Death and Dying

[Catsmeow]

I know I won't be the only person on the board who has experienced the loss of a loved one, so I am hopeful some might offer wisdom here.

I am still reeling from the death of someone in the immediate family and having a hard time with the issue of "grief".

It's a burden so heavy, I feel like I don't know how to even begin.

The pain is so overwhelming and the shock hasn't fully set in. I'm waking up each day to know that this "person" will never call me again, never send another birthday or holiday card; never write another letter.

I'll never hear their voice again. Never see their face or watch their expression. I'll never be able to embrace them or tell them, "I love you." or "I miss you."

They're gone. Just gone. I feel like an empty hole is in my heart and the burden is sometimes so overwhelming, I can't shake it off. There's just a lingering pain and the aweful realization that they're never coming back.

Mourning the loss of a loved one is very painful. This particular one didn't know Christ so the hope of eternity is also gone and the grief felt more keenly.

I don't know how to cope with loss so great.

[Guest Rustyangel1]

Yes Cats I know all to well the pain of loosing someone you love. I lost my dad in 1987 and my mother in 1990. I have lost two very dear friends to breast cancer one just last October. I only know I got through it because of my faith. Was it easy? No but it was easier. You see we as christians have hope, the world doesn't. Hang on to that hope, the time we have apart from our loved ones is short indeed in the sight of eternity. I hope this helps. Love you Cats.

Edited March 13, 2005 by Rustyangel1

[Catsmeow]

Rusty, this loved one wasn't saved.

[nebula]

((((((((((((Cats)))))))))))))))

There's only one thing you can do with grief, especially grief that has no comfort.

Worship the LORD.

There's a song by Lamb that I believe may express the cry of your heart:

Ramah - Benjamite city

I hear your cry, I hear your cry

Ramah - I hear your lamentation

Crying, "Help me! Somebody help me!"

Cannot I console you?

Wipe away the tear from your eye?

There's a new day coming

The prophets tell us why

Rachel, beloved wife of Jacob

I hear your cry, I hear your cry

Rachel, weeping for your children

Why did they die? Why did they die?

Cannot I console you?

Wipe away the tear from your eye?

There's a new day coming

The prophets tell us why

Emmanuel, promised seed of David

When will You come? When will You come?

Emmanuel, You bear the sin of many

And from the dead arise

Lord, and from the dead arise

When will You console us?

Wipe away the tears from our eyes

When will you return and

Fulfill Your prophets' cry?

Emmanuel! Emmanuel!

Sorrow and sighing shall flee away

Never to return no more

Sorrow and sighing shall flee away

Never to return no more

I never will forget you!

[nebula]

Here's another song that incredibly ministered to me in a time of pain:

Kiss The Son

Words and Music by Kevin Prosch

When You've been broken

Broken to pieces

And your heart begins to faint

'Cause you don't understand

And when there is nothing

To reap from the ashes

And you can't even walk

Onto the fields of praise

But I bow down and kiss the Son

Oh I bow down and kiss the Son

When the rock falls

Falls upon you

And you get ground to dust

There's no music for the pain

You open the windows

The windows of heaven

And then you hold me

And you crush me like a rose

But I bow down and kiss the Son

Oh I bow down and kiss the Son

Let the praise of the Lord be in my mouth

Let the praise of the Lord be in my mouth

Though You slay me I will trust You, Lord

Though You slay me I will trust You, Lord

( Click here to get a sample of the song in audio.)

I have found that my greatest times of worship have been those moments I was in the most pain.

It helped carry me through.

LORD bless you, Cats!

[thereaperman]

hey there cats im sorry to hear your feeling low, listen to music helps me through, not hyms, but songs from my fav bands, because i feel god is talking to me through this medium and he knows how i feel.

simple man- lenard skynard

sunscreen- baz lurhman

fake plastic trees- radiohead

time of your life- greenday

tears in heaven- eric clapton

the wall (both discs)- pink flyod

wish you were here- pink flyod

the final cut/not now jhon- pink flyod

let it be/all you need it love- the beatles

gone away- the offspring

i break down to every one of these songs if i listen hard enough and feel in the mood, but i know god is there with me as the tears run, when im at my weakest.youve been a great help to me ever since ive known you, i pray god delivers you through this time of sadness like i know he will

god bless you

[tillmother]

I know what it's like to lose someone. I lost my first child back in 1998. She was stillborn @ 33 weeks from my due date. I guess all I can say is that it does get better; it might take awhile; but trust me it does. Just remember to turn to God and your friends for comfort. That's what I did

[Catsmeow]

Thank you all. I'm just real blue right now....I've hit a new low and I didn't know it was possible to feel this weak and pathetic.

God was merciful and spared my husband's life and gave him more time here on earth. I wouldn't be able to handle it if the Lord took him, also, (but he's saved now and I have peace regarding his soul).

[Dad Ernie]

Greetings Catsmeow,

Thank you for sharing your grief with us. Time is a healer. We can be assured that our grief will not last an eternity, for every tear shall be wiped away:

Revelation 21:4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

I know it is hard now, and we grieve with you. Remember your hope and continue to move toward Him.

May God comfort you and keep you. Let His peace reign in your heart as you gaze upon Him.

Blessings,

Dad Ernie

[UndecidedFrog]

Dear catsmeow,

I know you are feeling down. With your grief, it is understandable. I do recommend a book I read a long time ago that helped me put perspective to my grief when loved ones died. It's called: On Death and Dying by Elizabeth Kubler Ross.

I hope it will shed some light if you choose to read it.

With kind regards,

UndecidedFrog