Forgiveness and forgiving

[sapphire15]

I've been struggling over the issue of forgiveness and I wonder if this has been part of the reason I've been having health issues. 

From scripture my understanding is that we are to be forgiving of our brother and sister in Christ, but some say its anyone who has hurt us in the past or is hurting us in the present. 

 I feel paralysed and stuck on some major issues.    Could it be because I haven't resolved this issue of what it means to forgive.

I forgave one person for example but they want to meet up regularly and I just don't feel I can.   

It feels like I lose myself or am not really sure who I am in some relationships. 

Can anyone offer any help?? 

Thanks. 

 

Edited November 16, 2019 by sapphire15

[Tzephanyahu]

Shalom @sapphire15

Interesting. It sounds like the Holy Spirit is trying to get your attention, if you are feeling convicted or the need to dwell on this matter. Praise Yahweh - He teaches those He loves. 

Obviously, I don't know you, so it's difficult to give reasonable counsel. However, this "one person", have you truly forgiven them?  You don't need to meet up with them, but have you truly forgiven them? 

A good way to see if you do is to pray a blessing towards them now and ask Yahweh to forgive them - if appropriate (I have no idea what they have done). If you find it hard to do that, or you do so reluctantly, that's perhaps an indication of unforgiveness. 

But, may I ask three questions? 

1. Did something significant happen in your life at the time the illness started which might give you a clue? (you neednt give details) 

2. Have you forgiven yourself? 

3. Do you have a clear conscience at the moment, or is there something niggling in the background? 

Anyway, it's good news Sapphire.  For it sounds like He is refining you, as hard or confusing as it may be now.  So listen carefully to the Spirit and assess your life conceptually and allegorically to help understand the messages you are being taught. 

Love & Shalom 

[sapphire15]

Hi @Tzephanyahu,

thank you very much for replying. 

1. The illness began after I had just had a baby, with a husband where there were relationship difficulties. 

2. I'm not sure.

3. I think an unresolved issue or circumstances have affected all of us.   

 I became very concerned when I realised that someone had been following me from my past.

With thanks 

 

Ps i prayed for blessing on the other person.  There are others beside them. 

 

 

Edited November 16, 2019 by sapphire15

[Coliseum]

30 minutes ago, sapphire15 said:

I've been struggling over the issue of forgiveness and I wonder if this has been part of the reason I've been having health issues. 

From scripture my understanding is that we are to be forgiving of our brother and sister in Christ, but some say its anyone who has hurt us in the past or is hurting us in the present. 

 I feel paralysed and stuck on some major issues.    Could it be because I haven't resolved this issue of what it means to forgive.

I forgave one person for example but they want to meet up regularly and I just don't feel I can.   

It feels like I lose myself or am not really sure who I am in some relationships. 

Can anyone offer any help?? 

Thanks. 

 

Dear sister,

When someone hurts us or wrongs us, it is for our own benefit that we choose to forgive them so that we do not have to carry around any bitterness that many come to experience in their hearts. A man once asked a pastor for forgiveness, and the pastor said, "No. I cannot forgive you only. You must forgive me too.  We are both sinners." That is an excellent response. Jesus does not force us to forgive one another, but He forgave us when we hung him on the cross---not because he had to, but because he chose to out of his love for us. So, instead of carrying around bitterness or hard feelings against someone, we like Jesus, choose to forgive out of the love Jesus taught us to have by example. Unforgiveness is too great a burden for people to carry. 

Not everyone forgives at the same rate. It takes us time to work through it, but in the end, it is healthier to forgive than to hold onto it. God bless you.

[sapphire15]

Dear @Coliseum,

Thank you for your reply and that helpful illustration.

May God bless you

[Tzephanyahu]

@sapphire15, thanks for the reply also. 

1. I think this would be a wise area to pray within. When it's me, I ask the Holy Spirit to reveal the heart of the matter to me around such an event, and what I've done wrong. That can't hurt, if you haven't done so already. 

2. This took me the longest to do in my own life. But remember that Paul said that he didn't judge himself. Only He can judge you, so don't beat yourself up unnecessarily. Remember this too - any charge you can't forgive will be brought up for trial.  This will probably include our own charges against ourselves! So, try to understand your sins and faults, learn from them and forgive yourself. For if you cannot forgive yourself, how can you love your neighbour as yourself. Therefore, let your charges go and sin no more.  Easy as it sounds! 

3. I think I understand you, but not 100% sure, sorry :s

11 minutes ago, sapphire15 said:

I became very concerned when I realised that someone had been following me from my past.

Is the person still a concern for today? Is the threat real or is it more or a mental thing?  

Love & Shalom 

[sapphire15]

Hi @Tzephanyahu,

Thank you for your reply. 

1.   Yes shall pray. 

2.  Shall be praying again.   

3.  Yes, this has been a concern, not just for me, and my slowness of response and some confusion may not have helped.   I'm unsure of numbers. 

Thanks and may God bless you, 

Edited November 16, 2019 by sapphire15

[sapphire15]

Actually something has come to mind..... About forgiveness and repentance.    

Is it best to leave some issues in God's hands?   After all only He knows a person's potential.    

Sorry if I seem not to be clear. 

[Tzephanyahu]

41 minutes ago, sapphire15 said:

Actually something has come to mind..... About forgiveness and repentance.    

Praise Yahweh! 

41 minutes ago, sapphire15 said:

Is it best to leave some issues in God's hands?   After all only He knows a person's potential.   

What do you mean exactly? It's right to leave vengeance in His hands, but we have to forgive - seeing how much forgiveness we received. But maybe i have misunderstood you? 

Love & Shalom 

[sapphire15]

Thanks for your reply.  Yes, okay, I see what you are saying.    I forgive. 

That leaves me with a number of things in my own walk which have led to doubts.   I realise I need to pray through them again.