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teen dress/modesty/thoughts?


katyolemiss

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Hi Y'all

Sorry but this is another question that has a little to do with my Aunt (like my mom) and dress.

 

At school we have a conservative  uniform. skirt or slacks/pants, long sleeve oxford buttondown, and either crewneck or vneck sweater. This is the "winter uniform". As u guessed, I'm at a pvt school. The uniform rules also make us button the collar and sleeves like always! We have a little leeway. My quetion is, do you think its to startict  I know its modest. My Aunt (mom) thinks that it's great.

She even wants menow to wear button downs alot with collar buttoned even ouut of school, like when under a sweater. Is this somewhere where I would be right in disagreeing with her. I mean I am 16! She says that it's more christian and modest and looks better and neater. What do y'all think?

 

I think its sort of in style but not sure. Someone said it was in the 80's, even some girls putting pins ot bows at the top button? I have no idea but thought some of you may?

 

The school came up with the rule because lasy year some girls were sort of going to low (Not that bad tho!) Do you think my aunt has a right to tell me to dress like this sometimes?

 

And on a lighter note, do y'all think it looks better or neater? Mostly better? Of course I'm just talking about the cold months.

Sorry to bug everyone if I am.

Katy

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Goes back to respect for your elders. see other conversation.

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Your description sounds tame enough to me.  And being a male, I would choose pants/slacks any day over a skirt, in he winter.  I would assume that your Aunt dresses in a modest mode herself, that is why she suggests the same for you.

 

My lighter note opinion is....... look at it this way.....wearing a uniform has several beneficial aspects to it:

      1) you do not have to compete in the fashion race any longer a school

      2) more time for home work at night, no need to think about what you are going to wear the next day

      3) The top items of clothing (shirt, sweater) may be worn multiple times before washing them.  You should not perspire as much in the winter time.  :lightbulb2: 

 

And lastly, you will blend in.  When some ones say "the girl in the oxford button-down and sweater did it" you are good to go!!  :hmmm:

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I don't really think it's more Christan to dress one way more than another.  Though if you are trying to honor god with your body you should probably dress in a way thats not lewd.  

If your aunt is that controlling then I dont know what to say.  Up to you I guess.  Find somewhere else to live or do what she says

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Being 16 or even 21 is only part of being an adult. It is not the whole picture. Your attitude towards how you think, dress, and conduct yourself concerning others is the rest of the picture. Life is not about you alone and what you, yourself want. It's about those around you. You might be thinking, “when I turn 18, I will be able to do as I please”. But here's the rub katy, . . . there will always be someone in authority and telling you what to do your whole life.

 

Your aunt isn't doing this to make your life miserable She's trying to help you and point you in the right directions, so that you will be able to make good sensible and sound decisions that will not only keep you safe through out life, but help you do well in the workplace and so on. You will need good manners and proper dress when you enter the work force. If your vocabulary is laced with yah, nah, nope, yup, uhhh, ummm, dude, homey and so on. A prospective employer is not going to take you seriously. And it is not just employer's, its customers as well.

 

Disrespectful conduct and immodest dress, tells others around you, that you do not care about others; are not a responsible adult and it leaves a big question mark in their minds whether they should trust you with responsibilities.

 

________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

If you and I meet, and you forget me, you have lost nothing.  But, if you meet Jesus, and you forget him, you have lost everything.

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Being 16 or even 21 is only part of being an adult. It is not the whole picture. Your attitude towards how you think, dress, and conduct yourself concerning others is the rest of the picture. Life is not about you alone and what you, yourself want. It's about those around you. You might be thinking, “when I turn 18, I will be able to do as I please”. But here's the rub katy, . . . there will always be someone in authority and telling you what to do your whole life.

 

Your aunt isn't doing this to make your life miserable She's trying to help you and point you in the right directions, so that you will be able to make good sensible and sound decisions that will not only keep you safe through out life, but help you do well in the workplace and so on. You will need good manners and proper dress when you enter the work force. If your vocabulary is laced with yah, nah, nope, yup, uhhh, ummm, dude, homey and so on. A prospective employer is not going to take you seriously. And it is not just employer's, its customers as well.

 

Disrespectful conduct and immodest dress, tells others around you, that you do not care about others are not a responsible adult and it leaves a big question mark in their minds whether they should trust you with responsibilities.

 

________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

If you and I meet, and you forget me, you have lost nothing.  But, if you meet Jesus, and you forget him, you have lost everything.

 

Amen ,

and I'll just add that at sixteen you shouldn't be looking for somewhere else to live as was suggested by another poster as an alternative. 

 

God Bless. 

Nigel. 

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Try to figure out why you and your Aunt desire you to dress a certain way - analyze those desires - get to the very root of them (your desires and her desires) so that you can understand what they are (the desires) and why you have them. Then, think about what God would want you to do with those desires.

If what God would want you to do is different than what your Aunt wants you to do, then explain everything to your Aunt and see what she says.

Do that with all desires (seek out why you have those desires and what God would have you do with them.)

Checklist for you:
What is the desire?
Why do I have the desire?
What would God want me to do with the desire?

If you can do that well, your Aunt will probably relax a bit (be less controlling of you); and she may even start to ask you for advice.

If you cannot figure out why you have a certain desire, seek others' advice, preferably a woman with wisdom [in such instances as this one]. In this case, however, I'm pretty sure you know why you want to dress your own way, and you only need to be mindful of that. (You want control of yourself because your ideas of what positive attention is, and how to draw [only] such positive attention, differs from your Aunt's ideas. Where those desires come from I won't say here, but I'm sure you can figure it out.)

 

So my advice is for you to be mindful and do what God would have you do.

 

Good luck.

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God will never have someone do or even desire something contradictory to his word. His word tells children to obey their parents. Why? Because minors are still under their care. Desiring to disobey parents and doing our own thing NEVER comes from God, rather that comes from the person's own desires in their hearts.

 

16 year olds are at a time in their lives when they are learning about being independent. And it is natural for a teenager to want to do things their own way. Parents and / or guardians foremost must be a parent first, and a buddy second. It is NOT unreasonable for a parent to ask a son or daughter in their care to speak to them in a respectful manner or to dress modestly.

 

There will be plenty of time for katy to make her own decisions on dress, but for now she needs to follow what her guardians are asking her to do which as I said is not an unreasonable request.

 

 

______________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

If you and I meet, and you forget me. You have lost nothing, But, if you meet Jesus, and you forget him, you have lost everything.

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Peer pressure will be a big thing for the next couple of years. But after high school, should you be out in the real world, it becomes better. At least I felt a lot more freedom to be more independant when I was in college. By independant I mean I could be myself and reflect the values I was raised with, which were pretty biblical. As long as you are under you aunts roof you should honor her wishes. She loves you and wants what is best for you.

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