No Good Deed

[LadyKay]

Have you every tried to help someone only to get burned by them? This has happen to me and my husband. We have had to take out an Order Of Protection against a person that we tried to help because he is now making threats against us.  We gave him food, a place to stay and even bought him some new clothes when no one else would have anything to do with him. Now he is calling on the phone yelling obscenities at us making threats. I ask myself how can a person be this way after what we did for them?

[BFP]

Is this person on drugs?  I know my oldest son is like this...he will use people for whatever he can and as soon as things dont go his way he will cause ALOT of trouble for them.  He gets people to feel sorry for him then gets very distructive in thier lives.  He is a good con.  Just go on with your life and ignore that person completely...they thrive on creating drama, and will keep it going for as long as they are getting a reaction from you.  So sorry that you have had this experience.

He will go away in time if you don't give him the attention he is seeking.  Seems they are only happy when making someone else miserable

[Guest]

Praying~!

[LadyKay]

Is this person on drugs?  I know my oldest son is like this...he will use people for whatever he can and as soon as things dont go his way he will cause ALOT of trouble for them.  He gets people to feel sorry for him then gets very distructive in thier lives.  He is a good con.  Just go on with your life and ignore that person completely...they thrive on creating drama, and will keep it going for as long as they are getting a reaction from you.  So sorry that you have had this experience.

He will go away in time if you don't give him the attention he is seeking.  Seems they are only happy when making someone else miserable

I don't know people ask me that all the time when I tell them what this person has done. I think he is just a jerk who sees people as nothing more then a tool to be used. I took him to church with me a few times I had hope to make a difference. I never could it seems.

[BFP]

Is this person on drugs?  I know my oldest son is like this...he will use people for whatever he can and as soon as things dont go his way he will cause ALOT of trouble for them.  He gets people to feel sorry for him then gets very distructive in thier lives.  He is a good con.  Just go on with your life and ignore that person completely...they thrive on creating drama, and will keep it going for as long as they are getting a reaction from you.  So sorry that you have had this experience.

He will go away in time if you don't give him the attention he is seeking.  Seems they are only happy when making someone else miserable

I don't know people ask me that all the time when I tell them what this person has done. I think he is just a jerk who sees people as nothing more then a tool to be used. I took him to church with me a few times I had hope to make a difference. I never could it seems.

Well don't take it personally, it is his problem, not yours...and don't bother even trying to conversation with him or change him. He has to do that himself...and one day in the future he may come back with a repentant heart. But until then he will only cause drama.

[LadyKay]

I am done with him. I no longer want him in my life. I hope that he can get his life worked out and find the right path to follow. But I am done.

[sourberry]

Have you every tried to help someone only to get burned by them? This has happen to me and my husband. We have had to take out an Order Of Protection against a person that we tried to help because he is now making threats against us.  We gave him food, a place to stay and even bought him some new clothes when no one else would have anything to do with him. Now he is calling on the phone yelling obscenities at us making threats. I ask myself how can a person be this way after what we did for them?

 

I think, you may want to learn how to love this person.

[Guest]

I am done with him. I no longer want him in my life. I hope that he can get his life worked out and find the right path to follow. But I am done.

 

Sometimes we have to cut all ties until someone is ready to make a change in their lives. I've actually been on both sides of this . . . I'm a drug addict that Jesus cleaned up and I had issues like you describe with a family member before that started.

 

Sometimes we have to love folks, especially a family member on drugs, from a distance (as an example.) There are times when cutting off all ties is the only thing that will eventually get them to a place where God can get their attention. I know a few folks like this: they didn't "hit bottom" until there was nowhere else to go. The Lord will use that to get their attention. Some just need a tap on shoulder. God needed to throw a brick or two in my case . . . I was a bit slow on the uptake.

 

The family member I had issues with has never made what the did right -- and it was a lot of struggle to forgive them by God's grace. I needed a lot of help to do that. That doesn't mean that I will allow their behavior or their drama in my life again. Ever. Not until I see evidence of a changed heart, which hasn't happened yet, and this has been going on with this person for a little over 20 years now. The only thing I can do is pray for them, and move on with life.

[LadyKay]

 

I think, you may want to learn how to love this person.

To be truly honest, right now I am not sure I can. Though I do not wish him any ill will I can not say that as of now I love him. This may be something I have to work through. He hurt me once before when he  took my bank card and I  only found out that he did so after I got my bank statement and found money missing. It took me a very very long time to work through that with God. As I knew in my heart I needed to forgive him. But it took a very long time. I mean we are talking years here. But this goes beyond just stealing from me. He threated my family. He said he was going to come here and take us out! And that crosses a line in my book. So while I do not wish him any ill will and still hope that he someday gets is life in order, I am not sure I can love him right now. Perhaps admitting that is the first step in healing.

[LadyKay]

 

I am done with him. I no longer want him in my life. I hope that he can get his life worked out and find the right path to follow. But I am done.

 

Sometimes we have to cut all ties until someone is ready to make a change in their lives. I've actually been on both sides of this . . . I'm a drug addict that Jesus cleaned up and I had issues like you describe with a family member before that started.

 

Sometimes we have to love folks, especially a family member on drugs, from a distance (as an example.) There are times when cutting off all ties is the only thing that will eventually get them to a place where God can get their attention. I know a few folks like this: they didn't "hit bottom" until there was nowhere else to go. The Lord will use that to get their attention. Some just need a tap on shoulder. God needed to throw a brick or two in my case . . . I was a bit slow on the uptake.

 

The family member I had issues with has never made what the did right -- and it was a lot of struggle to forgive them by God's grace. I needed a lot of help to do that. That doesn't mean that I will allow their behavior or their drama in my life again. Ever. Not until I see evidence of a changed heart, which hasn't happened yet, and this has been going on with this person for a little over 20 years now. The only thing I can do is pray for them, and move on with life.

 

I do understand what you are saying and admire your honesty. But I do not think that the reason for his behavior is because of drugs. This person is a user of people. He charms his way into people's lives and uses them until they get wise to him and kick him out. He has hit rock bottom. Which was why he was here. He called crying on the phone that he was being kicked out of a place and had no place to go. I think I could understand it better if he was on drugs. Because I know that it is not him talking but the addition talking. But this is not that. This is a person in my mind who is nearly a psychopath. And I do not mean that in a cruel way but feel it is the truth. There is something very wrong with this person.