My daughter's wedding

[missmuffet]

1 hour ago, Dr3ams said:

Do you think because a Christian couple has serious martial problems (even catastrophic ones) that they are fake Christians? I think judging a book by it's cover applies here. 

I have seen equally successful marriages of non-believers. Marriage requires commitment, compassion, conviction, empathy, truth, etc...these are not exclusive to Christians. Though they can be enhanced because of our relationship with Jesus, that doesn't always happen with every Christian couple for various reasons.

 

This could turn out to be a disaster, or it could not. There is no guarantee either way. I agree with many of your points, but this is not a perfect world and we can't have everything we want. My experiences in life have taught me to reach higher but also to work with what you've been given. 

 

My daughter is marrying someone she is deeply in love with. My future son-in-law is marrying someone he is deeply in love with. To find someone that you can't honestly live without and with whom you have everything in common is a rare thing indeed these days. 

1 Cor. 7:12-14

But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.

"Do you think because a Christian couple has serious martial problems (even catastrophic ones) that they are fake Christians? I think judging a book by it's cover applies here."

Christians are human. You have a man and a woman so yes all marriages are going to have some problems. But like I said a true born again Christian couple are going to have a highly chance of a successful marriage since their marriage and their lives are 100% with God.

Is there a chance that your daughter could bring this man to God or this man could pull your daughter away from God?

[GoodFruit]

Dr3ams, in reading your various responses, I have to conclude that you have given this a lot of thought and I agree with everything you are saying.  I don't know enough about the situation to make any rash comments about your daughter and her future husband's relationship.  I don't know the condition of their hearts and their commitment to Christ but God does and that's good enough for me.  I will not judge them not knowing the intimate details.  Please don't be discouraged, at times there are people here that appear to be overly Pharisitic about things, but you did ask for advice and opinions...and you know what they say about opinions.   They mean well though so don't hold it against them.  

[Dr3ams]

1 minute ago, missmuffet said:

Is there a chance that your daughter could bring this man to God or this man could pull your daughter away from God?

He has become very close with my family. When he is home from deployment, he goes to church with us every chance he gets. He doesn't speak English, so I talk to him about the Gospel in German at least once a week. He told me before they get married that he wants to become a Christian. But...I know he doesn't fully comprehend what that means or should mean to him personally. Him and I will continue to talk and when I am sure that he wants more than just a label, when I'm sure he understands repentance and grace, then we will both get on our knees and he will give his heart at the foot of the cross. 

[missmuffet]

44 minutes ago, Dr3ams said:

He has become very close with my family. When he is home from deployment, he goes to church with us every chance he gets. He doesn't speak English, so I talk to him about the Gospel in German at least once a week. He told me before they get married that he wants to become a Christian. But...I know he doesn't fully comprehend what that means or should mean to him personally. Him and I will continue to talk and when I am sure that he wants more than just a label, when I'm sure he understands repentance and grace, then we will both get on our knees and he will give his heart at the foot of the cross. 

I hope that happens

[missmuffet]

55 minutes ago, GoodFruit said:

Dr3ams, in reading your various responses, I have to conclude that you have given this a lot of thought and I agree with everything you are saying.  I don't know enough about the situation to make any rash comments about your daughter and her future husband's relationship.  I don't know the condition of their hearts and their commitment to Christ but God does and that's good enough for me.  I will not judge them not knowing the intimate details.  Please don't be discouraged, at times there are people here that appear to be overly Pharisitic about things, but you did ask for advice and opinions...and you know what they say about opinions.   They mean well though so don't hold it against them.  

What is your meaning regarding the above statement?

[Dr3ams]

9 hours ago, GoodFruit said:

Dr3ams, in reading your various responses, I have to conclude that you have given this a lot of thought and I agree with everything you are saying.  I don't know enough about the situation to make any rash comments about your daughter and her future husband's relationship.  I don't know the condition of their hearts and their commitment to Christ but God does and that's good enough for me.  I will not judge them not knowing the intimate details.  Please don't be discouraged, at times there are people here that appear to be overly Pharisitic about things, but you did ask for advice and opinions...and you know what they say about opinions.   They mean well though so don't hold it against them.  

Thank you, that's very kind of you to say that. 

 

I want to thank everyone for their comments and opinions. Every one of them gave me something to think about.

@ missmuffet. Nearly every opinion you have written here mirrors what my wife has already expressed to me. Thank you for that, it has compelled me to think about her concerns on this matter with a little more care and scrutiny.

 

In conclusion. My wife and I have voiced our concerns and hopes to our daughter at length. Our daughter has always known what she wanted, even when she was in grade school. She never took a leap without examining the consequences and rewards. When she was 10, she decided she wanted to be a nurse. At 17 she entered nursing school and graduated three years later. She is now 21 and works at one of the best hospitals in the county. Her fiancee joined the German army at 18 and is currently in an Airborn division stationed two hours from where we live. He has done everything he can to separate himself from his parents culture and religion, and gets very upset when someone stereotypes him as Muslim without getting to know who he is inside. When they eat dinner at our house, once or twice a week, I observe them closely. What I see is what many couples dream about having but don't. Because of my background, they come to me often for advice. As a father to them both I try to give them as much time as they need from me. Considering what I have seen and experienced, I can't thank God enough to be a part of their lives and I want this wedding to be a day that they will both treasure for a lifetime.  

 

The wedding is on October 8th, 2016. I will post some photos later.

Edited September 21, 2016 by Dr3ams

[Logan]

Personally  I  don't  see why who she chooses for a bridesmaid or what she wears is anyone else's business. As for your future son in law...I will join you in standing in prayer for him. And for your daughter as well.

[ladypeartree]

Well said Logan .....praying for this couple as well

[shelma]

On 9/20/2016 at 4:32 PM, Dr3ams said:

I see your point,

 

On 9/20/2016 at 6:09 PM, Dr3ams said:

This could turn out to be a disaster, or it could not. There is no guarantee either way. I agree with many of your points, but this is not a perfect world and we can't have everything we want.

I think the people are not only concerned for your daughter but lets look at that verse again........

2 Corinthians 6:14-16(KJV)

¹⁴ Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

¹⁵ And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?

¹⁶ And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.

You see, actually Gods Words are not really suggestions but commands but most people of God either forget that or take it as not important or whatever the case may be but I take Him seriously. The thing is you are talking about your daughter, not you. I do not know anything about her walk with the Lord, I would think she surely doesnt know or understand the Word of God. Even though this young man is not a Muslim he is still an unbeliever as of right now and the above verses are speaking about any unbeliever. You truly love your daughter and we can all tell but at this point, since the relationship has gotten this far Dad, you are going to have to keep her in prayer, I know I would be concerned. The good news is God is able to handle this and He will. May God watch over everyone of you and protect you all and may we hear before long that this young man is now a Christian.

[Dr3ams]

56 minutes ago, shelma said:

You see, actually Gods Words are not really suggestions but commands

1 Cor. 7:12-14

But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy

Do you think that 1 Cor. 7: 12-14 and 2 Cor. 6: 14-16 contradict each other? I don't think they do. 2 Cor. 6: 14-16 is not talking about marriage. These verses are taken out of context too often. If you read that whole chapter you will notice that Paul is talking about ministry. In 1 Cor. 7: 12-14 it could be easily said that Paul was talking about a couple in which one got saved after they got married. Even though he could of, he made no reference to that did he? Maybe because the church was very young and there just wasn't enough young unmarried Christian men and women to go around.

Edited September 23, 2016 by Dr3ams