Husband went to strip club

[Arbykeen]

55 minutes ago, Blueyedjewel said:

Interesting. Thats usually what those who are not reborn again do, cherry pick a scripture that they THINK serves them best at any given moment when speaking to those who are reborn again! . The natural man cannot discern the things of the spirit. You came here for advice and you got it. The most important eternal decision you and your wife can make is to seek the LORD. Come in humility and contriteness. Start reading the word of God (especially matthew,mark,luke and hon, romans and hebrews to start) and ask God to save you.  Blessings

The ABC’s Of Salvation

A. Christ DIED for you – Romans 5:8
B. Christ PAID your sins in Full – 2 Corinthians 5:21, 1 Peter 2:24
C. BELIEVE(Trust In Completely) on Christ ALONE for salvation – John 3:16, Acts 16:31, Ephesians 2:8,9, 1 Cor. 15:1-4
Repent! For the kingdom of Heaven is at hand! Matthew 4:17

“For the wages of sin is death(Eternal Torment In Hell & The Lake of Fire); But the Gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ Our Lord”. Romans 6:23

IT IS THAT SIMPLE – THE GOSPEL TRUTH

Yes please look into the mirror.  Cherry picking is exactly what my wife has done to me.  She picks the things that best serve her idesa and puts them in front of me, but forgets anything that might make her look bad.  I feel that is what has been done in these reply including you.  

I do admit that I don't know what a born-again means but it almost sounds like sinners have repented and now think they are better then others.  I will have look up the real meaning of born-again.

[Guest]

47 minutes ago, Arbykeen said:

Yes please look into the mirror.  Cherry picking is exactly what my wife has done to me.  She picks the things that best serve her idesa and puts them in front of me, but forgets anything that might make her look bad.  I feel that is what has been done in these reply including you.  

I do admit that I don't know what a born-again means but it almost sounds like sinners have repented and now think they are better then others.  I will have look up the real meaning of born-again.

I examine myself daily . 

None are righteous no not even one. Romans 3:10 

The only way a person is deemed righteous in the eyes of the Father is to surrender to Christ who shed blood on the cross for the sins of the whole world. Jesus died,rose from the grave on the 3rd day , ascended into heaven and sits at the right hand of the Father right now . He will come back again to judge the living and the dead.  

I dont think I am better. I just forgiven because I put my trust in Jesus and his word and not the world and its false hope.

I may fall to sin, God forbid if I do not keep guard over my flesh  because I am a human being  in a fallen world. I do not sin freely which is what the unsaved NATURALLY do. They are devoid of the spirit.   Jesus calls me his saint. I am redeemed from above. I am reborn into the spirit of God. The Holy Spirit indwells me. I am a new creation in Christ. I have the mind of Christ. Jesus Christ took my stoney heart and turned it into a heart of flesh. 

I felt it was loving to be truthful to you. I left you information to  help you to find the way to have eternal life in Jesus Christ!  

You and your wife can have a life with Jesus as your Lord and Savior but we all have to come with a humble heart and a contrite heart. Satan wants you to fail. Satan wants you and your wife to hate each other. He is the Father of lies and the enemy of anything good and righteous. Dont let him win your soul! 

I will go in peace. I pray you make the eternally correct decision. 

Blessed be the name of the LORD!! 

[Arbykeen]

2 hours ago, Cobalt1959 said:

I find your response contradictory.  You began a thread asking for help, asking for opinions.  This was the last line from your original post:

We gave you our opinions, but you do not like them, so we are the ones that are the problem.  What I see in your posts is that you are wishing for someone to give you justification for what you did.  There is no justification for what you did because what you did was wrong.  You cheated on your wife and there is no justification for that.  I will repeat that you cannot find intimacy in a strip club.  That is an illusion because actual intimacy always involves two people with actual invested emotions.  You may have invested emotions in someone at the strip club but they certainly did not invest the same emotions in you.  They were there for money.  That's like trying to withdraw love from an ATM machine.

No one here is casting stones.  I am certainly not because morally, I have done worse than you have.  I cheated on my first wife with a woman almost half my age.  I rationalized it.  I made excuses for it.  I told myself every single day myriad reasons why it was OK for me to cheat on my wife.  How I was a special case and could do this morally-wrong thing because I didn't get this or I wasn't getting that so that made everything OK.  It does not.  It was still wrong.  I did it for purely selfish reasons.  When we step out like this we will find every reason in the book to justify it because we tell ourselves we are being either treated so horribly, or are being denied something so badly that we have the right to cheat.  We do not, and those justifications are born 100% out of selfishness.  We hurt our spouse, we hurt ourselves and we severely damage ourselves in the process and some of that damage is never repaired.  When we go outside the marriage to try and supply some need we do not think we are getting, we actually elevate our own behavior to a worse point then what we perceive our partners poor behavior to be, because this is a boundary you simply do not cross without grave consequences.  At some point, if you really want to repair the damage, you have to own up to your mistake and take responsibility for it.  Both before your wife and before God.

Believing in God is not enough.  One certainly does not have to go to church to be saved, but it helps.  The one thing that is not optional is accepting Jesus as your Savior.  And these moral quandaries will not become clear to you until that happens.

I have accepted Jesus as my Savior.  Not much said about the sin of the wife for withholding intimate relations long before any strip club.  There fore most of the responses were cherry-picking the Bible for their own uses.  They did not use all of the good book any the pieces they wanted to cast stones.  You were kind but still not free of sin.

 

[BK1110]

If you are not born-again Christians, relying on Christ alone for your salvation, and having committed your lives and heart to God, then you have far larger problems than even a broken marriage. Repentance to one another can't truly start until there is repentance to God. When you were married, you made an oath to God about that union. Before even your wife's trust, you have violated God's trust. If you feel burdened by this, that is the Spirit calling to to repentance. Answer that call and the restoration can begin!

"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." -- Hebrews 10:24-25

I know you may not want to because of past issues, but it's critically important to find a good, Bible-teaching church and join. We need believers around us to strengthen us and to help hold us accountable, to counsel and comfort us in times of difficulty and temptation. God has commanded us to continue going to church because we need that support network. You need to repent to God, ask for his salvation and restoration, and draw in close with fellow believers who can lift you up and help guide you in love. Going it alone is not possible, not for any of us.

God bless you on your journey to healing! 

Edited August 8, 2017 by BK1110