Sex before Marriage

[Guest XxCurvyxX]

Hey all,

I am currently having a youth alpha course at my church and they have asked me to help some young girls on the whole no sex before marriage and i was wondering if any of you had any ideas as to how i could put across to them Gods meanings and Gift of sex after marriage.

They are unlike 'normal' kids and come from rough backrounds on estates that only deal in drugs, sex, and booze! Some of the younsters here have come really far in knowing the Lord and i dont wish to frighten them off!

Any ideas would be most welcome, Also if any of you know of any good scriptures to use so they can ask questions in return to broaden their knowledge of Christ would deffinatly be appreciated!!

May God bless you all

Curvy x

[kittylover0991]

Hey, if you give me a couple of days, i have some pamplet things that i will just have to type up. I need to get them from the chest in my closet. I think it might just be better to send this to you through pm instead of on the boards. I am not sure about how to present this to them, but, my sunday school teacher did a year ago.

[Scarletprayers]

If the kids come from tough/troubled homes, maybe a good way would be to get across to them how precious their bodies are in God's eyes. Children from these type of homes usually have low self esteem problems.

Instead of pounding on them about how wrong God says it is, bring it to them in the light of how precious they are to God, and how their bodies are now a temple that is Holy and set aside for the Lords purpose!

God bless and help you with this!

[kittylover0991]

Amen, that is great idea.

[Smalcald]

The one thing I would add would be to take into account sexual abuse. I have done some work in this area and the young people I have worked with from tough situations have often been abused sexually (the numbers in our country of abused girls is astounding, regardless of their background). But if that has occurred they often think they have had sex, when in reality they have been abused and molested, they have not had sex. Often kids think that well I am not a virgin, what

[Guest XxCurvyxX]

Thanks everyone for their great advice!!

I will look up about it on the internet and see if there are books availible which can help me understand it better myself - but i think personally the main thing i have to do is pray to God for answers and direction

I do Have another queary tho - I have jus found out i am going to be an auntie which is fabulous news!! Tho the problem is shes my best friend and i will stick by her no matter what and my brother (who is the father) wants an abortion!

My best friend is a Christian in her own right and doesnt agree with abortions and neither do I - How can we explain to my brother she has rights to keep this child and that it is wrong to abort in the eyes of God?

Sorry i can be difficult sometimes - I just dont want to say the wrong things

Curvy x

[kittylover0991]

How about starting off by telling him how precious a baby is.. (is he saved?)

then go into how life is important to GOd

Edited June 19, 2005 by kittylover0991

[Smalcald]

Well there are many many arguments against abortion, and I am sure everyone here can make better arguments than I can. But sometimes it helps just to back up and remember that from conception on, you have a human life, anyone who has looked at an ultrasound simply can't deny that that little being is human, what else could it be an alien? Show your brother the development of a human being, it is a unique child of God from the moment of conception, there is no other creature like it in all of existence. In addition we know have studies showing that unborn children feel pain, just from an appeal to his basic sense of humanity to not torture this poor unborn child he may be persuaded.

I would find out why your brother wants an abortion for his child?

[Work in Progress]

Yes, as someone said, respect for yourself is a great thing to emphasize. A girl who freely gives it away doesn't think very highly of herself, so talking about their self worth to God would be great. If any of them have serious self esteem problems, they are at high risk. I would definately offer to be available for any that might want to come privately and speak with you about self esteem, and how to value themselves as a beautiful creation of God who deserves more than being used for her body by someone who doesn't really care about her and just wants to please himself. Warm them too, about the manipulative tactics of boys - they can know all the "right" things to say.

I hate to sound simple, but really - some girls just do not have the tools to know that they CAN , simply, say "no" to a boy. They think that, to be accepted, to be "loved", they can't say "no". They don't want to do it, but they go along, to be loved. Or what they think is love. They think it will bring them rejection if they stand up for themselves and say "no, I'm not into that right now." They need to be taught that that is the kind of rejection they want. Heaven forbid I sound like Dr. Phil (seriously ), but if they haven't been raised in an atmosphere of love and teaching, they don't know that they can be in control of their decisions, and that their sense of self comes from within. I know this from experience. And, unfortunately, most kids are not raised with this type of attention and teaching.

Talking about teenaged motherhood would be good too. Do you know of any teenaged mothers? Or adults who were once unwed, teenaged mothers that would be willing to speak with them, and witness that it's not all "now I have this adorable creature to love me" ? That can be a good tool.

Dobson's ministry has a great magazine for teens. They are bombarded with so much garbage - that would be a great resource. If any girl can't afford it, perhaps the church can help.

[Smalcald]

I think that is good, but what about the boys and men?

It should not be up to the women to say no all of the time, if a boy had any self respect for himself, he wouldn't ask a girl to sin in that way, to go against her values and God's values.

I think we spend far too much time talking to girls and women about this issue and ways to say no, and not nearly enough time talking to boys and men about the value of chastity and waiting for marriage, and their responsibility in saying no.