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Michael Cisneros

I think my marriage is failing and I don't know what to do anymore

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RED ALERT

My wife was arrested this Saturday morning for dwi.  Of course nothing I have said or done since has been anything she wants to hear.  I was able to bail her out same day.  I am at a complete loss.  On the one hand, i know she needs help.  On the other hand, she wouldn't even listen to me when I explained how to fill out her part of the bond agreement.  She refused to fill out all of the references until the bondsman told her she had to. I feel so lost, and powerless.

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Praying for you!

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16 hours ago, Michael Cisneros said:

RED ALERT

My wife was arrested this Saturday morning for dwi.  Of course nothing I have said or done since has been anything she wants to hear.  I was able to bail her out same day.  I am at a complete loss.  On the one hand, i know she needs help.  On the other hand, she wouldn't even listen to me when I explained how to fill out her part of the bond agreement.  She refused to fill out all of the references until the bondsman told her she had to. I feel so lost, and powerless.

I am posting this knowing it may seem like I do not understand, but I was married and I left due to his mistakes (we will just call what he was, a mistake).

I found it impossible to leave because at first, I refuse to see that there was any issue.  So he lied, big deal, I told myself.  He went for counseling so he must be fine now.

But the fact is, I started to lose my love for him, as he in his heart, never truly confessed to his sins, before man or God.

He wore me down until finally I found the courage, strength and ability (way) to leave.  I had no money, etc.  But it was time.

Are you ready to make that call?

I pray for you and your family, you will find the strength you need in this situation and stop ignoring the consequences, for not leaning on the Lord in this area of your life.

"

New American Standard Bible

Now I urge you, brethren, by our Lord Jesus Christ and by the love of the Spirit, to strive together with me in your prayers to God for me," Romans 15:30

Edited by eileenhat
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On 12/28/2017 at 2:24 PM, Michael Cisneros said:

Thank you everyone for your words of wisdom, and prayers.  Yes, I am a Christian.  My wife believes, but chooses not to practice her faith.  Alcohol is her vice, and it has gotten to the point that she would rather go negative in our bank account than to abstain. She curses God for her grandfather's battle lost to cancer.  We literally can't afford counseling due to recovery from Hurricane Harvey, and she has already lost her car to repossession.  I gave her mine to drive and got myself a hoopty from a family member just to get back and forth to work.  I know she loves me,  but I can't tell sometimes if she cares whether or not we make it.  If it only affected me, then so be it.  But we have two little boys to raise, and her decisions and actions are making it so difficult.  It is so exhausting, and so painful at times.

The last person I began to see, until 2011, developed alcoholism as well.

I gave him an herbal formula to help fight this disease, but he refused to take it.  He had no money and was hooked on anti-depressants.  They left him with little will power (and as we are just learning, atrophy the brain).  A friend was housing him and after my failed marriage, I decided to keep a healthy distance from him, until he decided whether to live or die, from his disease.

He's dead now.

 

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37 minutes ago, eileenhat said:

The last person I began to see, until 2011, developed alcoholism as well.

I gave him an herbal formula to help fight this disease, but he refused to take it.  He had no money and was hooked on anti-depressants.  They left him with little will power (and as we are just learning, atrophy the brain).  A friend was housing him and after my failed marriage, I decided to keep a healthy distance from him, until he decided whether to live or die, from his disease.

He's dead now.

 

I am so sorry for your loss.  I truly appreciate your sharing your experiences.  I know it must bring back some painful memories.

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5 hours ago, Michael Cisneros said:

I am so sorry for your loss.  I truly appreciate your sharing your experiences.  I know it must bring back some painful memories.

She is sharing that because this could happen to YOU. My suggestion is, call this number: (888) 425-2666, the Al-Anon help lineIt will help you not only to know how to handle your wife's behavior, but how to deal with your issues also. Addictions are an insidious form of illness, and they can and do end in death. Please read about the roles family plays in addiction. Since your wife is in legal trouble now, there is no time to lose. Praying!

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I am hurting really bad right now.  I just did the hardest thing I have ever had to do.  I just informed my wife that I filed for divorce.  I did not come to this decision lightly.  It is with a heavy broken heart that i do this.  I ask for prayers for her, for our children, and for myself.

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Praying

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I have been to two Al Anon classes now.  Already it has really helped me opened my eyes.  I now see how long I have been in denial about how bad things were getting, and for how long.  For anyone reading this who is also living with alcoholism in the family, please find an Al Anon group.  One day at a time, one step at a time, your healing can begin.  To everyone who has offered personal experiences, advice, and prayers.... thank you.  I am so grateful for all of you. God bless each and every one of you all.   

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