Am I part of a dying breed?

[Mongo]

All your nice girls are belong to me.

[nebula]

That's a good one!

(Yes - I get the joke!)

[Scarletprayers]

All your nice girls are belong to me.

I think your being greedy, share with the others!

[kodischild]

I have met very nice girls in the most unlikely places, and I have met very evil girls in the most unsuspecting places. You just never know. Right now, I got no one really important in my life, but there's a girl who I am her "boyfriend" and we chat or go hang out sometimes. Being 6'5" and 255 I tend to keep the pervs off her, and she doesn't mind seeing scary movies with me so it's a fair trade. And my ego gets a shot when I am with her and her friends. Something to be said being 39 and escorting 3 25ish y.o. females who buy your way and squeeze your arms to death when the killer jumps out of the closet. I think I am more like their dad, but only "cooler" as one of them put it.

There ya have it, guys. Now you know where all the nice young girls are...............with Mongo!!!!

[nebula]

(WhySoBlind @ Oct 10 2005, 04:10 PM)

This standard is impossible. . . .

WSB -

What about the command for husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the Church - who loved her and gave Himself for her?

Do you see this as impossible? If so, why would it be commanded?

That's an example. God doesn't expect us to be perfect. Goodness.

I submit there isnt a man on this board who meets that standard. The BBQ joke in the humor section is proof of that.

I am not sure I understand what you are saying.

Shiloh wasn't talking about being "perfect" -

The point is that you will be much better off if you worry more about making yourself the best husband possible rather than worrying about finding the girl who will fulfill your dreams (so to speak).

I have a friend with a bumper sticker that says: "Love is not finding the right person; love is being the right person."

About the BBQ thread -

The Lord has been having to heal my from some severe hurts I got from significant males in my life that left me feeling very, very bitter against me. I'm trying to avoid tangling in these men-vs-women jokes right now for that.

Before, about this time, I'd be posting the joke about how marriage is like flies on the window:

Those who are out want in and those who are in want out.

But I need to turn from thinking of such things.

In some ways I feel discouraged being in my mid-30's and not having anything close to having even a boyfriend. But I realize it has been God's mercy that I'm single and unnattached. My wounding and bitterness would have harmed the marriage bad. I can only hope that if the Lord intends for me to marry that the guy has been healed from bitterness against women, too.

I ealize I have more areas of my life that need to be dealt with to in this. and if the Lord desires for these things to be taken care of first - Hallelujah!

My parents had a rotten marriage all my known life - I don't want to go through any repeats of that in my marriage.

[Mongo]

I think your being greedy, share with the others!

Trust me; If I had one for my own, I wouldn't be here. I'd be snuggling.

Sadly though, I was only ever in love once. I met her, fell in love and I loved her with all my soul. We had two wonderful sons. Then the enemy came into my perfect life and caused harm, and she was the the target. After 12 years she decided she couldn't be faithful and ultimately it ended our marriage. I tried, for 2 years, to reason with her and bring her back to reason, but I learned that once a woman makes a conviction it's done. Nothing will change her mind. I no longer see my sons. My ex-wife has found them a new father and has worked to replace me fully in their eyes. But I will always know the sound of my sons' laughter, their tender squeals when I would play with them and their infectious smiles and giggles. I will always remember the day my oldest and I say in front of the TV eating cereal, dressed nearly identical, watching Bug Bunny and enjoying the Saturday morning to ourselves. I will always remember my youngest (our thrid child) coming up to me and instead of licking my ice cream, taking it carefully from my hand -moving finger after finger - and then offering me some before he carried it off into sweet doom.

Truly I say this - I have never felt so helpless as I did the day I learned of my wife's behavior from her own lips. I think a part of me died that day, as much as when we lost our second child.

I have met some really nice women since then, but none of them, save one, have I cared for nearly as much. And its a shame that she is not strong enough to take another chance on love. Her husband walked out on their 14 year marriage abruptly and it left a lasting scar upon her. I was and still am very nice to her, but she has made it clear that she does not believe we would be life-long partners and I don't believe in pursuing casual relations with her. Impasse? I think so. But I pray for her a lot.

Love is easy. I love everyone, basically. Its being willing to accept someone that people have problems with.

Edited October 11, 2005 by Mongo

[Fiosh]

Personally, I think men, in general, are great. Let's hear it for the guys!!!!

)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Yea !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

[Guest shiloh357]

Oh yeah. You know, you make it sound like I just sit around thinking of ways to offend God and everyone else.

I have worked on those things very very hard to be honest. They are worse now than ever along with other problems. Wish it were otherwise, but that is the case. I have tried to make myself desirable to others and about the only thing I learned is that it isn't worth the bother. There is always someone better than me. Whether they are more attractive or more intelligent or more learned in the Bible or stronger or have a better job or a better speaker, or more soft spoken, or better athelete, or whatever.

They key, WSB, is not compare yourself against others, but to compare yourself against Christ. I am not trying to be "more man" than some other guy, I am trying (and I do fail) to be more like Christ. I want to treat my wife the way Christ would treat her. Jesus was never married, but can you imagine the kind of husband he would have been???? I can never measure up to Christ, but I can always keep trying. The more like Christ I can be, the better husband I will be one day. He is the example. He is the "man's man." If I tried to be better than other men, and compared myself to other men, there would always be someone better looking, more talented, more handy with tools, wittier, funnier, etc. When you compare yourself in the natural, you will do nothing but torture yourself. It works for that way for women, too. You should NEVER compare yourself with others.

I take it you are always selfless and never lazy and take the initiative at all the right times, and never offend anyone? And pray 3 times a day and fast twice in a week and pay tithe of all that you have, and never miss a church service? And lead ten people to Christ every day? And your wife never complains because you are the perfect husband who never ever does anything wrong?

No, that is not true at all. Everyone has drawbacks or flaws in their personalities. None of us walk two feet above the ground. It is not a matter of doing everything right all of the time. As I said before, it is process that we must be willing to undertake. All of us fail, and fall short. The true test of character is when we keep on trying, and keep plugging away and being faithful to God.

It is a matter of perspective too. I don't know who my future wife will be, but even now I live for her. I don't mess around, sleep around, etc. I am keeping myself. I am single 38 and a virgin. I am not ashamed of that at all. There is someone out there, I am not going to spoil it. So, I am working on those parts of me that need to be refined, that need to change. I am not going to put her through the agony of having being beleagured with unpleasent quirks and such. There is always room for improvement.

But then agian, I may never get married. There may never be anyone who is interested, but you know what? God's grace is sufficient. I am not going to worry about what is not happening in my life, and instead I am using this time to make a difference in the world wherein it lies within my power to do so.

Single men and single women need to focus on self examination in the light of the Scriptures, and begin working on those areas, with the help of Holy Spirit to become more conformed into the image of Christ. In that way, they will be better husbands and better wives if or when the times comes that they meet that special someone. Remember , YOU are a gift that you give someone else when you marry them. Marriage should not be about getting your needs met, but an opportunity to make someone else's life better. It is not what you get, but what you can give. It is about seeking to be the a blessing and a benefit to the one you love.

Funny stuff. My second cousin....He just got dusted by his wife of ten years for no good reason. He did everything right, and she, "Fell out of love" with him! Imagine that. The poor guy's been living for God all his life and makes so much money working on compressor computers for manufacturing companies, and was in the Marine Corps for ten years, and wouldn't hurt a fly, and would do anything in the world for a complete stranger, all the "christian" qualities a man could have, and payed to put her through college and nursing school, and she DUMPED HIM. Just like that. that's what his reward was for doing everything the best humanly possible. That's what he got for making himself more desirable. Just more pain and suffering. Waited till he was 35 to marry hoping to find "miss right", and "miss right" tore his heart out. Supposed to be a "southern belle" christian gal...

Well, first off, I don't care for stories like this, because we are only getting one side of the story. For that reason, I won't comment further on the specific circumstances.

But it is true... you can do everything right, and still get hurt. Nothing I have said is a guarantee for a good marriage. Loving someone requires that you take a risk. Sometimes, you can get hurt and it hurts bad. The beautful thing about being a Christian is that even when we get hurt, God's grace is sufficient. I have been single for 38 years, and have struggled with loneliness, but God's grace is sufficient. I have had my share of heartache, but God's grace is sufficient. The day may, or may not, come when someone will appreciate me for who I am, but no matter what happens, God's grace is sufficient for me. It's never the end of the world to be single. I wake up every morning with a conscience that's clear, and no regrets. You can't put a price on that!! When/if I do get married, I will have no baggage, no skeletons, no secrets, no regrets. It will be wonderful!!

[Guest Ignatius]

You are not part of a dying breed. The Renaissance Man is the man of the future. Most of the current polling indicates that women want a man to be both kind/sensitive and macho/domineering at the same time. You just have to learn to know when to be one way or the other.

You have to be able to go to the museum and understand how to appreciate fine art and history, and then go ride a horse to a shooting range before rounding up some cattle. You need to be able to dine at the finest restaurants without embarrasing her with your inept manners, then go on a camping expedition and eat meat from the bones of animals with your bare hands.

But really what most of them are waiting for is the guy with the money that meets all these other qualifications.

"Show me the money honey!"

Edited October 11, 2005 by Ignatius

[nebula]

OK - Ignatius gets the "Dunce" cap.

Err . . . um . . . welcome to the Board?