Focussing on God

[Colorful]

  Hello there, thank you for taking time out of your day to read my post.

  A little bit of my testimony to better connect with my current issue...

  When I was a child, I was abused. When we moved to away from the abuser we found ourselves in a very racist area. I'm Native American Indian, Black and White. At the time I was in 5th grade and began to believe that I was less (and possibly in danger) because I was not 100% white. This lead to me being suicidal and hospitalized at age 11. They put me on so much medication that I got high before I knew what getting high was. After that we moved up North where I further got into intentionally getting high, cutting, and burning myself. I was severely depressed and going in and out of hospitals and such helped connect me with other addicts. Attempting to pull me away from "the wrong crowd" my mom enrolled me in a private school, which is also a Christian school. After some crazy weeks, God had brought me to the point of hearing Him speak directly to me, through His Word being shared, and the words and actions of certain believers around me. He saved me the night of September 27, 2007. 

 

   Immediately I was filled with the Holy Spirit and was freed from most of my addictions! My life radically changed from that night and I was given such peace and joy that only God could give!

   God has been so good to me, but I have let different things take my attention off of God. I believe from time to time I get this intense desire for pleasure. Before, that manifested itself in an eating disorder, but God has brought me so far from where I was! God has given me the clarity to see that the root of these intense desires is selfishness. But when the feeling comes on, my thoughts seem to keep wanting to think about it. I have been diagnosed with ADHD, and doing one task for too long can seem very difficult at times. However this feeling has spilled over into when I read the Bible (I find myself reading words instead of absorbing  God's truth) prayer, and in other situations where I know what would be the preferred thing (working on homework/cleaning) but it feels like so much of me greatly desires something exciting.

    I know life is not one excitement to the next. I feel like God warned me that if I'm always trying to chase that excitement, I'm going to miss opportunities He wants me to take. Somewhere along the line I took my focus off of Him, to chase certain immediate excitements (the excitements in and of themselves not sinful, just perhaps not what I needed to be doing at the time). I'm sorry and I really want to keep God as first in my life. I've noticed my heart has been hardened a bit. Would you mind praying that my heart is softened and that I live each day with God first? While the feelings to do something more exciting than what I am supposed to do may come on strong, I believe God is greater. I want to glorify God in every action I take.

  Thank you, and sorry for the length.

[Couppy]

3 hours ago, Colorful said:

 I know life is not one excitement to the next. I feel like God warned me that if I'm always trying to chase that excitement, I'm going to miss opportunities He wants me to take. Somewhere along the line I took my focus off of Him, to chase certain immediate excitements (the excitements in and of themselves not sinful, just perhaps not what I needed to be doing at the time). I'm sorry and I really want to keep God as first in my life. I've noticed my heart has been hardened a bit. Would you mind praying that my heart is softened and that I live each day with God first? While the feelings to do something more exciting than what I am supposed to do may come on strong, I believe God is greater. I want to glorify God in every action I take.

  Thank you, and sorry for the length.

Welcome Colorful.

If the excitement you speak about is not sinful why are feeling guilty about it.  I wonder if you feel you should not be doing it because you assume Christians should not be doing it or is it because there are other priorities?

[Colorful]

1 hour ago, Yowm said:

Welcome to Worthy Colorful and pray God returns you to your first love.

  Thank you Yowm. I am especially convicted by your words, as I find the words spoken to the church at Ephesus in Revelation so sobering.

 

1 hour ago, Couppy said:

Welcome Colorful.

If the excitement you speak about is not sinful why are feeling guilty about it.  I wonder if you feel you should not be doing it because you assume Christians should not be doing it or is it because there are other priorities?

Thank you Couppy! It is because of other priorities. For example, when I have set specific time aside to do homework, I go to sit down and do it, but I find it difficult to sit still, and want to instead walk around a park. I desire to be a better steward of what God has given me.

[GandalfTheWise]

6 hours ago, Colorful said:

 He saved me the night of September 27, 2007. 

A decade as a Christian.  Cool!!!

One thing to be aware of is that our relationship with God does change over time.  As we mature and spend years walking with God, some things will change.  In one sense, it is like growing up.  Some things that are very important to us as a child become less important as we are older; some things we don't worry about as a child become more important to us as we get old.  We acquire more experience and better judgement and our faith grows over time.  The emotions we feel may change over time as well with this.

Another thing that happens is that God is continually working to change us and sometimes heal us from things that we drag along with us.  Sometimes (not always, but sometimes) a spiritual dry spell is God's way of getting our attention that He wants to work on something that has been hobbling our spiritual growth.  This is not always a matter of repentance for personal shortcomings or sin.  Sometimes it is a matter that we carry around some spiritual or emotional wounds or injuries from things that happened to us before we became Christians and God wants to heal us and free us from those things.

God created us as unique individuals.  The prayer and Bible study schedule that works well for one person may not work for another.  One of my pastors has been on the same Bible reading schedule (using the One-Year Bible) and devotional time every morning for a few decades.  It works well for him.  Speaking for myself, I tend to run through cycles and seasons (usually 3 to 6 months) where some schedule and particular spiritual activity works very well.  Then in a period of a few weeks to a month, it's as if that dries up..  I then have to move to some other schedule and then get a lot out of that for awhile.   Decades ago, I used to kick myself and get down on myself for not having enough discipline and trying to force myself to keep doing stuff because I was "supposed" to do it.  I then found I needed to learn how to walk with God the way He made me to walk with Him.  

 

 

[Willa]

Sometimes the dry spells are times of testing to see if we will do what we have already been taught in His Word.  He wants us be filled with experiential knowledge of His Word, which produces true wisdom.  

I have reading disorders and must read phonetically  or I lose my place.  Poor eye coordination causes me to frequently lose my place.  I either underline with colored pencils or use a wax highlighter in my Bible.  And I read till I come to something that really gets my attention, then I meditate on it for a day or two, check cross references, do word studies.  Another method used by my pastor is to outline a book of the Bible.  Either of these are alternatives that might work for you.  They force us to really think about what is being said.  Also, comparing with other versions sometimes helps since when it is worded differently it might strike a chord.  

Remember that God will ask us to be faithful in little things before he trusts us with more.  Also, walking in the Spirit is so important.  It is walking in obedience to whatever God is asking us to do, wherever His love leads us.  Sometimes it is befriend someone (of the same sex) at school who just needs a friend.  Sometimes it is to offer a sandwich and bottle of water to a person in the Name of Jesus.  We never know what God will ask us to do, but it does keep us on the edge--sort of fearful of making a fool of ourselves or of being rejected.  But never endangering our safety as I am female.  I find obeying Him is the greatest adventure.   It is not about exciting supernatural experiences as such.  It is about something that sounds really boring but tuns out to be an adventure.  Obedience to His love.

[Couppy]

7 hours ago, Colorful said:

  Thank you Yowm. I am especially convicted by your words, as I find the words spoken to the church at Ephesus in Revelation so sobering.

 

Thank you Couppy! It is because of other priorities. For example, when I have set specific time aside to do homework, I go to sit down and do it, but I find it difficult to sit still, and want to instead walk around a park. I desire to be a better steward of what God has given me.

I am yet to find anyone who likes sitting down to do homework.  I still think you are still too hard on yourself.  Have you ever thought of thinking about how to do the homework in the park during your walks?  Walk around a park helps thinking.  

[BK1110]

Welcome! Praying God strengthens you and restores the full joy of salvation to your heart and mind. May you love, obey, and trust Him fully! God Bless!

[Colorful]

15 hours ago, GandalfTheWise said:

A decade as a Christian.  Cool!!! 

 

  Yeah! I feel so blessed and thankful for what God has done these past 10 years in my life. What a special day it is. 

16 hours ago, GandalfTheWise said:

One thing to be aware of is that our relationship with God does change over time.  As we mature and spend years walking with God, some things will change.  In one sense, it is like growing up.  Some things that are very important to us as a child become less important as we are older; some things we don't worry about as a child become more important to us as we get old.  We acquire more experience and better judgement and our faith grows over time.  The emotions we feel may change over time as well with this.

Another thing that happens is that God is continually working to change us and sometimes heal us from things that we drag along with us.  Sometimes (not always, but sometimes) a spiritual dry spell is God's way of getting our attention that He wants to work on something that has been hobbling our spiritual growth.  This is not always a matter of repentance for personal shortcomings or sin.  Sometimes it is a matter that we carry around some spiritual or emotional wounds or injuries from things that happened to us before we became Christians and God wants to heal us and free us from those things.

God created us as unique individuals.  The prayer and Bible study schedule that works well for one person may not work for another.  One of my pastors has been on the same Bible reading schedule (using the One-Year Bible) and devotional time every morning for a few decades.  It works well for him.  Speaking for myself, I tend to run through cycles and seasons (usually 3 to 6 months) where some schedule and particular spiritual activity works very well.  Then in a period of a few weeks to a month, it's as if that dries up..  I then have to move to some other schedule and then get a lot out of that for awhile.   Decades ago, I used to kick myself and get down on myself for not having enough discipline and trying to force myself to keep doing stuff because I was "supposed" to do it.  I then found I needed to learn how to walk with God the way He made me to walk with Him.  

 

 

  That is very insightful. I can see God working on some of the things that I've at times, tried to bury. Also, most of what I initially learned about living the Christian life was taught to me while I was at the Christian high school. Since leaving I have learned (and am still learning) the spectrum of where Christians fall with certain things like a Bible reading schedule. Some people do devotions bright and early. While I do think that is great, when I first wake up I am usually still half asleep, and if I try to pray for very long at that time, unless I'm moving usually I risk falling back asleep mid-prayer. At the same time, I don't want to give God the "scraps of my day" so I'm trying to find a balance. Thank you so much for sharing!

12 hours ago, Willa said:

Sometimes the dry spells are times of testing to see if we will do what we have already been taught in His Word.  He wants us be filled with experiential knowledge of His Word, which produces true wisdom.  

I have reading disorders and must read phonetically  or I lose my place.  Poor eye coordination causes me to frequently lose my place.  I either underline with colored pencils or use a wax highlighter in my Bible.  And I read till I come to something that really gets my attention, then I meditate on it for a day or two, check cross references, do word studies.  Another method used by my pastor is to outline a book of the Bible.  Either of these are alternatives that might work for you.  They force us to really think about what is being said.  Also, comparing with other versions sometimes helps since when it is worded differently it might strike a chord.  

Remember that God will ask us to be faithful in little things before he trusts us with more.  Also, walking in the Spirit is so important.  It is walking in obedience to whatever God is asking us to do, wherever His love leads us.  Sometimes it is befriend someone (of the same sex) at school who just needs a friend.  Sometimes it is to offer a sandwich and bottle of water to a person in the Name of Jesus.  We never know what God will ask us to do, but it does keep us on the edge--sort of fearful of making a fool of ourselves or of being rejected.  But never endangering our safety as I am female.  I find obeying Him is the greatest adventure.   It is not about exciting supernatural experiences as such.  It is about something that sounds really boring but tuns out to be an adventure.  Obedience to His love.

 Thank you Willa! I am sorry to hear about your reading disorder, but your perseverance and adaptation speaks to what a faithful servant of Jesus you are! Thank you for your encouraging ideas and words of wisdom!

 

9 hours ago, Couppy said:

I am yet to find anyone who likes sitting down to do homework.  I still think you are still too hard on yourself.  Have you ever thought of thinking about how to do the homework in the park during your walks?  Walk around a park helps thinking.  

 I do find I struggle with legalism at times. Couppy, that is a great idea! That way, I feel the sunshine and breathe the fresh air while still being able to work on it. Typically I try to think of a private, quiet space, but I wonder if that contributes a little to the problem. Thank you!

 

1 hour ago, BK1110 said:

Welcome! Praying God strengthens you and restores the full joy of salvation to your heart and mind. May you love, obey, and trust Him fully! God Bless!

Amen! Thank you BK1110!

[kwikphilly]

Welcome to Worthy Colorful,I'm sorry-what is the question?You asked for prayer,you got it ....we do have a Prayer Request Forum,certainly you will get many more replies when posting prayer requests there....                                 God Bless,Kwik

[Colorful]

On 9/27/2017 at 1:25 PM, kwikphilly said:

Welcome to Worthy Colorful,I'm sorry-what is the question?You asked for prayer,you got it ....we do have a Prayer Request Forum,certainly you will get many more replies when posting prayer requests there....                                 God Bless,Kwik

Hello there Kwikphilly, it's a pleasure to meet you, and thank you! 

 I was wondering about advice for staying focussed better. Primarily on God, but for other, smaller areas of responsibilities as well. It can be hard for me at times to sit still for very long, and when I do, often times my mind can get distracted.