Problem with trust my husband

[Adorable80]

21 hours ago, missmuffet said:

Have you asked your husband why he does not work? What does he say?

Yeah i asked him.  He told me he want me go to work because he want stay home with kids.  I disagree with him.  I not trust him stay home alone with kids.  

[Adorable80]

On 2/4/2020 at 8:01 PM, LonerAndy said:

You need more help than I think you can find here.

I would talk to your parents, and his parents, I would talk to your church, and your pastor.  I would ask for wisdom, and pray that G-d will bring change, no matter how hard.

I would arrange to confront the husband.  I might even separate.   Separate does not mean divorce.  He is still your husband, but you need to make him face some consequences.   Unfortunately, letting this go on for 10 years, is not good.  It will be hard to make him see the problem, when he hasn't had to see the problem for 10 years.

You need help with other people.  His parents, his family, your parents, your church, your pastor.   Someone you can talk to about this problem.   Pray that G-d will lead you to someone who can give you wise counsel.

And be ready.  Because this had gone on for 10 years, this will not be easy to fix.  Be ready, that this will be 

but problem is that my kids want to stay with their dad if i leave then what I do?  

Edited February 6, 2020 by Adorable80

[Adorable80]

On 2/4/2020 at 3:12 PM, johnthebaptist said:

If someone is making you miserable, why not leave them? That, of course, doesn't give you permission to take up with someone else, unless your spouse is involved in unchaste behavior.

I know it's hard for me to leave him because my kids want stay with their dad.  

[missmuffet]

1 hour ago, Adorable80 said:

Yeah i asked him.  He told me he want me go to work because he want stay home with kids.  I disagree with him.  I not trust him stay home alone with kids.  

What is your concern for your husband watching your children? What would he do? He did not tell you why he does not go to work?

[missmuffet]

9 hours ago, LonerAndy said:

Since we already know that Jesus healed crippled people, and Peter and other apostles did so as well, I think it is both safe and obvious that Paul here is not talking about people who are incapable of working.   That would contradict many other areas of the Bible.

Clearly we're talking about any human being that *CAN* work, and yet chooses not to.   For example, any person standing on a street corner, has the ability to work.  If you can stand on a street corner and greet people who give you cash, then you can also stand at Walmart, and greet people getting groceries.

If you have the ability to work, and you make the choice not to, then you should starve.

http://www.nickvujicic.com/

Nick was born without limbs.  No arms, or legs.  He was able to get a degree, and using a computer was engaged in real-estate sales.

I knew a guy who had his legs cut off from a train accident.  He got a degree in electrical engineering and was working as an engineer.

Tom Brokaw wrote a book, the greatest generation, where a man came back from WW2, blind from war.  He got a law degree, and conducted law over the phone.  Most of his clients never knew he was blind.

We should have the lowest number of people living off the government and handouts, of any civilization that has ever existed.

There are many reasons a person is homeless. 

[LonerAndy]

12 hours ago, missmuffet said:

There are many reasons a person is homeless. 

And still fewer today than at any time in human history.

[LonerAndy]

14 hours ago, Adorable80 said:

but problem is that my kids want to stay with their dad if i leave then what I do?  

The hope is that you would separate long enough to reconnect with your husband.

As far as your children.  You are the parent.  Is this what is best for your children, to have a father that models laziness, and worthlessness?

In 10 years, what kind of upbringing do you want your children to have?   The kind where they got what they wanted, and ended up homeless?   Or the kind where sometimes they did not understand what you did, but ended up having a better home that modeled how to be successful?

[missmuffet]

1 hour ago, LonerAndy said:

And still fewer today than at any time in human history.

I think there are more today than in history. 

[Adorable80]

On 2/6/2020 at 12:08 AM, missmuffet said:

What is your concern for your husband watching your children? What would he do? He did not tell you why he does not go to work?

I know he not watch kids.  I had seen what he is doing so far.  He told me he want me go to work because he want to stay home.   I never heard of any husband want his wife go to work because he not want go to work.  That's mean he is not real man.  

[Adorable80]

21 hours ago, LonerAndy said:

The hope is that you would separate long enough to reconnect with your husband.

As far as your children.  You are the parent.  Is this what is best for your children, to have a father that models laziness, and worthlessness?

In 10 years, what kind of upbringing do you want your children to have?   The kind where they got what they wanted, and ended up homeless?   Or the kind where sometimes they did not understand what you did, but ended up having a better home that modeled how to be successful?

My kids are young as elementary age.  They not really understand.  They love their father  because he let them play games on computer lots so they like him.  Im concern that I not want child protection service blame on me being neglect on kids if I go to work when he stay alone with kids.  

Edited February 7, 2020 by Adorable80