blindness, but blindness is curable with God. There is a remedy prescribed that works every time without fail. I really can't give you much without understanding exactly 'where' your at in your walk with him. Your only problems in 'this' life are those things and expectations that you hold onto. I once expected that I would have a loving wife who I would share in this life with as two Christians walking the path together in godly love. That may still happen, though there is no manifestation of it at the moment as my wife currently hates me because I love the Lord and give myself wholly unto him, but I have let go of the expectation of it manifesting itself. I am currently happy/content/joyful though my marriage is suffering from my wife's lack of desire to be genuinely close to the Lord. With God all things are possible. I just remember to trust in him with all my heart and don't rely on my own understanding. I acknowledge him in all my ways and he directs my paths. I simply seek to understand how I can love her better today than yesterday. I return good for evil etc. Meanwhile there is a lot of work that the Lord has cut out for me to do like coming here to encourage a sister to walk it out.

2) What do I do when I give into thoughts that are contrary to the truth?

Repent, then continue working out your salvation with fear and trembling before the Lord. Even Jesus cried out to the one who was able to save him from death with strong crying and tears. Pray for help in bringing all thoughts into subjection unto Christ. Pray for strength to continue the fight of faith. Thank our Father that you have an advocate with him who wants to see you sanctified in his truth. Don't cut yourself too much slack that might cause you to make light of what you have given into but don't condemn yourself either. We trust the Lord judges us and administers any chastening we need, we need not put the whip to our own back as if we are doing him some favor. How shall we know how many lashes we ought to get? Trust in him to be just and you just continue on carrying that cross (pick it back up if you happen to have dropped it).

3) How do I endure--strengthening the hands that hang down and the feeble knees--when things feel so "thick" and dark?

Cleanse hands sinners, purify hearts double minded. Strength to endure trials comes from God. When we are weak we are stong, because we turn to God. When I was in the depth of depression (if that is what you call it) I could not 'feel' God's presence in my life any longer as there was nothing but darkness all around me, darkness I could feel. My response to it was crying out with a loud voice daily until I was heard on high and delivered from those chains. I remember clearly how horrible it was to be there.

4) Will God forgive me when I feel like I've blown it too badly and feel like I just "can't" anymore

God will forgive you as long as you forgive others. He will have mercy upon those who have shown mercy. He will give grace to those who show grace. We reap what we sew.

Think about this for a moment if your having difficult times with difficult people. Jesus came to earth and had no friends. Everybody just wanted something from him. They were interested in what they could give to him. The whole world was looking for someone to save them from something. Jesus lived to serve instead of being served. He ended up being served much by many though. Jesus lived to be a friend to sinners. He ended up with many who wanted to be his friend (Peter even wanted to give his life for the Lord while he was here but was prevented). Jesus teaches us 'how' to live but he must first cure us of our blindness and poor hearing.

If I may be of any assistance to you in your time of need, please ask in PM.

Your brother Gary