Soccer Practice Problem

[spiritual_girl]

HI yo'll,

before i start i just got to tell you that i'm not racism against anyone's race.

There are this new people on my street that just moved in a few months ago. & they are African American just to let you know cause its important later on.

& i was practicing my soccer to get my soccer skills back . So i was practicing outside & the new people were outside & playing with the other kids on the street palying basketball. So they have 3 kids = 1 girl that goes to high school 2 boys = 1 goes to high school & the other one goes to middle school.

So back to the story She was talking to her friends on the street where i live in her driveway they were siting in a circle just talking while i was practicing when the girl said "I like your hair" & i said " thanks" then she walk away from her friends that she was talking in a circle & she walked to the middle of the street & asked " can i play with you? " I though about it & i said " no, cause i'm practicing for soccer". So i went on back to practice & i heard her say " maybe its my color, This who American are." I was shocked! That was about a week ago. Then just last night i went go to practice cause i don't practice for a long time. Once i got outside i saw my Mom talking to the new people from our driveway. So i went in the grass & started to practice my flield goal kicking & this(African American) lady who lives next to the new people came up to me & said " how are you? " & I said " ok" then she asked "can i play with you?" & I said " no i'm practicing" then she asked '' can i help you practice? " & I said '' no cause i'm just going to do a few field goal kicks then i'm going in cause its going to turn into night soon. I guess that girl that just moved in told her about it.

I'm afraid everytime i go out to practice this will always happen. What should i do?

Edited April 18, 2005 by spiritual_girl

[other one]

Unless you really don't want to be a good neighbor, I'd find the time to kick the ball around with them. It's hard moving into a new neighborhood sometimes and it makes things easier to deal with if you can meet your neighbors and take the chance of becoming friends.

it sort of depends on your outlook toward them. Sounds like they just want to be friends to me with what little I can read here.

se

[paperflowers]

Unless you really don't want to be a good neighbor, I'd find the time to kick the ball around with them.  It's hard moving into a new neighborhood sometimes and it makes things easier to deal with if you can meet your neighbors and take the chance of becoming friends.

it sort of depends on your outlook toward them.  Sounds like they just want to be friends to me with what little I can read here.

se

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[paperflowers]

why do you NOT want to kick the ball with some new kids in the neighborhood?????? Is this team a white team only? God doesn't care what color your skin is. There are plenty of people who play soccer and their skin is not the same color as yours. Talk to the coach and ask him if you are being fair.

[Annette443pink]

If you honestly wouldn't have anyone involved while you practice then I'd offer to play later (at a specific time). It does make you look like you've got something against them whether it be color or not.

[DocHoliday]

Well, I guess I have to be the one to wear the dirty gloves here. Sis, I don't think that you should be obligated to anyone about this. You are busy practicing. Your answer should be sufficient. You are not being racist by that. And you should not have to feel the need to justify it.

Paperflowers. I encourage you to reread this post. She has made it very clear that her issue is not about her neighbors race. Rather, she is focussing on practicing. I understand about not wanting to be to stand offish to any new neighbor, but lets not play this reverse racism game that everyone is playing. If these new neighbors were white, (assuming that spiritual girl is white) I'm sure her answer would not change. And she shouldnt have to give special treatment to others simply because she doesnt want them to think that she is racist. And if these people assume that she is racist, simply because she turns down a request to play instead of practice, then these neighbors are the one's who are racist. They are the one's bringing it up.

In short spiritual girl, be friendly. But be friendly because you are a neighbor. And I know it sounds like you want to be. But if you have things to focus on, then focus on those things. And dont feel the need to give special treatment. This actually encourages racism. Everyone is equal, and we should all be treated the same. If you have something to do. Do it and don't worry about it. May God help you to know what should be done.

[Guest Bro David™]

    In short spiritual girl, be friendly. But be friendly because you are a neighbor. And I know it sounds like you want to be. But if you have things to focus on, then focus on those things. And dont feel the need to give special treatment. This actually encourages racism. Everyone is equal, and we should all be treated the same. If you have something to do. Do it and don't worry about it. May God help you to know what should be done. 

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Hi there,

Doc is right.

You are not being racist by refusing to play with them.

But,

People can't read minds. I suggest in the interest of love and being a better testimony walk over ring their door bell.

Sit down and talk get to know them better, invite the kids over to watch shows with you, play with you in other sports and/or games.

Slowly in your own time tell them the real reason for you not wanting to play with them.

I am sure God as a plan for you in their lives.

Why else would satan be trying to break communication in the beginning itself.

God bless you and I hope it all works out for the Glory of God in the end.

[DocHoliday]

When I moved to Moreno Valley Ca. I had a next door neighbor that I got off to a bad start with. I realized where I went wrong. And I prayed about it. This neighbor and I, (he not a believer) had grown into a very good neighbor relationship within the next year. We were very polite, friendly, and respecting towards one another. When I had gone down to get the last of my things, as I realized that I'd be now living in Nevada, he and I talked and said good bye. This man, father of two, married and non-believer gave me a hug. That to me is beautiful. God had done a work in our lives. And I sure pray and do believe that I impacted him and his family in some way.

I agree with the simple and loveable wisdom that bro david offers. Indeed, blessed are the peacemakers. We are to be people of peace. Just dont overdue it either sis. I woudnt bring it up unless it comes up. Be nice, be polite, like I originally said, "because you are neighbors". But don't overdue it. We can only do so much for righteousness before that righteousness becomes too much of ourselves, and we become a type of phoniness...

have we confused you yet lol... sorry just give it to God. And ask Him to work it all out. But don't worry too much about being perfectly "correct" in front of everyone. Trust in God's control of the situation, pray about it. And let Him and pray for, a natural friendship. One that is real and more than just mere smiles and hellos and Jesus Loves Yous... but without real meaing.

GBU

[Guest Bro David™]

When I moved to Moreno Valley Ca. I had a next door neighbor that I got off to a bad start with. I realized where I went wrong. And I prayed about it. This neighbor and I, (he not a believer) had grown into a very good neighbor relationship within the next year. We were very polite, friendly, and respecting towards one another. When I had gone down to get the last of my things, as I realized that I'd be now living in Nevada, he and I talked and said good bye. This man, father of two, married and non-believer gave me a hug. That to me is beautiful. God had done a work in our lives. And I sure pray and do believe that I impacted him and his family in some way.

I agree with the simple and loveable wisdom that bro david offers. Indeed, blessed are the peacemakers. We are to be people of peace. Just dont overdue it either sis. I woudnt bring it up unless it comes up. Be nice, be polite, like I originally said, "because you are neighbors". But don't overdue it. We can only do so much for righteousness before that righteousness becomes too much of ourselves, and we become a type of phoniness...

have we confused you yet      lol... sorry just give it to God. And ask Him to work it all out. But don't worry too much about being perfectly "correct" in front of everyone. Trust in God's control of the situation, pray about it. And let Him and pray for, a natural friendship. One that is real and more than just mere smiles and hellos and Jesus Loves Yous... but without real meaing.

GBU     

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Take it to the Lord in prayer.

Could not have said it any better/wiser.

God Bless

[Micah68]

Dear other one,

The Scripture says in Pr 18:24 "A man that hath friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother." It sounds to me from what you have written that this person only wanted to be friendly. From the conversations, if you reported them acurately, one can see that the other person initiated each conversation and you ended it. Race should not even be an issue here and it doesn't sound like it is anyway. The other person didn't make it an issue, why should you? Obviously they would like to play. What is so wrong about setting aside some time to play with them? Okay, take your practice time and then give them some time. Remember the golden rule? Treat others the way you would want to be treated. I don't think you would want to be brushed off if you were in the same situation. Give the person a break and play with them. And don't wait until they ask. Why don't you go over and ask them? We in the United States have forgotten what it is to be a good neighbor.