Chozen_23 Posted June 10, 2018 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 6 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 16 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 7 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/10/2018 Status: Offline Share Posted June 10, 2018 It's hard to stay married and keep the right mind frame in ministry especially if you have a difficult spouse. I thank God for a relationship with him because it's the only thing that keep me sane at times... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chozen_23 Posted June 10, 2018 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 6 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 16 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 7 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/10/2018 Status: Offline Author Share Posted June 10, 2018 (edited) I am the wife lol... and I will do that... sometimes I think he just don't care... I come last in his life period. True enough when it comes to ministry and that he has to work I understand that fully it's just at times I feel neglected. We might have spent about 30 mins are so together this week.. Edited June 10, 2018 by Chozen_23 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willa Posted June 11, 2018 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 68 Topic Count: 186 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 14,247 Content Per Day: 3.33 Reputation: 16,658 Days Won: 30 Joined: 08/14/2012 Status: Offline Share Posted June 11, 2018 I used to feel that way because my husband worked better than 72 hours a week. Â Then in a marriage conference I learned that men express love for their wives by working to provide for us. Â It gave me a new perspective and got me over my feelings of rejection. Â Â Â Your husband also needs your support by prayer for his ministry and protection from the evil one. Â All pastors need those prayers, and much more from their wives. Â Blessings, and prayers for your strength. Â My husband recently passed away so I am learning to allow God to fill those lonely moments. Â Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chozen_23 Posted June 11, 2018 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 6 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 16 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 7 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/10/2018 Status: Offline Author Share Posted June 11, 2018 I'm sorry for your lost I cant imagine how you are feelings. I understand that's one way he show his love but he has time to play games and be on his phone alot and plus he is only the youth pastor trust me when I say he has multiple chances to make and effort and he doesnt. I pray for him I do everyday I wake up with hope that today is going to be better than yesterday. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chozen_23 Posted June 11, 2018 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 6 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 16 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 7 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/10/2018 Status: Offline Author Share Posted June 11, 2018 We both are in ministry I am a minister and he is a minister and we both was in ministry when We got married ministry isn't the problem at all I will never complain nor stand in the way of his work when it comes to the Lord because I wouldn' want him to do that to me. That' not what I meant when I wrote the post what I meant was it' hard being married in ministry when you feel like you are married to yourself and feel unloved the loneliness because you have a partner who continues to break promises and makes little to no effort to make our relationship better. And it's nothing to do with ministry being a problem lack of commit while trying to work ministry is. WHILE working minitry you have to carry alot I love working ministry I just want to have a healthy relationship with my husband while doing so that' all.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAZARD Posted June 12, 2018 Group: Royal Member Followers: 11 Topic Count: 320 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 6,830 Content Per Day: 0.84 Reputation: 3,570 Days Won: 1 Joined: 02/16/2002 Status: Offline Share Posted June 12, 2018 (edited) 16 hours ago, Chozen_23 said: I'm sorry for your lost I cant imagine how you are feelings. I understand that's one way he show his love but he has time to play games and be on his phone alot and plus he is only the youth pastor trust me when I say he has multiple chances to make and effort and he doesnt. I pray for him I do everyday I wake up with hope that today is going to be better than yesterday. . Hi Chozen. If he has time to spend on the phone and to play games he has time and should make time for you. I have been married to my wife for 47 years and I know what I'm talking about. Spending unnecessary time with others and outside persuits is in fact cheating on you in no small way. Throw him a few hints; Ephesians 5:25, Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;Â Colossians 3:19, Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. Edited June 12, 2018 by HAZARD 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chozen_23 Posted June 12, 2018 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 6 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 16 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 7 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/10/2018 Status: Offline Author Share Posted June 12, 2018 Ive been having conversations with him about it for 2 years now... Now I can't even bring myself to bring up anymore... He is a good person he truly is and I love him Im just tired of feeling not valued and ignored. It make me feel like somethings wrong with me I try my best and beyond to be the best wife possible. I just feel like nothing I do is enough.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAZARD Posted June 12, 2018 Group: Royal Member Followers: 11 Topic Count: 320 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 6,830 Content Per Day: 0.84 Reputation: 3,570 Days Won: 1 Joined: 02/16/2002 Status: Offline Share Posted June 12, 2018 20 hours ago, Chozen_23 said: Ive been having conversations with him about it for 2 years now... Now I can't even bring myself to bring up anymore... He is a good person he truly is and I love him Im just tired of feeling not valued and ignored. It make me feel like somethings wrong with me I try my best and beyond to be the best wife possible. I just feel like nothing I do is enough.. He doesn't deserve a wife like you. Like I said, I have been married now for 47 years. I admit there was a time when I was much younger where I was selfish, working hard but doing my own thing in my free time and not spending time appreciating my wife as I should have and I was neglecting her. She was deeply hurt and after some time she decided to move in with her mother and father until I came to my senses. It didn't take me long to realise what a complete fool I was. I begged her to come home and promised to be the husband I said I would be at the alter when we were married before God. "I promise to love honor and cherish you until death do us part." I have kept that promise to this day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chozen_23 Posted June 12, 2018 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 6 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 16 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 7 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/10/2018 Status: Offline Author Share Posted June 12, 2018 Sometimes I really feel like he doesn' but everyday I wake up with hope and faith that today would be better than yesterday and now all I can do is pray and be the best wife I could possibly be. What hurt the most is when we are at church are around others he pUT up a front and act like he is the best husband ever and people are like you are so lucky to have such a great husband, but we can't even make it home before her convert back to how he really act. Its to a point now to he don' what me to comment are say anything about anything he just want things to go the way he want with no questioned ask and he leave me out of everything... all he want me to do is agree and it's so hurtful sometimes I feel like he dont care how much he hurt me are make me feel worthless... Ive never felt so low in my entire life... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marilyn C Posted June 13, 2018 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 30 Topic Count: 267 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 13,225 Content Per Day: 3.49 Reputation: 8,512 Days Won: 12 Joined: 12/21/2013 Status: Offline Birthday: 10/06/1947 Share Posted June 13, 2018 8 hours ago, Chozen_23 said: Sometimes I really feel like he doesn' but everyday I wake up with hope and faith that today would be better than yesterday and now all I can do is pray and be the best wife I could possibly be. What hurt the most is when we are at church are around others he pUT up a front and act like he is the best husband ever and people are like you are so lucky to have such a great husband, but we can't even make it home before her convert back to how he really act. Its to a point now to he don' what me to comment are say anything about anything he just want things to go the way he want with no questioned ask and he leave me out of everything... all he want me to do is agree and it's so hurtful sometimes I feel like he dont care how much he hurt me are make me feel worthless... Ive never felt so low in my entire life... Hi Chozen, I have had you on my heart all day as we have been travelling here in Australia. I am seeking the Lord as to what to share with you. I so feel for you, as how you are being treated is very hurtful. You are doing well, however, to not build up resentment. Though this may be pressed down into your heart. So....it is not right what your hubby is doing, but obviously he is not aware of how he comes across to you. I think he may see you as being - negative, not appreciating him etc etc. So he is immature and insensitive. No amount of nagging or even being nice will mature him. The only way for him to see his wrong behaviour is by the Holy Spirit as your husband develops maturity. Thus I believe you can help him in this. First I think as you seek the Lord, say for a word, a scripture to share with hubby, then leave it to the Lord to impress upon your hubby that meaning throughout the day. Over time if you share a scripture (from the Lord) your hubby will begin to see that it is from the Lord and appreciate that the Lord is speaking through you to him. Secondly....encourage your hubby with what you see of the Lord he is doing, saying etc... That shows him that you appreciate what God is doing through him. Thirdly, after a while ask you hubby to pray for a short time with you, once a week. Then over time increase that to a couple of times a week. What you are doing is encouraging your hubby to maturity. As he grows more mature he will be convicted of the Holy Spirit in relation to his attitude to you, plus the Lord will be showing him, through you, that He speaks words of encouragement and wisdom. all the best, and praying, Marilyn. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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