What do you think about breastfeeding? Cover or no cover?

[GoldenEagle]

I think whether it was 20 years ago or 10 months ago... usually, a mom can plan around outings or work... breast pumps, etc.  I am glad you are not offended by women breastfeeding babies.  I'm not offended either.  I try not to deliberately make other people feel uncomfortable and that said, I never had an issue going to a private area when necessary out in public or when out visiting to nurse the kids.  Sorry for any confusion or distress - I haven't been on the forum for a long, long time.  I forgot how controversial everything becomes here.  Have a blessed day.

 

For clarification I'm not trying to point fingers or anything.

 

When we had our first child my wife wasn't treated properly I thought by those around her. Breastfeeding especially amongst more conservative people or older generations is seen as an inconvenience. Perhaps because in the 1950's to the 1980's there was such a big push for the whole bottle/formula thing?

 

In any case at least in part due to her not feeling comfortable with breastfeeding, our son being super squirmy, etc. she stopped nursing him around 8 months old. She would've liked to go longer but the baby was too squirmy and people IMO were too insensitive to her as a nursing mother. We're pregnant with our second child now and I'm going to encourage her to put the needs of our child before the discomfort in particular of total strangers. Perhaps this sheds some light on my frustration?

 

Sorry if I hurt your feelings it wasn't my intention sister.

Please forgive me?

God bless,

GE

[GoldenEagle]

 

 

COVER UP!

Why? Do you find breastfeeding to be a sexual or functional act?

it is a natural act that can cause many to stumble

why make it harder than it has to be for people not to see what tempts them?

if you love your brothers and their relationship with God, cover

My husband asked me to cover. Even though its natural, he still doesnt want other men to see my chest.

 

 

Personally I have an issue with this mentality. It seems to me that the breast has been over-sensualized. It seems to me that people and particularly males are unaware what the primary purpose of the breast is to be. I find it very strange that a nursing mother would tempt a fellow brother in Christ. As I understand it the baby has to have ¼ of the breast in the mouth for the process to work properly. Thus why it’s called breastfeeding and not nipple feeding.

 

What discussion you and your husband have is good. It's good to be on the same page. And if he asked you to cover then that's one thing. I just don't see why a majority of people (particularly fellow Christians?) feel that way about breastfeeding.

 

Perhaps I'm making a bigger deal than I should about this. It just really frustrates me how something beautiful such as breastfeeding is made out into something that should be avoided in public, something somehow that is sensual, must covered or it's considered immodest, and there is very little sympathy for nursing mothers (lack of sleep, exhaustion, running around after other kids, completely new experience for fist time moms, etc).

 

God bless,

GE

[GoldenEagle]

 

 

 

This week was breastfeeding week. Feel free to discuss one or more of these questions...

A. What do you think about breastfeeding? Cover or no cover?

B. What are the social norms in the culture/country you live in?

 

C. Do you know the laws in your country/state regarding breastfeeding?

 

 

 

A. What do you think about breastfeeding? Cover or no cover?  It does not bother me either way. I see nothing dirty or shameful about a women's breast.

 

B. What are the social norms in the culture/country you live in? I don't really know.

 

C. Do you know the laws in your country/state regarding breastfeeding? Do we really need laws for breastfeeding? I don't think so.

 

 

A. I agree it doesn't bother me either way. I view a nursing mother's breast when she's breastfeeding in a non-sexual manner. Nursing to me should be viewed as a functional and not a sensual act.

B. Do you live in the U.S.? If so please check out this link... http://www.ncsl.org/issues-research/health/breastfeeding-state-laws.aspx

C. I believe there needs to be laws for breastfeeding because otherwise people are free to discriminate against women.

 

God bless,

GE

 

 

 

I'm all for not discriminating against women but, come on, a woman has to consider other people too.  Not everyone is comfortable with this and THEIR rights have to be respected as well.  IMO, if a mother refuses to cover in a crowd, she is trying to make a statement or she craves attention.  A little common sense goes a long way. 

 

1. Need vs Want?

Women should indeed consider other people. However, when it comes to a baby's NEED verses another persons WANT not to feel uncomfortable I think the the NEED trumps the WANT.

2. Regarding rights...

At least in the U.S. it's legal to breastfeed in all 50 states of the Union. Forty-five states, the District of Columbia, and the Virgin Islands have laws that specifically allow women to breastfeed in any public or private location. Twenty-eight states, the District of Columbia and the Virgin Islands exempt breastfeeding from public indecency laws.

3. Intent

This is where intent comes into play. As I said before if a woman is trying to draw attention to herself in a sexual way then I agree that's not modest. But seriously, how many women go around trying to flaunt their stuff when breastfeeding?

A friend I was talking to who disagree with me said that this whole idea of a mother flaunting herself occurs maybe in 1 out of 1000 (that's .1% or one-tenth of a percent) breastfeeding mothers. So I asked him why should the other 999 women not be able to breastfeed their babies in a modest fashion because of the very small minority that go overboard?

Never got a response from him.

 

4. Considerations...

But let’s consider something for a moment… What is the intention of a nursing mother?

 

What if she happens to be caught in public with a hungry child and she's wearing something inconvenient for feeding and doesn't have a cover?

 

Or the intent of a nursing mother using the cover whose baby yanks the cover off and tosses it on the floor?

 

Or the intent of a nursing mother who is well covered by clothing, but then her baby suddenly lets go and swings his/her head away to look around therefore flashing the room?

 

The mother's heart and intention is still the same in all those instances – to nurture and care for her baby. It has not changed.

 

5. Babies

Consider too that not all babies take to nursing with a cover.

 

Consider too that many women don’t use covers or dislike using covers for practical reasons having to do with their children – the babies. Baby’s when using covers often get hot and squirmy. The baby often cannot see with a cover to latch on to begin the breastfeeding process. The baby also might want to see their mother or what is going on around them. Finally, breathing in tight spaces isn’t comfortable for anyone much less babies.

 

Your thoughts?

 

God bless,

GE

[ayin jade]

I have been avoiding this thread because Im older and feeling like my views are not welcome much by younger folks. 

 

I think a woman should cover up. While it may be beautiful, it is still immodest. Im not saying go feed the kid in a bathroom, but there are covers that can be used. On a medical side too, body fluids are considered hazardous and treated as such. Breast milk is considered body fluids and hazardous. Not "not permitted on airplanes" hazardous lol. Folks should not have to be exposed to breast feeding in public. Its not what I want to see. 

[nebula]

 

I saw a commercial I thought amusing.

 

First scene: You see a mother at a restaurant breastfeeding her baby, blanket covering the baby and her shoulder, having a little difficulty keeping things together and looking uncomfortable.

Caption: First Kid.

 

Next scene: Same thing, but this time the woman has no blanket, the top of her shirt is down, her baby is hanging on the nipple clearly visible, and she isn't even giving it a second thought.

Caption: Second Kid.

Lol Neb. So you're saying with more than one kid women have other things to worry about then other people's discomfort?

God bless,

GE

 

I've never been a mother, but I've watched my SIL nursing her babies around the clock. As her first child got older, she became more lax with covering. She did cover her breast with her shirt best she could, but she had given up the blanket cover all together.

 

The commercial is up on YouTube. Type "Luvs First Kid Second Kid" and you can find it - and read the comments posted in response to get a feel for what the mothers actually say.

[nebula]

As for my opinion on breastfeeding in public, after watching my SIL I can appreciate how difficult it is to be modest about it, whether finding a hiding place or covering with a blanket or other cover (especially when her baby kept grabbing the blanket and pulling it away!).

 

When I see a woman breastfeeding in public not completely covered, I simply turn my eyes/head away.

 

If a man becomes lustful after a breastfeeding woman - he's got a problem.

[Guest man]

 

 

 

COVER UP!

Why? Do you find breastfeeding to be a sexual or functional act?

it is a natural act that can cause many to stumble

why make it harder than it has to be for people not to see what tempts them?

if you love your brothers and their relationship with God, cover

My husband asked me to cover. Even though its natural, he still doesnt want other men to see my chest.

 

 

Personally I have an issue with this mentality. It seems to me that the breast has been over-sensualized. It seems to me that people and particularly males are unaware what the primary purpose of the breast is to be. I find it very strange that a nursing mother would tempt a fellow brother in Christ. 

 

 

Have you ever heard of porn?   

[Guest man]

If a man becomes lustful after a breastfeeding woman - he's got a problem.

 

 

Depending on the degree of lust, he might not be the only one with a problem.

[GoldenEagle]

I have been avoiding this thread because Im older and feeling like my views are not welcome much by younger folks. 

 

I think a woman should cover up. While it may be beautiful, it is still immodest. Im not saying go feed the kid in a bathroom, but there are covers that can be used.

 

The purpose of this thread is to create a dialogue, help both sides see their respective positions, discuss the issues, and understand the laws that apply to our country/state of residence.

 

Some thoughts on Modesty...

 

I believe modesty is not about covering or not covering certain parts. It is important to note that all those kinds of tangible "rules" (modesty) change from culture to culture and over time. I believe modesty is ultimately about the heart attitude, motivation, or intent of a person.

 

There are a variety of views on breastfeeding based on individual's upbringing, culture, experience, generation (age), etc.

 

Why is a person dressing, acting, or talking a certain way? If it were to draw attention, particularly sexual attention, then I’d agree that's not modest behavior.

But isn't the discussion on modesty more about the heart intent and less about the specifics about what is considered modest?

Some thoughts on Breastfeeding

 

I'm going to respectfully disagree here AJ. Breastfeeding IMO is not about beauty - it's about the baby.

 

A friend put it this way...

 

 

 

I don't understand why people see breastfeeding mothers as sex objects. It's not that I don't care about my brothers in Christ, because I do. I just care about my baby more. And I don't believe men are so helpless.

 

Just as I would never put the responsibility of me feeding or not feeding my baby the biological way (AKA: as God designed) upon my brothers, so I will not take the responsibility for them seeing me and other women as human beings rather than sex objects on my shoulders.

I believe sometimes covering the natural, non-sexual function of the female breasts contributes to the dehumanization of women. Instead of valuing a woman's person hood and feeding her baby as an acceptable act, forcing a woman to cover or hide while feeding her baby values her sexual appeal over the person hood of both her child and herself.

A man's sexual desire (or the possible sexual desire) then trumps a baby feeding and both the man and woman being devalued as people, become nothing more than sex objects and victims of their own desires. Because I care about my brothers, sisters, and my children, I'm not going to participate in the dehumanization of either sex. Men aren't dogs and they can be responsible for their own thoughts and actions.

Thoughts?

 

God bless,

GE

 

[ayin jade]

If its about the baby then it would be ok for a woman to change a babies poopy diaper on a restaurant table. 

 

Which it isnt. 

 

I find it appalling to see breastfeeding in public. It isnt acceptable to me. So perhaps others should understand that it does offend some folks and attempt to consider their feelings on this instead of insisting everyone welcome their bare breasts in public.