Why i left the church

[BeauJangles]

19 hours ago, Isaiah90 said:

Just thought i'd give reasons why i left church even though i’m still a practicing Christian. Here’s tons of reasons why i left.

Toxic community -  

Ignorance -

Pretentious behavior -

Immaturity -

Commercialization -

Christian women -

Hypocrisy - 

Legalism - 

Homophobia - 

Sexism - 

Racism -     

These are some of the reasons why i left the church. I now only associate with a few Christians who practice what they preach. 

For some reason when paring these down for editing, all I came up with were a lot of empty excuses. 

[BeauJangles]

14 minutes ago, maryjayne said:

Do you not think there are a number of toxic pseudo Christian church to avoid?

Looking for a Christian church can be a minefield.

Sure. Some of the easiest churches to avoid are like checking labels. If they're a little difficult to read, magnification only makes things look bigger than they actually are. 

[Isaiah90]

1 hour ago, GreyJay said:

I left the church for similar reasons in my 20's.

I've come back to it in my 30's because I've come to understand the importance of being the church instead of going to church.

I have to connect with a church now because I just need the support of Christians at this point in my life. We all have different gifts, we're meant to live life as a unit. We need each other. I'm not saying that every church is worth going to. I'm sure some are toxic and absolutely destructive to one another. I look for different things now than I used to, and I interact with the church now differently than I used to. A few points:

- First of all, what even is "the church?" That's kind of a big topic, but at this point in my life, if I said I was "leaving the Church," what that would mean is that I don't want any Christians to be part of my life anymore. I do attend a church on Sunday mornings now, and there are songs sung and sermons heard. There are people I like and don't like there, people I agree with and disagree with. But the people I regard as "my church" is a smaller group of people who get together during the week to just do life together in various ways.

- Hot tip from a Church leaver: look for Churches in low socio-economic areas. I made myself part of a salvation army church in a poor area for a few years. It was refreshing to serve alongside Christians who, really, just kept themselves too busy loving people in need to worry about squabbles with one another or the minutia of theology. They kept it simple, because they didn't have time for anything complicated, and it changed the way I thought about what "the church" is.

- God is in the business of reconciliation, the end of hostility among us, and unity of spirit and purpose between us. One of our main goals as Christians is to be His hands and feet in THAT purpose. I know, you tried that and failed. The example of Christ and our covenant with Him, though, is that He is faithful even when we are not. Believe me, I know that's a hard example to follow. But the rewards are freedom from hostility, forgiveness, a lifting of those burdens of rejection and resentment that weigh so heavily. In all you've posted, the greatest sense I get is pain, which is coming from a genuine desire to be connected to a group of truly loving Christians. Don't give up. That's out there for you, and it's worth pursuing. It's worth it.

Peace.

I realize being the church is more important than going to church. After studying the Scriptures a bit more, the church is actually in reference to the group of believers in Christ. It's about having fellowship with other Christians. It's not just about going to a building, shaking hands, and singing songs together.  

[johnthebaptist]

On 9/22/2019 at 10:47 AM, Isaiah90 said:

Just thought i'd give reasons why i left church even though i’m still a practicing Christian. Here’s tons of reasons why i left.

Toxic community - Most people who claim to be Christians aren’t real Christians. They sin behind closed doors committing incest, gossip, adultery, lying, stealing, and other sins. They also manipulate people and make them feel like they’re not good enough. They force people into believing their version of the Truth by threatening them with hellfire and brimstone. If anyone doesn’t agree with their lifestyle, they’ll call them heretics. They often use the Bible to brainwash people into accepting their lifestyles and beliefs. They don't care about living by what the Bible actually teaches. 

Ignorance - Most Christians don’t study the Bible as i learned. They don’t even read it. They just have their Bibles put on shelves to gather dust and only take them out on Sundays for church. They’d rather have the pastor read and interpret the Bible for them. As a result, most Christian authorities take advantage of that and mislead the people. From studying the Bible, i learned most of what Christians teach isn’t true. For example, i learned masturbation and homosexuality aren’t sins. When i teach the real truth about what the Bible actually says, i mostly get hate comments from Christians. Many get angry and upset with me because i told them the truth. They come up with excuses and often deny it.

Pretentious behavior - When i was a teen, i was annoyed at how adults often generalized and pretended to know me. The church would have games, food, drinks, etc. because they assumed i was into that as a teen. I came to church because i was serious about my faith. I wasn’t into joking around and playing games like other teens were. I also couldn’t stand how Christians were pretentious. They’d always try to act as if they had a point to prove in almost everything they did. Even when they said “Amen, God is good” or “yes Lord.” If you’re not that spiritual, don’t act like you are. I had one guy who did all that and lowkey admitted he wasn’t that spiritual.

Immaturity - I dislike the immaturity going on in churches today. Rather than actually focus on spirituality, people would rather focus on creating a pop Christian culture. Christians would make slogans to try to sound hip like “souled out”, t-shirts, their own genres, etc. They’d print t-shirts of their church and wear bandannas for the youth. I have no time for such foolishness that has nothing to do with Jesus lol. It’s sad that the Christian faith is being commercialized like that.

Commercialization - I dislike how Christianity is so commercialized. It’s very corrupt. People create tons of products such as crosses, necklaces, clothing, stickers, toys, games, devotionals, etc. I have a problem with most of it because it’s false advertising. Authors write books promising you that you’ll be blessed through their teachings or testimonies. It’s just for profits. Worse, some are even caught lying about their testimonies.

Christian women - Dating in the Christian community is horrible. I never had much luck dating Christian women because they’re so suppressed and pretentious. They’re very uncomfortable around their sexuality and affection in general. I can understand and respect not wanting to have sex before marriage, but not wanting to kiss too? That’s a bit too far even for me. They’re pretentious because they overspiritualize everything, including relationships. Many say they want to a man who brings them closer to Jesus and don’t express any desire for intimacy. It’s a turn off when a Christian woman doesn’t want to kiss, hug, flirt, etc. me and all she wants is to make it about Jesus. I value Jesus too, but i also value the relationship i have with a woman.

Hypocrisy - I hated the hypocrisy in church. They claim to believe in YHWH, but don’t believe in the Devil or spirits. They try to make the Bible into a philosophy or personal form of spirituality rather than talk about the supernatural. They claim they’re about loving and caring for people, but their actions show otherwise. They’d rather practice their faith behind closed doors rather than get involved in the world’s problems. I realized why so many people are turned off from Christianity. Its because they don’t see Christians living what they preach about. Where’s the Christian community’s support for black lives matter? Holocaust survivors? People living in poverty and homelessness? It does people no good if you do these missions campaigns, but don’t provide for their physical needs too.

Legalism - Many Christians are legalistic. They live by man-made rules. They don’t listen to worldly music, smoke, drink, curse, have pre-marital sex, go to bars, clubs, etc.

Homophobia - Many churches preach so much against homosexuality more than other sins. They have no solid basis for claiming homosexuality is a sin when you study the Scriptures. It all boils down to homophobia and toxic masculinity. In fact, one pastor in my local church told the congregation to vote against same-sex marriage being legalized in my state. 

Sexism - Sexism is very prevalent in churches. Women are seen as lesser than men based on flawed interpretations of the Scriptures. Many women are forbidden from teaching and preaching on the same level as the men. 

Racism - Racism is also very prevalent in the church. Whenever i'd go from church to church, i'd often see majority white or black churches. There was never a church that was all mixed. Christians masked racism well by depicting people in the Scriptures like Jesus as white. For centuries, whites have removed the middle eastern roots of the Scriptures because of prejudices against people of color. They westernized it on so many levels to where people think Christianity is "a white man's religion" when it isn't.      

These are some of the reasons why i left the church. I now only associate with a few Christians who practice what they preach. 

I think some people attend church and set an example for others to follow.

[johnthebaptist]

On 9/22/2019 at 10:47 AM, Isaiah90 said:

Just thought i'd give reasons why i left church even though i’m still a practicing Christian. Here’s tons of reasons why i left.

Toxic community - Most people who claim to be Christians aren’t real Christians. They sin behind closed doors committing incest, gossip, adultery, lying, stealing, and other sins. They also manipulate people and make them feel like they’re not good enough. They force people into believing their version of the Truth by threatening them with hellfire and brimstone. If anyone doesn’t agree with their lifestyle, they’ll call them heretics. They often use the Bible to brainwash people into accepting their lifestyles and beliefs. They don't care about living by what the Bible actually teaches. 

Ignorance - Most Christians don’t study the Bible as i learned. They don’t even read it. They just have their Bibles put on shelves to gather dust and only take them out on Sundays for church. They’d rather have the pastor read and interpret the Bible for them. As a result, most Christian authorities take advantage of that and mislead the people. From studying the Bible, i learned most of what Christians teach isn’t true. For example, i learned masturbation and homosexuality aren’t sins. When i teach the real truth about what the Bible actually says, i mostly get hate comments from Christians. Many get angry and upset with me because i told them the truth. They come up with excuses and often deny it.

Pretentious behavior - When i was a teen, i was annoyed at how adults often generalized and pretended to know me. The church would have games, food, drinks, etc. because they assumed i was into that as a teen. I came to church because i was serious about my faith. I wasn’t into joking around and playing games like other teens were. I also couldn’t stand how Christians were pretentious. They’d always try to act as if they had a point to prove in almost everything they did. Even when they said “Amen, God is good” or “yes Lord.” If you’re not that spiritual, don’t act like you are. I had one guy who did all that and lowkey admitted he wasn’t that spiritual.

Immaturity - I dislike the immaturity going on in churches today. Rather than actually focus on spirituality, people would rather focus on creating a pop Christian culture. Christians would make slogans to try to sound hip like “souled out”, t-shirts, their own genres, etc. They’d print t-shirts of their church and wear bandannas for the youth. I have no time for such foolishness that has nothing to do with Jesus lol. It’s sad that the Christian faith is being commercialized like that.

Commercialization - I dislike how Christianity is so commercialized. It’s very corrupt. People create tons of products such as crosses, necklaces, clothing, stickers, toys, games, devotionals, etc. I have a problem with most of it because it’s false advertising. Authors write books promising you that you’ll be blessed through their teachings or testimonies. It’s just for profits. Worse, some are even caught lying about their testimonies.

Christian women - Dating in the Christian community is horrible. I never had much luck dating Christian women because they’re so suppressed and pretentious. They’re very uncomfortable around their sexuality and affection in general. I can understand and respect not wanting to have sex before marriage, but not wanting to kiss too? That’s a bit too far even for me. They’re pretentious because they overspiritualize everything, including relationships. Many say they want to a man who brings them closer to Jesus and don’t express any desire for intimacy. It’s a turn off when a Christian woman doesn’t want to kiss, hug, flirt, etc. me and all she wants is to make it about Jesus. I value Jesus too, but i also value the relationship i have with a woman.

Hypocrisy - I hated the hypocrisy in church. They claim to believe in YHWH, but don’t believe in the Devil or spirits. They try to make the Bible into a philosophy or personal form of spirituality rather than talk about the supernatural. They claim they’re about loving and caring for people, but their actions show otherwise. They’d rather practice their faith behind closed doors rather than get involved in the world’s problems. I realized why so many people are turned off from Christianity. Its because they don’t see Christians living what they preach about. Where’s the Christian community’s support for black lives matter? Holocaust survivors? People living in poverty and homelessness? It does people no good if you do these missions campaigns, but don’t provide for their physical needs too.

Legalism - Many Christians are legalistic. They live by man-made rules. They don’t listen to worldly music, smoke, drink, curse, have pre-marital sex, go to bars, clubs, etc.

Homophobia - Many churches preach so much against homosexuality more than other sins. They have no solid basis for claiming homosexuality is a sin when you study the Scriptures. It all boils down to homophobia and toxic masculinity. In fact, one pastor in my local church told the congregation to vote against same-sex marriage being legalized in my state. 

Sexism - Sexism is very prevalent in churches. Women are seen as lesser than men based on flawed interpretations of the Scriptures. Many women are forbidden from teaching and preaching on the same level as the men. 

Racism - Racism is also very prevalent in the church. Whenever i'd go from church to church, i'd often see majority white or black churches. There was never a church that was all mixed. Christians masked racism well by depicting people in the Scriptures like Jesus as white. For centuries, whites have removed the middle eastern roots of the Scriptures because of prejudices against people of color. They westernized it on so many levels to where people think Christianity is "a white man's religion" when it isn't.      

These are some of the reasons why i left the church. I now only associate with a few Christians who practice what they preach. 

You say that “They have no solid basis for claiming homosexuality is a sin when you study the Scriptures.” It doesn’t get much more solid than this: 

You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination. Lev 18:22 RSV

[createdequal]

On ‎9‎/‎22‎/‎2019 at 10:47 AM, Isaiah90 said:

..Commercialization - I dislike how Christianity is so commercialized. It’s very corrupt. People create tons of products such as crosses, necklaces, clothing, stickers, toys, games, devotionals, etc. I have a problem with most of it because it’s false advertising. Authors write books promising you that you’ll be blessed through their teachings or testimonies. It’s just for profits. Worse, some are even caught lying about their testimonies..

homophobia - Many churches preach so much against homosexuality more than other sins. They have no solid basis for claiming homosexuality is a sin when you study the Scriptures. It all boils down to homophobia and toxic masculinity. In fact, one pastor in my local church told the congregation to vote against same-sex marriage being legalized in my state. 

 

you had me until you got to the part where homosexuality is not condemned in the Bible. IT MOST ASSUREDLY IS!

And fornication is an absolute disaster, morally. It cheapens marriage, cheapens the romantic thing... pretty ruins it if you were to ask me.  If Jesus said (and he did) that illicit marriage is illicit (gee, whoda thunk?) then my guess is fornication is worse.

It doesn't look like you have read the Bible. Either that or you are picking & choosing what to believe

Black Lives Matter just totally blew it when they spoke of "frying pigs [police officers] in blankets" or whatever it was.. The anti-cop thing did not pan out for that group which is probably why (thankfully) we do not hear from them much anymore. 

looks like maybe you have been brainwashed by the fake news folks... sigh.. it happens

 

 

Edited September 24, 2019 by createdequal

[createdequal]

On ‎9‎/‎22‎/‎2019 at 10:56 AM, Isaiah90 said:

25

we didn't even have to ask, did we?

sigh

[createdequal]

On ‎9‎/‎22‎/‎2019 at 12:01 PM, LadyKay said:

I feel this is part of what keeps some Christians in bondage.  They are told by their leaders that they must dress this way, or they must wear their hair a certain way. They must follow all these rules put on them by their leaders.  This shows me that the Word Of God  is meant  to set the Believer free! Free from the bondage that their leaders have put on them.  If they would read it and study it for themselves they would see this. They would be set free. 

 

Ironically, the Church often seen as strictest of all (true Catholicism) does not tell people how to dress at Mass. Well, one time a priest did make a commennt about how people come to Mass looking like they are headed to the beach.. but I don't recall him telling them not to dress like that, although it was implied.

dancing is OK with Catholics

drinking (not to excess but socially) is OK w/ Catholics

and swearing is not seen as an unforgivable sin. I wish I could say that about all the non-Catholic Christian societies out there

[createdequal]

On ‎9‎/‎22‎/‎2019 at 2:02 PM, DustyRoad said:

Many are leaving churches, @Isaiah90. You're definitely not the only one. If the Lord isn't in attendance what's the point?

Sexual immorality is, by far, mankind's biggest weakness. Men sin because they must; it's in their nature to do such things. It comes naturally, as normal as breathing. You're correct in observing the sexual immorality of those around you but I urge you not lose sight of your own. Criticizing others who fail to satisfy your urges and desires is unbecoming, Isaiah90. Out of your many criticisms this one stands to the exclusion of the rest. I hope you can see this. 

 

when does the desire for sex leave a person?

5 hours after death

(joke)

it left me a long time ago.. the world calls me weird but I don't want an urge that cannot be fulfilled and I think sex is HIGHLY over-rated anyway. People tend to get sex and love confused. To me they are total opposites (unless we are talking about a valid marriage).

[Blood Bought 1953]

 

“So maybe a definition of belief is needed.”

 

I will be happy to give it my best shot——and I will be talking about “Belief” in regard to our Faith.

Paul states if you BELIEVE that Jesus died for your sins and also BELIEVE that He rose from the dead- You will be saved ( 1Cor15:1-4 ) It is a Promise from Jesus.Jesus never lies.To Believe is to Trust.The best test to see if one actually believes what he claims to believe is this—Do you REST in this Promise? Do you have a peace of mind that comes with trust? Or are you  always fretting, worrying that you had better get a little bit of insurance .....just in case ?

It might be easier to describe what Belief  “I S    N O T” rather than honing in on what it  I S. 

If You keep one foot in the Gospel and the other foot in Law- just to be safe-you are not Believing

If you refuse to believe that “ God uses His Gospel to “Justify the UnGodly”- you are not Believing

If you never have a sense of “Assurance” or confidence  in your Walk-you are not Believing

If you are adding your “ Works” as a hedge just in case the Gospel  is not able to save by itself -you are not Believing

If you think all of your sins must be repented of Before you die-you are not Believing

If you think Obedience to the Law Of Moses has to be added to the Gospel Of Grace-you are not Believing

If you think you can lose your Salvation once you are saved-you are not Believing

If you believe Jesus is only after the “ elect”, you are listening to “ another Gospel”- you are not Believing.

If you do not follow everything BB 1953 says to do, you are not.........well, maybe not so much “ that” one...... but  I hope I have made things a little clearer ......

 

The next time you get an oil change for your car from you friendly neighbor auto mechanic, when he is finished, will you refuse to leave the garage until you check the dipstick and crawl underneath the car to make sure the oil plug and the oil filter are good and tight? Of course not! There is an unspoken Promise between the two of you and you have the “assurance” the “faith” and the certain, solid  BELIEF that the guy will have fulfilled his promise  to get you back on the road safely.He did the work and you have CONFIDENCE  as you race down the Interstate , cell- phone in hand, getting caught up on Facebook......lol......This is kinda like what “ belief” is.......an unshakable Confidence that God will be true to His Word.A Confidence That God will never lie about His Gospel plus Nothing.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited September 24, 2019 by Blood Bought 1953