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Am I a pedophile?

swampconcept
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swampconcept

swampconcept

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Posted

Ok, here goes.

Always wanted to talk about this in my real life, face to face, but I'm scared to do so, hence why I am here.

So I have been struggling with this for quite some time, about 15 years now. I am still living at home with my mom, step-father passed a few years ago, so I am very close to the former. Got a few best friends in my life, however I have never discussed this with them as I am afraid of how they will react. It started when I was in my teenage years and continued from there. When I was around 13, 14 I developed a minor attraction to children. At the beginning I didn't think much of it, thinking it would go away, but as the years went by, these urges became much more. I initially repressed the feelings and asked god to take away, and I thought he had. When I grew older, the people I was attracted to stayed the same age. I always wanted to find a group for support, but there aren't any, and I can understand why. We are the most hated in all of society. I have never acted upon my attraction, nor will I ever. And I have never done anything illegal and don't plan to. Am I a peadophile? I obey the laws and respect and agree with society's position on it, and those sort of people. I was meant to go to a therapist about this, but in the end I backed out and never went due to the fear of being reported. Is there any way for this to go away? I am not afraid of commiting any crime, as I have controlled myself for so long. I consider myself a good Christian, and regulary go to church. Why is this happening to me? If there is hate replies, I understand why. Is there any type of counseling that one can go to where I remain anonymous, and I can get treated for this mental disorder?

other one

other one

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Posted

this is a really touchy subject that you will get many opinions here I would bet..

Prayer would be my first suggestion.   Beyond that I think the discussion would get way do personal and graphic to discuss in this kind of forum.

My second and only other suggestion would be to research and get references for a Christian Councilor and have them assist you in any changes possible.   But choose wisely for if you do choose the wrong one they can really mess your life up.  Spiritually, physically and Legally...  

I would hope in my heart that if you took it to the Lord in a serious prayer and explained to him that you hate that about yourself he would either change it or overlook it as long as you keep control of it....   But,  hey,   I'm just a 73 year old guy that's been married to the same real lady for 50 years... 

Are you a pedophile...   I guess technically that would be a yes...      but we are all something.   But the consequences of you acting on your urges would cause you a lot more trouble than those accepted legally in the US such as adultery...    and Jesus warns us all not to lust after whatever drives us...   and that's just as hard for me as it is for you pretty much. Don't put yourself in positions to dwell on it...  and I think that would be good advice for us both.

But changing the internal drives in your mind is a very tricky thing and I don't know if anyone here at worthy would be qualified to help you do that safely.

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Posted
1 hour ago, swampconcept said:

I consider myself a good Christian, and regularly go to church.

Just another thought would be exactly what is a good Christian..     Have you confessed with your mouth Jesus is Lord and do you believe the Father raised him from the grave....     and I guess was/is that confession the truth...    is he your Lord?

I ask because for the first 35 or so years of my life I thought I was a christian, but it wasn't until I was about 35 that I realized I really had not let him be my Lord about everything and was having a huge problem with the devil...  it wasn't until i really learned that I could not handle everything myself that I finally understood and gave it all over to him..    Good, bad, or indifferent I am his...   I do my best and if he wants me around in the end I'll be there...   if he doesn't...   oh well, we don't need to eve think about that.

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