marriedguy Posted February 5, 2015 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 2 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 9 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 02/04/2015 Status: Offline Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 My daughter is only 8, yes my wife is jealous, she is not a christian. she is orthodox, does not follow it though. Counselling seems like a option. Yesterday she told me, men are only sperm donors, that a child belongs to the mother, and a man has no rights. Her thinking is messed up. Keep me in your prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marriedguy Posted February 5, 2015 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 2 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 9 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 02/04/2015 Status: Offline Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 (edited) Coming to keeping ones word. Are marriage vows important ? It says in sickness and death stay together. My wife has some problems with her thinking, is divorce justifiable in this case ?. I already broke my vow of marriage with my ex wife. I do not want to break it again and not keep my word. I feel guilty. I am torn between my daughter and my wife. Only God can solve this. Edited February 5, 2015 by marriedguy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JHERB Posted February 5, 2015 Group: Senior Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 82 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 789 Content Per Day: 0.15 Reputation: 123 Days Won: 4 Joined: 11/06/2009 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/23/1971 Share Posted February 5, 2015 pryaing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ncn Posted February 5, 2015 Group: Graduated to Heaven Followers: 6 Topic Count: 406 Topics Per Day: 0.09 Content Count: 5,248 Content Per Day: 1.13 Reputation: 1,337 Days Won: 67 Joined: 08/07/2011 Status: Offline Share Posted February 5, 2015 Praying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
appy Posted February 5, 2015 Group: Royal Member Followers: 23 Topic Count: 133 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 2,864 Content Per Day: 0.62 Reputation: 2,596 Days Won: 2 Joined: 08/07/2011 Status: Offline Share Posted February 5, 2015 It is sad that your current wife feels extremely threatened by your daughter. This situation will leave you unable to connect, love, and emotionally support your daughter. Your wife is trying to force you to choose between your daughter and her. If you go with your wife's wishes, you will miss out on your daughter's childhood and regret it deeply. It will hurt to the core. A Jealous parent is very insecure and selfish and will find ways to make themselves feel less threatened, all at the expense of the child. Either emotionally or physically. And the other parent is caught in the middle, unable to build the needed bridge between the two. It isn't you that needs counseling, but her. But as others have recommended for your daughter's sake arranging an appointment with a marriage counselor is definitely necessary. If she wants to leave, let her. Your not obligated to force an unbelieving spouse to stay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Teditis Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 I think that the Marriage Vows are incredibly important and I think that your reliance on God is crucial too... the counseling might help your wife gain a new perspective of the relationship between a father and daughter. Praying... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wingnut- Posted February 5, 2015 Group: Royal Member Followers: 39 Topic Count: 101 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 7,673 Content Per Day: 1.31 Reputation: 7,358 Days Won: 67 Joined: 04/22/2008 Status: Offline Share Posted February 5, 2015 Having gone through a divorce myself, with a daughter the same age, I can tell you now that you cannot abandon her. Your daughter needs you, and your new wife needs to come to terms with that or she should have never married you in the first place. Counseling may be your only option here, leaving your child hanging out to dry should not be an option at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LadyC Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Coming to keeping ones word. Are marriage vows important ? It says in sickness and death stay together. My wife has some problems with her thinking, is divorce justifiable in this case ?. I already broke my vow of marriage with my ex wife. I do not want to break it again and not keep my word. I feel guilty. I am torn between my daughter and my wife. Only God can solve this. her feelings on a man's role in a daughter's life are so inaccurate. i have to wonder what kind of relationship she has with her own father? if i were to guess, i'd say that he had no part in her life growing up and that her mother was vocal about her bitterness. but that's beside the point. you ask about the dissolution of a marriage. this is why God tells us not to be unequally yoked. unbelievers do not share our values, and it will inevitably cause some major difficulty in the marriage. that being said, you ARE a believer, and as such, you need to be obedient to God. He says that we are not to leave an unbelieving spouse for anything short of adultery. but He also says if the unbelieving spouse chooses to to divorce you, you're in the clear. sadly, until she comes to a point where she wants to leave you, you're going to be in for a miserable time. don't alienate your child. you don't have to be obedient to your wife to placate her. be a Godly man without apology. just refuse to engage in any discussion (if you can) about those things that she disagrees with. enjoy being a dad. spend time with her, take her on outings or to movies or to get ice cream in the summer. have her in your home as much as you can providing your wife is not verbally or physically abusive towards her. (and if she is abusive, and you get weekends with your child, spend them in a hotel away from the wife.) make sure you are attending church regularly too. you need the fellowship and the edification. i'll be praying for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Zion* Posted February 5, 2015 Group: Royal Member Followers: 16 Topic Count: 154 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 3,245 Content Per Day: 0.78 Reputation: 2,397 Days Won: 9 Joined: 12/09/2012 Status: Offline Birthday: 05/11/1984 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Coming to keeping ones word. Are marriage vows important ? It says in sickness and death stay together. My wife has some problems with her thinking, is divorce justifiable in this case ?. I already broke my vow of marriage with my ex wife. I do not want to break it again and not keep my word. I feel guilty. I am torn between my daughter and my wife. Only God can solve this. her feelings on a man's role in a daughter's life are so inaccurate. i have to wonder what kind of relationship she has with her own father? if i were to guess, i'd say that he had no part in her life growing up and that her mother was vocal about her bitterness. but that's beside the point. you ask about the dissolution of a marriage. this is why God tells us not to be unequally yoked. unbelievers do not share our values, and it will inevitably cause some major difficulty in the marriage. that being said, you ARE a believer, and as such, you need to be obedient to God. He says that we are not to leave an unbelieving spouse for anything short of adultery. but He also says if the unbelieving spouse chooses to to divorce you, you're in the clear. sadly, until she comes to a point where she wants to leave you, you're going to be in for a miserable time. don't alienate your child. you don't have to be obedient to your wife to placate her. be a Godly man without apology. just refuse to engage in any discussion (if you can) about those things that she disagrees with. enjoy being a dad. spend time with her, take her on outings or to movies or to get ice cream in the summer. have her in your home as much as you can providing your wife is not verbally or physically abusive towards her. (and if she is abusive, and you get weekends with your child, spend them in a hotel away from the wife.) make sure you are attending church regularly too. you need the fellowship and the edification. i'll be praying for you. Listen to her. She is so right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1to3 Posted February 5, 2015 Group: Royal Member Followers: 22 Topic Count: 139 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 4,229 Content Per Day: 1.23 Reputation: 3,076 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/28/2014 Status: Offline Share Posted February 5, 2015 (edited) As a christian man, marriedguy, you are to be the head of the household, as a father you are part of your daughter, part of her heart is with you. Please don't break it. It can greatly affect your daughter for the rest of her life. To leave your daughter is like disowning her, like abandoning, like casting her away as if she has no importance in your eyes, when for her you her father, mean the world to her. Every girl likes to hear from her father that she is daddy's little girl and that she will always be daddy's little girl no matter what. A son to needs his fathers love. Many children who have been hurt by their father in childhood, have a tougher time connecting with, trusting in, or finding God. The father is a very important element in the nucleus of a family. When the father is no more in the family, it can have many repercussions on the children who have been left behind, abandoned. My father died when I had just turned 13 years of age. It was one of the most traumatic events in my life, that effected me very deeply. Somehow I never stopped loving God, because He was always part of my inner soul resource for discourse,(thank God) but it left me with terrible abandonment and trust issues, that have taken me a lifetime to recuperate from with Gods patient help. And yes it played a part in me trusting God fully. I mean to understand how to Trust God fully, happened slowly, by me witnessing God, work, heal and transform my life in such a way that of my one I could never have accomplished. Through the years that I have seen God work in my life, shows proof that He never abandoned me. God is my heavenly Father and in Him I have learnt to place my Trust and Faith(its been a journey). But a christian father should be a representation of our Father in heaven through His only begotten son Christ Jesus. Your daughter especially now as a child of eight definitely needs your presence in her life, to help direct her path,help her know that she is loved ,nurtured and cared for by her father. When your daughter will begin her teens, she most definitely needs her father to be present in her life. If you go for counseling, i hope you pray and find a wholesome christian counseling. When my father died, it changed our entire families life dynamics, it was not divorce, but the feelings of abandonment were very present. When I was a teenager, how I longed for my father and so wished he could be with me just to walk down a street together. to walk down somewhere with my father I would think, how wonderful that would have been. when my father died, I felt a part of me died along with him. A part of life died. that part of life has taken a lifetime for me to recapture. Through many trials and errors, I have tried to recapture it. It aches me even as I write you this. At least you are alive,you still have a chance to be with your daughter, please for your sake and hers, please don't miss out on it. Edited February 5, 2015 by 1to3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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