bubbles baloo Posted July 15, 2015 Group: Junior Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 11 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 93 Content Per Day: 0.03 Reputation: 110 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/21/2015 Status: Offline Birthday: 08/05/1965 Share Posted July 15, 2015 You May Have Heard That The Divorce Rate In The Church Is 50%… Get Ready To Be Shocked. This is a game-changer. Talk about “an old wives’ tale.” You’ve heard it said that 1) 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce; 2) most marriages that do happen to make it are, nonetheless, unhappy, and 3) Christians are just as likely to divorce as non-believers. These claims, long understood to be research-based facts, never quite sat right with me. Still, admittedly, while these assertions do swim upstream against the flow of both our common sense and our common experience, we have, nevertheless, accepted them (present company included) as valid because – well, you know, because “social science …”. As it turns out, your gut was right. It’s all nonsense – urban legend of a sort, propagated, most likely, by the same post-moderns who today seek to similarly undermine the God-designed institution of legitimate man-woman marriage by redefining it into oblivion. Shaunti Feldhahn is a Harvard-trained researcher and author. In her recently released book, “The Good News About Marriage: Debunking Discouraging Myths about Marriage and Divorce,” Feldhahn details groundbreaking findings from an extensive eight-year study on marriage and divorce. Among other things, her research found: The actual divorce rate has never gotten close to 50 percent. Those who attend church regularly have a significantly lower divorce rate than those who don’t. Most marriages are happy. Simple changes make a big difference in most marriage problems. Most remarriages succeed. In an interview with CBN News, Feldhahn shared that, like most of us, she had swallowed the anti-marriage propaganda hook, line, and sinker. She believed “that most marriages are unhappy and 50 percent of them end in divorce, even in the church.” “‘I didn’t know. … I’ve stood up on stage and said every one of these wrong statistics.’ “Then eight years ago, she asked assistant Tally Whitehead for specific research on divorce for an article she was writing. After much digging, neither of them could find any real numbers. “That kicked off a personal, years-long crusade to dig through the tremendously complicated, sometimes contradictory research to find the truth. “‘First-time marriages: probably 20 to 25 percent have ended in divorce on average,’ the study revealed. ‘Now, OK, that’s still too high, but it’s a whole lot better than what people think it is,’ Feldhahn added.” CBN noted that “[T]he 50 percent figure came from projections of what researchers thought the divorce rate would become as they watched the divorce numbers rising in the 1970s and early 1980s when states around the nation were passing no-fault divorce laws.” So, in other words (and I wish I could say I long suspected this), the 50-percent divorce figure is simply a myth based upon decades-old (and woefully inaccurate) speculation. As it turns out, the shelf-life for marriages in the U.S. has taken a sharp turn for the better since the 1970s and ’80s. “‘But the divorce rate has been dropping,’ Feldhahn said. ‘We’ve never hit those numbers [the 50 percent figure]. We’ve never gotten close.’” “And it’s even lower among churchgoers, where a couple’s chance of divorcing is more likely in the single digits or teens,” added CBN. Additionally, the study determined that four-out-of-five marriages are happy. “That number flies in the face of the popular belief that only about 30 percent of marriages are happy.” “‘Most people think most marriages are just kind of ‘eeh’ … just kind of rolling along,’ observed Feldhahn. ‘And they’re shocked when I tell them that the actual average is 80 percent: 80 percent of marriages are happy. … “‘The studies show that if they stay married for five years, that almost 80 percent of those will be happy five years later,’ she concluded.” Still, of the study’s many myth-busting revelations, the fact I found most interesting (and instructive) was this: Of all marriages, Christian marriages prove the most durable. “‘The Good News About Marriage’ also reveals the divorce rate among those active in their church is 27 to 50 percent lower than among non-churchgoers,” noted the report. “Feldhahn’s hope is that once people learn the truth that they will spread it far and wide.” “‘This is a great chance,’ she said, ‘to stand up and say. We were all fooled. Not anymore.’” Indeed, “Fool me once …” and all that. I’ve covered it before. Here’s what marriage is: the God-ordained, lifelong, covenantal union between man and wife, designed to provide men, women, and children optimal stability and overall well-being. Marriage is that biologically, spiritually, and morally centered institution calculated to ensure responsible procreation and perpetuate the human race. Marriage, real marriage, represents the fundamental cornerstone of any healthy society (any society that hopes to survive, at least). Here’s what marriage is not: Anything else. In short, marriage is what it is. It’s encouraging to learn that, even under the increasing barrage of no-fault divorce and sin-centric marriage re-definition artillery, this cornerstone institution has, thus far, survived all efforts to destroy it. It’s even more encouraging to learn that, as with all things, marriages built upon the rock of Christ prove stronger still. I agree with Shaunti Feldhahn. Let’s spread the good news far and wide. i agree!!! marriage takes a lot of hard work and like me being divorced 3 times i took my vows seriously . it was my husbands who cheated and drank and used dope and one of them killed my dog and cat. and i wasnt going to stay in that marriage to be killed myself. my first husband used to beat me up . i didnt know this until we wed and he went to jail and got out then he started beating me up. he cheated on me , he made me blasck and blue and when you LOVEEEEEEEEEEE someone you cant be doing that. so i divorced him. second after 5 weeks of marriage he left the city and moved to another province with this female. chater again. third one chated on me and when i found out oi was crushed . then he deliveratley killed my puppy and i couldnt stay in a marriage like that. my life could of been in danger. one thing in my 50 yrs i learned once a cheater always a cheater , well smae rule goes for abusing spouses. and drugs and alcohoil. thank god i waited 5 yrs to find me a man .this one dont drink or do drugs. and he is woinderful. he was my foster brother 30 yrs ago. so it isnt like i just picked him up. we have a history together. god brought him back into my life again and i thank god Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezra Posted July 15, 2015 Group: Royal Member Followers: 16 Topic Count: 134 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 8,142 Content Per Day: 2.35 Reputation: 6,612 Days Won: 20 Joined: 11/02/2014 Status: Offline Share Posted July 15, 2015 It's good to see that another myth has been exposed and exploded. It's also good to hear that you finally found a good spouse and a good marriage. Many marriages could have been saved had the couple done a few common sense things BEFORE tying the knot, like sitting down with mature married individuals to seek their advice prior to marriage. Another thing which could prevent divorce is for both parties to solemnly agree BEFORE marriage that they wll never resort to divorce under any circumstances. That is, provided, they both have already make wise choices which have been confirmed by those who would have some insight into people. These are just general observations. The criteria for Christians are much more demanding, and if Christians are unequally yoked with unbelievers, guess who is going to go downhill. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubbles baloo Posted July 15, 2015 Group: Junior Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 11 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 93 Content Per Day: 0.03 Reputation: 110 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/21/2015 Status: Offline Birthday: 08/05/1965 Author Share Posted July 15, 2015 we are just dating we arent married . but i think i found the way to truwe love. its to know ones heart ..what they feel inside , to know ones soul ...what they believe inside and to know ones mind ..what one thinks. to the best of their ability. they should know these things as that will be a great anchor to stay together. many today dont KNOW each other and they get married so hastily after a few months or a year. that is wrong in my books. get to know each other take a few yrs before jumping intomarriage. i too k my vows serious but the ones i married didnt . that was my downfall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FresnoJoe Posted July 15, 2015 Group: Graduated to Heaven Followers: 207 Topic Count: 60 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 8,651 Content Per Day: 1.17 Reputation: 5,761 Days Won: 4 Joined: 01/31/2004 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/04/1943 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Hallelujah~! ~ Praying~! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Child_of_Hope_in_Jesus Posted July 15, 2015 Group: Members Followers: 4 Topic Count: 4 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 42 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 43 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/03/2015 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/09/1970 Share Posted July 15, 2015 I agree with you I only been married one time he was abusive but I stayed in the marriage as I thought that was the right thing to do well after our 3 children were taken by the state CPS and he fooled them made him self look like the good parent he was a military man know how to control and get what he wanted but I know nothing and keep the secrets too but I did want our family but God had other idea and kids were taken we both lost parental rights and have not seen kids in 14 years so after all that I left my abusive hubby and am still single after 11 yrs I came to have a online boy friend and he just after knowing me a long time and dating 2 years online came to visit me too my boyfriend and me have both been hurt so no sexual stuff and we just learning hugs are ok but we taking it slow I not think I remarry but we have a relationship that based on Christ being the center too I think that how all relationship should be too love light and hope lily Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubbles baloo Posted July 15, 2015 Group: Junior Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 11 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 93 Content Per Day: 0.03 Reputation: 110 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/21/2015 Status: Offline Birthday: 08/05/1965 Author Share Posted July 15, 2015 i agree lily tyotally.. i met my foster brother and i hadnt seen him in 30 yrs. hes coming down this weekend .this will be the third time i seen him. we both wanna date but were taking it slow too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
conservator Posted July 16, 2015 Group: Members Followers: 2 Topic Count: 4 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 29 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 37 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/23/2013 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/20/1942 Share Posted July 16, 2015 I was divorced twice before I met my wife. My first wife wanted the divorce and said that after 25 years of marriage she never loved me and didn't want anything to do with me. My second wife had mental problems and, unfortunately, I allowed physical pleasures interfere with thinking. I met my wife and we both have grown together. We both were baptized five years ago. We both go to church rarely missing a Sunday, pray together, read the Bible, and attend Bible study classes. People that knew me years ago can't believe I am the same man. I would never have believed that my one true love has brought me closer to Jesus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubbles baloo Posted July 17, 2015 Group: Junior Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 11 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 93 Content Per Day: 0.03 Reputation: 110 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/21/2015 Status: Offline Birthday: 08/05/1965 Author Share Posted July 17, 2015 thank you for sharing that conservator. each of us walked our own path BUT it only matters about what we believe now and what we do now . the past cant be changed only from this time forward Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
other one Posted July 17, 2015 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 29 Topic Count: 598 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 56,171 Content Per Day: 7.56 Reputation: 27,900 Days Won: 271 Joined: 12/29/2003 Status: Offline Share Posted July 17, 2015 when we were in college we had three sets of friends that we seemed were always together.... 4 couples that grew together as friends more than any I know. When we dated we usually were at least double dating and when one of us guys had to work, the girlfriend usually went with us anyway..... that's how close we were. Now comes 1970 and all four sets of friends get married......... all four have two kids (girl then a boy) and all are still together.... We had our 45th anniversary Wednesday.... We are all believers, and to the best of my knowledge we are all happy.... Then there is my aunt Betty.... she was kind of like the lady at the well Jesus was talking to.... she married 5 times and after the last divorce she just decided it wasn't worth the effort and just lived with three others.... Then there was my Aunt Bertha who outlived 4 husbands. i can see how complex this subject could be to do statistics on. One would have to follow each single person throughout their lives..... But just off hand it seems to me that when a person divorces, they are prone to marry and divorce several times skewing numbers. It would be good to know just how many first time marriages don't last. That would be very difficult to find out with any real certainty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubbles baloo Posted July 17, 2015 Group: Junior Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 11 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 93 Content Per Day: 0.03 Reputation: 110 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/21/2015 Status: Offline Birthday: 08/05/1965 Author Share Posted July 17, 2015 (edited) congrats on 45 yrs , wow. you beat my parents. my dad passed a little before their 44th anniversary. and my sister been married for 43 yrs now. all happy too and christians. it is a hard subject to talk about but tha tis why i posted this to help people talk and maybe heal . i had reasons .i was stupid and got myself tangled up with abusers of all sorts. and as God is my witness , he never wanted that for me.i was so stupid andf bullheaded all my life ididnt care and did what i did because i was an adult. now i have changed all that. this song , listen to it. this is what i believe (video moved to the ) Edited July 18, 2015 by Omegaman 3.0 Video not in section approved for videos Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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