Rejection

[Starise]

The word tells us rejection will be a part of the Christian walk where it pertains to those who are in the world who either don't understand or have no interest in the things of the Lord. We will be rejected by those people. Sometimes the rejection is very up front, while other times rejection is more subtle.

Actually a more accurate way of saying this would be to say it the way the bible says it, where it's simply called persecution. Persecution can come in many forms rejection being one. To be persecuted is to be rejected in some way, but often I think we don't see persecution as rejection.

Maybe this is because rejection happens to everyone in many places. Not only to Christians. In the US rejection has more of a social connotation.Maybe close to being shunned, ignored or similar. Some here have paid a material price in loosing jobs and belongings because they were rejected based on their faith. Usually when people are rejected those opposed to them distance themselves from them. In society those rejected are often the minority and opposed to popular public opinion. The opposing opinion is then demonized making anyone who disagrees with the majority view to be less than as a person or not a thinking person. Pick any description that dumbs a person down and makes them seem as if they are less human or unintelligent for some reason. It gets to the point where people are saying, " How dare they think like that!!" or " How dare they hold such a view!!" There should be a law against that thinking...and trust me, they are working on that.

On one hand we are told everyone is entitled to an opinion. We live in a free country.  In reality we will pay a price if our opinion doesn't line up with the most popular opinions. Even if we can offer educated answers against what we see to be inaccurate thoughts, all of our answers are shot down in favor of the most accepted answers factual or not.

What surprises me the most are the snubs often coming from the Christian community sometimes toward other Christians. I have become accustomed to this kind of gentle " we don't want anything to do with you" mentality. I sometimes grow tired of extending my generosity only to have it spit at by people trying to make excuses. These people can be anywhere else, but all of a sudden when you invite them thinking maybe you'll make a new friend, they have a convenient excuse to bow out of it. My feeling then is, That's ok. If you felt that way I didn't want you to come over anyways. I won't grovel to some stuck up person who doesn't want to make friends. Go have fun with the other snoots you know.( Sorry, I know that's strong language but no one knows the lengths some of us go to to make things nice for people who really don't care).

That last few sentences I know were slightly off for a believer and not the right attitude to have as we are to love our enemies, who I guess is anyone who doesn't like us? It is probably the most kid glove kind of rejection a person can have. To have people you wanted to make friends with pretty much blow you off every time you reach out to them. Who knows? Maybe they really are that busy. No time to make new friends. 

TBH, it really isn't in my personality to reach out, so when I do it takes great effort. It isn't that I don't like people, it's because my personality is pretty private. This is what makes things doubly bad when I occasionally DO reach out to be snubbed in a polite way.

And I'm sure we could all go on whining about all the times someone let us down. We could probably have a 100 page thread on it. That wasn't my purpose. I wanted to discuss the ways maybe you have seen persecution affect you at the work place, by family, by the world at large. 

Sometimes it's very subtle like being passed over for a promotion. Other times it seems to be more apparent. If a believer is in the world there is usually a "them" and  an "us" or a "you" and a "them".

 

Edited September 12, 2022 by Starise

[Michael37]

13 hours ago, Starise said:

The word tells us rejection will be a part of the Christian walk where it pertains to those who are in the world who either don't understand or have no interest in the things of the Lord. We will be rejected by those people. Sometimes the rejection is very up front, while other times rejection is more subtle.

Actually a more accurate way of saying this would be to say it the way the bible says it, where it's simply called persecution. Persecution can come in many forms rejection being one. To be persecuted is to be rejected in some way, but often I think we don't see persecution as rejection.

Maybe this is because rejection happens to everyone in many places. Not only to Christians. In the US rejection has more of a social connotation.Maybe close to being shunned, ignored or similar. Some here have paid a material price in loosing jobs and belongings because they were rejected based on their faith. Usually when people are rejected those opposed to them distance themselves from them. In society those rejected are often the minority and opposed to popular public opinion. The opposing opinion is then demonized making anyone who disagrees with the majority view to be less than as a person or not a thinking person. Pick any description that dumbs a person down and makes them seem as if they are less human or unintelligent for some reason. It gets to the point where people are saying, " How dare they think like that!!" or " How dare they hold such a view!!" There should be a law against that thinking...and trust me, they are working on that.

On one hand we are told everyone is entitled to an opinion. We live in a free country.  In reality we will pay a price if our opinion doesn't line up with the most popular opinions. Even if we can offer educated answers against what we see to be inaccurate thoughts, all of our answers are shot down in favor of the most accepted answers factual or not.

What surprises me the most are the snubs often coming from the Christian community sometimes toward other Christians. I have become accustomed to this kind of gentle " we don't want anything to do with you" mentality. I sometimes grow tired of extending my generosity only to have it spit at by people trying to make excuses. These people can be anywhere else, but all of a sudden when you invite them thinking maybe you'll make a new friend, they have a convenient excuse to bow out of it. My feeling then is, That's ok. If you felt that way I didn't want you to come over anyways. I won't grovel to some stuck up person who doesn't want to make friends. Go have fun with the other snoots you know.( Sorry, I know that's strong language but no one knows the lengths some of us go to to make things nice for people who really don't care).

That last few sentences I know were slightly off for a believer and not the right attitude to have as we are to love our enemies, who I guess is anyone who doesn't like us? It is probably the most kid glove kind of rejection a person can have. To have people you wanted to make friends with pretty much blow you off every time you reach out to them. Who knows? Maybe they really are that busy. No time to make new friends. 

TBH, it really isn't in my personality to reach out, so when I do it takes great effort. It isn't that I don't like people, it's because my personality is pretty private. This is what makes things doubly bad when I occasionally DO reach out to be snubbed in a polite way.

And I'm sure we could all go on whining about all the times someone let us down. We could probably have a 100 page thread on it. That wasn't my purpose. I wanted to discuss the ways maybe you have seen persecution affect you at the work place, by family, by the world at large. 

Sometimes it's very subtle like being passed over for a promotion. Other times it seems to be more apparent. If a believer is in the world there is usually a "them" and  an "us" or a "you" and a "them".

Good topic to discuss @Starise

For me rejection is a fiery dart from the enemy so I quench it with the shield of faith before it inflames me mentally, socially, and spiritually. That is not to say it isn't a struggle. It is indeed most truly as Scripture says, a struggle against satanic principalities, powers, rulers. and spiritual wickedness.

I came across a really helpful study a few years ago that pointed out the error of "spiritual masochism" in which the faithful subject themselves to unpleasant or trying experiences in the belief that humiliation and mistreatment are essential to their spiritual growth.

Making derisive comments is considered fun by some people but I make a conscious effort to distance myself from toxic cultures that promote any sort of rejection as a kind of sport.   

[JohnR7]

14 hours ago, Starise said:

The word tells us rejection will be a part of the Christian walk

They do not reject us, they reject our meddling in their life and in their beliefs. Science tells us that most people have a subjective reality, and they simply do not want to be objective. My grandfather was mayor for 22 years, so my mom raised us to get along with people. She would teach us to be like a duck and let the water run off our back. There is no reason to get offended. If you can not say something nice, then don't say anything at all. 

In the love chapter of 1 Corinthians 13.5 Paul tells us:

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no account of wrongs. 

People can be immature, but love overlooks that. 

[Starise]

4 hours ago, Michael37 said:

For me rejection is a fiery dart from the enemy so I quench it with the shield of faith before it inflames me mentally, socially, and spiritually. That is not to say it isn't a struggle. It is indeed most truly as Scripture says, a struggle against satanic principalities, powers, rulers. and spiritual wickedness.

Thanks for the reminder that the battle is really one fought in the invisible, though no less real, plane. Yet in almost every case this involves people.

I believe at least part of winning the battle is to see what the devil is attempting to achieve. He knows we are social beings, even those of us who don't like big crowds or too many people at once. He knows we all would much rather be liked and have friends than the other way around. I haven't met one person yet who likes to be hated. In the case of believers, its usually because of what we believe or what we stand for to someone else. The rest of it is all of that petty little stuff people who think they are working the social ladder are up to. At least some of that comes from an inferiority complex. I say this because some people view other people as important people and having them as a friend makes THEM feel more important. They also view other people as less important and so they aren't as keen to befriend them.

The bible says this about that-

Luke 11:43

“Woe to you Pharisees, because you love the most important seats in the synagogues and respectful greetings in the marketplaces.

Acts 10:34, 35

³⁴ Then Peter began to speak: “I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism ³⁵ but accepts from every nation the one who fears him and does what is right.

James 2:1-11

 

2 My brothers and sisters, believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ must not show favoritism. ² Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in filthy old clothes also comes in. ³ If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, “Here’s a good seat for you,” but say to the poor man, “You stand there” or “Sit on the floor by my feet,” ⁴ have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?

⁵ Listen, my dear brothers and sisters: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him? ⁶ But you have dishonored the poor. Is it not the rich who are exploiting you? Are they not the ones who are dragging you into court? ⁷ Are they not the ones who are blaspheming the noble name of him to whom you belong?

⁸ If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, “Love your neighbor as yourself,”^[a] you are doing right. ⁹ But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers. ¹⁰ For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it. ¹¹ For he who said, “You shall not commit adultery,”^[b] also said, “You shall not murder.”^[c] If you do not commit adultery but do commit murder, you have become a lawbreaker.

I am sad to say I see this in my own church congregation.Not in a big way, but it's there.

Rejection  happens in Christian circles to this very day. Should I ignore I see it? I will not. I won't make light of it. I will only acknowledge to myself that this is still VERY apparent.

 

[Starise]

3 hours ago, JohnR7 said:

They do not reject us, they reject our meddling in their life and in their beliefs. Science tells us that most people have a subjective reality, and they simply do not want to be objective. My grandfather was mayor for 22 years, so my mom raised us to get along with people. She would teach us to be like a duck and let the water run off our back. There is no reason to get offended. If you can not say something nice, then don't say anything at all. 

In the love chapter of 1 Corinthians 13.5 Paul tells us:

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no account of wrongs. 

People can be immature, but love overlooks that. 

@JohnR7,I am assuming you are referring to those who don't claim to be believers. 

Yes, we are to love even our enemies. I have noticed that most people are socially subdued and keep their thoughts to themselves so as not to be seen as a trouble maker. They just want to quietly play along and get along. Anyone who says anything seen as negative is often seen as bad.

We recently had a sermon at my church about complaining. This sermon used passages in Exodus which tell the story of  Israel in the wilderness being led by Moses to the promised land. The text used was when they complained there wasn't anything to eat and they were concerned they were going to go hungry, when alas God provided manna from heaven, some say it was angel food. Whatever it was they could eat it and it sustained them. They eventually began to complain they were tired of manna and wanted McDonalds hamburgers instead ( ok I made that last part up).

I have to admit the thought ran through my head that some might confuse legitimate issues that need to be addressed with the negativity associated with complaining. Of course, concerns should always be approached with wisdom, and to be fair, often wisdom does overlook some matters because we are all human and we all do dumb things. Even God Almighty addressed the complaints of the people through Moses. Yet people who admit the emperor has no clothes are often rejected by church bodies and seen as trouble. 

I was tempted to give concrete examples of situations that frustrated me to no end. Why am I holding back? Because I don't want to be seen as trouble. I mean if you really want an example, I'm game but no names will be given as this isn't to attack people, just to show how these things can happen sometimes. Even a nameless example makes me feel guilty, but I can't help the way I feel. Insults and slights don't always just go away immediately.

 

Edited September 13, 2022 by Starise

[DPMartin]

20 hours ago, Starise said:

The word tells us rejection will be a part of the Christian walk where it pertains to those who are in the world who either don't understand or have no interest in the things of the Lord. We will be rejected by those people. Sometimes the rejection is very up front, while other times rejection is more subtle.

Actually a more accurate way of saying this would be to say it the way the bible says it, where it's simply called persecution. Persecution can come in many forms rejection being one. To be persecuted is to be rejected in some way, but often I think we don't see persecution as rejection.

Maybe this is because rejection happens to everyone in many places. Not only to Christians. In the US rejection has more of a social connotation.Maybe close to being shunned, ignored or similar. Some here have paid a material price in loosing jobs and belongings because they were rejected based on their faith. Usually when people are rejected those opposed to them distance themselves from them. In society those rejected are often the minority and opposed to popular public opinion. The opposing opinion is then demonized making anyone who disagrees with the majority view to be less than as a person or not a thinking person. Pick any description that dumbs a person down and makes them seem as if they are less human or unintelligent for some reason. It gets to the point where people are saying, " How dare they think like that!!" or " How dare they hold such a view!!" There should be a law against that thinking...and trust me, they are working on that.

On one hand we are told everyone is entitled to an opinion. We live in a free country.  In reality we will pay a price if our opinion doesn't line up with the most popular opinions. Even if we can offer educated answers against what we see to be inaccurate thoughts, all of our answers are shot down in favor of the most accepted answers factual or not.

What surprises me the most are the snubs often coming from the Christian community sometimes toward other Christians. I have become accustomed to this kind of gentle " we don't want anything to do with you" mentality. I sometimes grow tired of extending my generosity only to have it spit at by people trying to make excuses. These people can be anywhere else, but all of a sudden when you invite them thinking maybe you'll make a new friend, they have a convenient excuse to bow out of it. My feeling then is, That's ok. If you felt that way I didn't want you to come over anyways. I won't grovel to some stuck up person who doesn't want to make friends. Go have fun with the other snoots you know.( Sorry, I know that's strong language but no one knows the lengths some of us go to to make things nice for people who really don't care).

That last few sentences I know were slightly off for a believer and not the right attitude to have as we are to love our enemies, who I guess is anyone who doesn't like us? It is probably the most kid glove kind of rejection a person can have. To have people you wanted to make friends with pretty much blow you off every time you reach out to them. Who knows? Maybe they really are that busy. No time to make new friends. 

TBH, it really isn't in my personality to reach out, so when I do it takes great effort. It isn't that I don't like people, it's because my personality is pretty private. This is what makes things doubly bad when I occasionally DO reach out to be snubbed in a polite way.

And I'm sure we could all go on whining about all the times someone let us down. We could probably have a 100 page thread on it. That wasn't my purpose. I wanted to discuss the ways maybe you have seen persecution affect you at the work place, by family, by the world at large. 

Sometimes it's very subtle like being passed over for a promotion. Other times it seems to be more apparent. If a believer is in the world there is usually a "them" and  an "us" or a "you" and a "them".

 

Is there some law that requires people to respond to you in some kind of positive manor? Are you entitled an expected response because you were a nice guy? And “entitled an opinion” only means the people agree using law of the land to express that agreement that one shouldn’t go to jail for saying what they want to say. But that doesn’t mean anyone is required to care about or respect your opinion, or that you even have one.  People can like you or dislike you for any reason they want. even God favors some over others for His reasons.

During chairman moa’s reign you were not allowed by law, that was strictly enforced, to express an opinion, especially if it was on religion, unless it was in agreement with his. You’re not entitled, its only agreed that the members of the group or nation can or can’t do. The only thing entitled in God’s creation is the fulfillment of God’s Word.

 

when Jesus walked with the Jews, He was entitled worship. what was it that you might think you might be entitled?

Edited September 13, 2022 by DPMartin

[missmuffet]

21 hours ago, Starise said:

The word tells us rejection will be a part of the Christian walk where it pertains to those who are in the world who either don't understand or have no interest in the things of the Lord. We will be rejected by those people. Sometimes the rejection is very up front, while other times rejection is more subtle.

Actually a more accurate way of saying this would be to say it the way the bible says it, where it's simply called persecution. Persecution can come in many forms rejection being one. To be persecuted is to be rejected in some way, but often I think we don't see persecution as rejection.

Maybe this is because rejection happens to everyone in many places. Not only to Christians. In the US rejection has more of a social connotation.Maybe close to being shunned, ignored or similar. Some here have paid a material price in loosing jobs and belongings because they were rejected based on their faith. Usually when people are rejected those opposed to them distance themselves from them. In society those rejected are often the minority and opposed to popular public opinion. The opposing opinion is then demonized making anyone who disagrees with the majority view to be less than as a person or not a thinking person. Pick any description that dumbs a person down and makes them seem as if they are less human or unintelligent for some reason. It gets to the point where people are saying, " How dare they think like that!!" or " How dare they hold such a view!!" There should be a law against that thinking...and trust me, they are working on that.

On one hand we are told everyone is entitled to an opinion. We live in a free country.  In reality we will pay a price if our opinion doesn't line up with the most popular opinions. Even if we can offer educated answers against what we see to be inaccurate thoughts, all of our answers are shot down in favor of the most accepted answers factual or not.

What surprises me the most are the snubs often coming from the Christian community sometimes toward other Christians. I have become accustomed to this kind of gentle " we don't want anything to do with you" mentality. I sometimes grow tired of extending my generosity only to have it spit at by people trying to make excuses. These people can be anywhere else, but all of a sudden when you invite them thinking maybe you'll make a new friend, they have a convenient excuse to bow out of it. My feeling then is, That's ok. If you felt that way I didn't want you to come over anyways. I won't grovel to some stuck up person who doesn't want to make friends. Go have fun with the other snoots you know.( Sorry, I know that's strong language but no one knows the lengths some of us go to to make things nice for people who really don't care).

That last few sentences I know were slightly off for a believer and not the right attitude to have as we are to love our enemies, who I guess is anyone who doesn't like us? It is probably the most kid glove kind of rejection a person can have. To have people you wanted to make friends with pretty much blow you off every time you reach out to them. Who knows? Maybe they really are that busy. No time to make new friends. 

TBH, it really isn't in my personality to reach out, so when I do it takes great effort. It isn't that I don't like people, it's because my personality is pretty private. This is what makes things doubly bad when I occasionally DO reach out to be snubbed in a polite way.

And I'm sure we could all go on whining about all the times someone let us down. We could probably have a 100 page thread on it. That wasn't my purpose. I wanted to discuss the ways maybe you have seen persecution affect you at the work place, by family, by the world at large. 

Sometimes it's very subtle like being passed over for a promotion. Other times it seems to be more apparent. If a believer is in the world there is usually a "them" and  an "us" or a "you" and a "them".

 

As believers we are not defined by our past failures or by disappointment or by the rejection of others. We are defined as children of God, born again to newness of life and endowed with every spiritual blessing and accepted in Christ Jesus.

Matthew 10:22

And you will be hated by all for My name’s sake. But he who endures to the end will be saved.

Edited September 13, 2022 by missmuffet

[MissTury]

I would just add, that rejection is one thing, and persecution is something very different. Persecution is of course a kind of rejection, but not all rejection seems like persecution. The cost is higher for one than for the other, but devout Christians should be [in my opinion] willing to endure both. Unlike Jehovah's Witnesses, who have told me that having the door closed in there face is persecution, I think persecution tends to be physically dangerous, at least it sure looks that way to me in the new Testament.

Looking up a word for it in Helps Word Studies, I read -

HELPS Word-studies

Cognate: 1375 diōgmós (from 1377 /diṓkō, "follow, pursue") – properly, pursuit (chase); persecution – literally, "the hunt to bring someone down like an animal," trying to suppress (punish) their convictions. See 1377 (diōkō).

1375 /diōgmós ("religious persecution") literally refers to those seeking to punish God's messengers with a vengeance – like a hunter trying to conquer (obliterate) someone as their "catch."

[1375 (diōgmós) is used in ancient and biblical Greek for persecution (hostility) shown by confused, spiritual "leaders." For example, it applies to the Roman Emperor, Decius (ad 250-251). He killed thousands of Christians who refused to offer sacrifices in his name.]

[Starise]

1 hour ago, DPMartin said:

Is there some law that requires people to respond to you in some kind of positive manor? Are you entitled an expected response because you were a nice guy? And “entitled an opinion” only means the people agree using law of the land to express that agreement that one shouldn’t go to jail for saying what they want to say. But that doesn’t mean anyone is required to care about or respect your opinion, or that you even have one.  People can like you or dislike you for any reason they want. even God favors some over others for His reasons.

During chairman moa’s reign you were not allowed by law, that was strictly enforced, to express an opinion, especially if it was on religion, unless it was in agreement with his. You’re not entitled, its only agreed that the members of the group or nation can or can’t do. The only thing entitled in God’s creation is the fulfillment of God’s Word.

 

when Jesus walked with the Jews, He was entitled worship. what was it that you might think you might be entitled?

Oh I knew this one was coming. A suck it up and stop feeling sorry for yourself response.

There is such a thing as mutual respect. Please tell me you've heard of it?

Of course on the surface no one is REQUIRED to do anything. I am not required to answer your post or attempt a decent answer.I am not REQUIRED to even consider your opinion. 

As believers ( if you are one) we are supposed to love others as God tells us to love one another.We are even to love our enemies.

My OP was a request as to the ways believers see people exercise their right to be rude and generally reject people because they don't like them or something they say.IOW how have others here been subjected to disprespect, slight and general rude behavior as a result of their beliefs? 

My expectation is not that everyone will be nice. I have lived long enough to know better than that. That is sometimes comes from the Christian community is not a good thing IMO. 

To be fair I have plenty of friends who are believers and the good ones far outweigh those who I sometimes wonder about.

Oh...and I don't like you 

[Starise]

48 minutes ago, missmuffet said:

As believers we are not defined by our past failures or by disappointment or by the rejection of others. We are defined as children of God, born again to newness of life and endowed with every spiritual blessing and accepted in Christ Jesus.

Matthew 10:22

And you will be hated by all for My name’s sake. But he who endures to the end will be saved.

And this is very important I think. To constantly remember where our real value lies.