Problem with a Neighbor

[Dawn1922]

Hi I am new to this site and could really use some Christian advice. 

I am having an issue with a neighbor. He plays his TV/video games really loud at night. He also bangs on the ceiling if I drop something (by accident) or if he hears a noise he doesn't like. I went down once to ask him to just turn it down just a little bit because I couldn't even hear my own TV. His reaction was to give me an incredulous look like he couldnt believe I had the nerve to say something.  I stood there expecting him to say something but he said nothing. I was not mean, I was polite and smiled. As I walked away, another neighbor was coming by and asked him is everything ok, he said something then shouted "SHE STOMPS!" and slammed the door. Now we live in an old building with creaky floors and thin walls. While I was upset that he couldn't tell me to my face that he had an issue with me, I took what he said and got carpet and tried to be mindful when walking into the sunken living room. Before the Quarantine, I wasn't home much and wasn't in my living room as much because I mostly stayed in the kitchen.  So, anything he did  didnt bother me because I wasnt home. However, since the quarantine has been in place, his frequency of banging and loud video games has increased.  I tried to document each time. I reached out to the landlord in April, who said well I'm not gonna do anything because of the quarantine. I asked to be moved to another apartment. The landlord said that the super has to hear the noises and the super has to deal with the issue. I was not happy with this solution but I acquiesced. I started walking in the evening since May which keeps me out of the house during the loud tv/video games hours. It has been good as I have lost some weight and I've enjoyed exploring the parks in my neighborhood. I have been forced to work from home until my office opens back up. Since we have opened up in the state, he has been quiet during the day but at night its been loud. There have been times where at night, if I sit on the couch quietly before he starts playing, the volume is at a reasonable level. But if I get up and leave the room and come back, the volume shoots up and stays up for the rest of the night. I called the super one night but the super never came up to listen but said he would reach out to the tenant. There have times the noise from my other neighbors causes him to bang on the ceiling while I literally was reading the Bible or just scrolling on my phone making no noise. I have been praying to God asking Him for help and guidance. At times, I feel like going downstairs to try to make him see reason and let him know that noise wasn't me or it was accidental. I do feel like the Lord has let me overhear some of his conversations where he is cursing and screaming or threatening violence. So because of this I am wary about approaching him and my previous interaction with him. I just feel like any attempt at reason is going to fall of deaf ears and because I confront him or send the super to him, I will have to deal with his rage and retaliation via loud tv/video games. I spoke with the landlord about the last incident and he basically sided with my neighbor saying that he has never had a noise complaint in ten years. So I feel alone in this battle. I don't want to break my lease and ruin my credit as I have 6 months left to my lease. I do not want to renew my lease in January but I dont want to be miserable for the next 6 months, especially with the unpredictability of the Coronavirus. 

Should I try to talk with my neighbor?

Should I write him a note asking him to keep it down?

 

 

**Update** 7/24/20 Thank you all for your responses. They were truly the Christian advice I needed. It is hard to do but i am praying for my neighbor. I haven't had to call the super yet as I have been out at night. But I will follow all your Godly advice and let the super and landlord deal with him. If anything changes, I will let youall know. Please keep me and this situation in your prayers.

Edited July 24, 2020 by Dawn1922
Provide update

[Willa]

Bless those who curse you, pray for those who spitefully use you.  Meanwhile start looking for another apartment and saving so you can put a deposit on it.  I would not confront him again.  No one seems to be supporting you in this so fighting it seems like a lost cause.  But do pray earnestly for his salvation.  He sounds like a very miserable person.  Forgive him.  

[Debp]

9 hours ago, Dawn1922 said:

Hi I am new to this site and could really use some Christian advice. 

I am having an issue with a neighbor. He plays his TV/video games really loud at night. He also bangs on the ceiling if I drop something (by accident) or if he hears a noise he doesn't like. I went down once to ask him to just turn it down just a little bit because I couldn't even hear my own TV. His reaction was to give me an incredulous look like he couldnt believe I had the nerve to say something.  I stood there expecting him to say something but he said nothing. I was not mean, I was polite and smiled. As I walked away, another neighbor was coming by and asked him is everything ok, he said something then shouted "SHE STOMPS!" and slammed the door. Now we live in an old building with creaky floors and thin walls. While I was upset that he couldn't tell me to my face that he had an issue with me, I took what he said and got carpet and tried to be mindful when walking into the sunken living room. Before the Quarantine, I wasn't home much and wasn't in my living room as much because I mostly stayed in the kitchen.  So, anything he did  didnt bother me because I wasnt home. However, since the quarantine has been in place, his frequency of banging and loud video games has increased.  I tried to document each time. I reached out to the landlord in April, who said well I'm not gonna do anything because of the quarantine. I asked to be moved to another apartment. The landlord said that the super has to hear the noises and the super has to deal with the issue. I was not happy with this solution but I acquiesced. I started walking in the evening since May which keeps me out of the house during the loud tv/video games hours. It has been good as I have lost some weight and I've enjoyed exploring the parks in my neighborhood. I have been forced to work from home until my office opens back up. Since we have opened up in the state, he has been quiet during the day but at night its been loud. There have been times where at night, if I sit on the couch quietly before he starts playing, the volume is at a reasonable level. But if I get up and leave the room and come back, the volume shoots up and stays up for the rest of the night. I called the super one night but the super never came up to listen but said he would reach out to the tenant. There have times the noise from my other neighbors causes him to bang on the ceiling while I literally was reading the Bible or just scrolling on my phone making no noise. I have been praying to God asking Him for help and guidance. At times, I feel like going downstairs to try to make him see reason and let him know that noise wasn't me or it was accidental. I do feel like the Lord has let me overhear some of his conversations where he is cursing and screaming or threatening violence. So because of this I am wary about approaching him and my previous interaction with him. I just feel like any attempt at reason is going to fall of deaf ears and because I confront him or send the super to him, I will have to deal with his rage and retaliation via loud tv/video games. I spoke with the landlord about the last incident and he basically sided with my neighbor saying that he has never had a noise complaint in ten years. So I feel alone in this battle. I don't want to break my lease and ruin my credit as I have 6 months left to my lease. I do not want to renew my lease in January but I dont want to be miserable for the next 6 months, especially with the unpredictability of the Coronavirus. 

Should I try to talk with my neighbor?

Should I write him a note asking him to keep it down?

 

Since you have heard him screaming and threatening violence, I would not bother him personally about the noise.

Instead it really is your Landlord's responsibility to handle this situation for you.   Since he said the Super needs to hear the noises, then ask when the Super is available to come to your place to listen.   If the Landlord says the Super doesn't work at night when the noises occur, can you record the noise?   Then play it for the Super later.

If your Landlord still does nothing, you might phone your local police department.   Explain the situation to them.  Your neighbor might be violating a city ordinance regarding disturbing the peace, especially noise after a certain hour.

Finally, if no one is rectifying this situation, you might ask legal aid if it is possible for you to legally break your lease.

If you don't feel comfortable with the above suggestions, what about using earphones to cancel out his noise?

If you do see him around the building, just be pleasant to him.   He does sound like an unhappy person.

[Who me]

10 hours ago, Dawn1922 said:

he is cursing and screaming or threatening violence.

Are there any cops or lawyers in your church who could come round to witness the level of noise and apply there weight to your complaint?

Here in the UK noisey neighbours are a problem and the council's have nose abatement teams who go out with measuring equipment to record nose levels and to enforce action to stop it.

Ask or check on line, also any sound engineers or recording enthusiasts at church who could provide a sound level check.

[appy]

With the Covid-19 situation in which people are being asked to stay home in some areas. There are going to be people that simply can not deal with “cabin fever” and become irritable and restless that result from being confined indoors for a period of time. Since many are not working due to the health crisis this may be the case for this neighbor. Having a noisy and irritable neighbor's in an apartment complex is very common. Neighbors are allowed to make some noise in their homes/ apartment, and landlords can only address the noise disturbances they have control over. Your landlord needs to come to your apartment while the excessive noise is occurring to access where it is coming from and whether it is something he or she is able to remedy. You need to write or email your complaint to your landlord so there is a paper trail showing that you have attempted to involve the landlord concerning your complaint. The paper trail may give you the ability to break your lease without having to pay a fee for breaking the lease.

If you decide to call the police, to file an excessive noise complaint. They need to be there while the noise is occurring otherwise, there isn't anything they can help you with. It is better to have your landlord or police talk with your neighbor than you, yourself confronting him.