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Wife may not be who I thought I married


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Hi all,  I have been married to my wife for about two years now and I am starting to have concerns about the kind of person my wife is.  I apologize if this is kind of long but I am not super comfortable taking this to any one I know irl yet. 

I would like to start off with my wife and I both attend a local Korean Baptist church.  I am a life long Christian and my wife told me she was born again when we first started dating  (about 3 years ago). Anyways,  my wife and I have been married for about 2 years and dated/engaged for 1 year prior. We met at an energy related conference. When I first saw her she knocked me through a loop. She looked gorgeous. She is unusually tall for an Asian woman (6'1"), long black hair,  deep dark eyes,  and amazing figure. When I first talked to her she was just so incredibly sweet and bubbly. There was just a sweet wholesome innocence and exuberance about her,  the best way to describe her was kawaii. I was super excited to find out that she was a Christian and we hit it off. Through the courtship and the first year and a half of our marriage things were absolutely perfect. That entire time she was very sweet, very good natured, and just a joy to be around. She is very very intelligent but there was always a naive innocence about her. Anyways within the last couple months I have been noticing that her bubbly good natured innocence may be an act and she may be a wolf in sheep's clothing. 

I had always thought that she was super moral but now I don't know. I don't know what I should do. 

 

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On 7/19/2020 at 3:43 AM, Ken C said:

had always thought that she was super moral but now I don't know. I don't know what I should d

Your first action is to talk to her about what ever incidents you have noticed.

It is very difficult to act consistently for five years, so talk to her in a non confrontational way.

If you are still worried talk to your pastor.

 

Before doing any of this look at yourself, are you sure this is something real?

Are you being overly critical, check that your standards have not become impossibly high.

Talk to your pastor about this as well.

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On 7/18/2020 at 10:43 PM, Ken C said:

Hi all,  I have been married to my wife for about two years now and I am starting to have concerns about the kind of person my wife is.  I apologize if this is kind of long but I am not super comfortable taking this to any one I know irl yet. 

I would like to start off with my wife and I both attend a local Korean Baptist church.  I am a life long Christian and my wife told me she was born again when we first started dating  (about 3 years ago). Anyways,  my wife and I have been married for about 2 years and dated/engaged for 1 year prior. We met at an energy related conference. When I first saw her she knocked me through a loop. She looked gorgeous. She is unusually tall for an Asian woman (6'1"), long black hair,  deep dark eyes,  and amazing figure. When I first talked to her she was just so incredibly sweet and bubbly. There was just a sweet wholesome innocence and exuberance about her,  the best way to describe her was kawaii. I was super excited to find out that she was a Christian and we hit it off. Through the courtship and the first year and a half of our marriage things were absolutely perfect. That entire time she was very sweet, very good natured, and just a joy to be around. She is very very intelligent but there was always a naive innocence about her. Anyways within the last couple months I have been noticing that her bubbly good natured innocence may be an act and she may be a wolf in sheep's clothing. 

I had always thought that she was super moral but now I don't know. I don't know what I should do. 

 

Follow Matthew 18:

 

1) Ask your wife if you can ease your mind by asking her some difficult questions.

 

2) If the answers are still problematic, follow the rules for discussion in Matthew 18

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On 7/18/2020 at 7:43 PM, Ken C said:

Hi all,  I have been married to my wife for about two years now and I am starting to have concerns about the kind of person my wife is.  I apologize if this is kind of long but I am not super comfortable taking this to any one I know irl yet. 

I would like to start off with my wife and I both attend a local Korean Baptist church.  I am a life long Christian and my wife told me she was born again when we first started dating  (about 3 years ago). Anyways,  my wife and I have been married for about 2 years and dated/engaged for 1 year prior. We met at an energy related conference. When I first saw her she knocked me through a loop. She looked gorgeous. She is unusually tall for an Asian woman (6'1"), long black hair,  deep dark eyes,  and amazing figure. When I first talked to her she was just so incredibly sweet and bubbly. There was just a sweet wholesome innocence and exuberance about her,  the best way to describe her was kawaii. I was super excited to find out that she was a Christian and we hit it off. Through the courtship and the first year and a half of our marriage things were absolutely perfect. That entire time she was very sweet, very good natured, and just a joy to be around. She is very very intelligent but there was always a naive innocence about her. Anyways within the last couple months I have been noticing that her bubbly good natured innocence may be an act and she may be a wolf in sheep's clothing. 

I had always thought that she was super moral but now I don't know. I don't know what I should do. 

 

It sounds like you were most impressed with her outward looks. It also sounds like she is not the person you thought she was. Some people are very good at disguising who they really are. Were you able to spend much time with her before you married? First of all you need to pray and give this to God. Have you sat down and told her your concerns? Be honest. 

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It happens as always n we are told to forgive n pray.

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Wife may not be who I thought I married

Yeah. Unfortunately, most of the man marries the woman that they fancy in their mind (and not who she is), e vice-versa. Anyway, try to know, in Christ Jesus, who is your spouse, be grateful for him/her and be happy making together Jesus' will.

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