Trying to hold in tears...

[RdJ]

9 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

I do have a church. A girl came to my place and everything but it hasn't helped.

I mean where they also pray for you to get healed and give lessons so you know who you are in Christ and that He loves you and not only practical help.

[warrior12]

I had issuer earlier on where, I could not sleep for months and months.  It was demonic oppression which I knew for sure as I have been in spiritual battles . That is a story for another day.

I can write a few pages here of the struggles I went through and to a lesser extent still go through.  

Please, if by any circumstance you are going on meds, read and research the drug thoroughly, as some of those would get you on them for life, as they become dependent or a crutch that really is no cure.   Not saying you should not seek medical advice, but you must also know that the Christian are in spiritual warfare and Satan comes to oppress and wear down the saints.   Take your position on Christ and stand firm no matter what.

You know and you must realize , you are not alone in these struggles. I am sure many here are going through many things, but are afraid or timid to share them.  If I speak my issues, then it may sound pitiful and hence I refrain from doing so.   I have shared a bit before here a while back, but I don't want to do so anymore. 

My name I choose here is because of so much battles that took place in the spiritual realm, that I always remembered King David in his battle with Goliath and also Ephesians 6.    I am a warrior , never touched a gun in my life or fought with any man, but with the spiritual host of wickedness in high places.

Stand strong in the Lord sister,  the devil is a defeated foe.  You will pass on your battle stories to your children and others as you testify of the truths of this world we live in, the seen and unseen. 

[BK1110]

Sister, you are ever in my prayers.

As you said, you are trying! Do not discount that as being a glorifying testimony to your faith in God. Even in these incredible trials, you know His will, you desire His will, you are fighting tooth and nail to stick to His will, resisting the devil telling you to give up, resisting the evil one's temptation to end your life before God is ready for it to end.

You are fighting hard. You are a warrior. The devil has not defeated you. You are standing for God's truth and His will. Do not think for a minute that God is not very pleased about your show of faith in this time of great darkness in your life. God is allowing the devil to test you, and so far, you have not given in. You have not let the devil convince you to distrust God, you have not let him to convince you to orphan your precious children. You are an inspiration to me (and I imagine everyone else here). When I think of the struggles in attitude I have had at times over the past few months and days with the stress of moving, despite it being nowhere near your level of stress, I can only stand in awe of your faith. I hope one day to grow to be able to fight as hard and as successfully as you have been.

Do not hold in those tears. "JESUS WEPT" (John 11:35) Did you get that? Let me say it again.

"JESUS WEPT" (John 11:35)

Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, very God of very God, Alpha and Omega, Beginning and End, Light of the world, Prince of peace...he wept! Your tears are not shameful. They are not weak. They are not displeasing to your loving Father in heaven.

And guess what the very next verse says: "So the Jews said, 'See how he loved him!'" (John 11:36) Jesus wept openly, in front of others, in front of his disciples, in front of believers, in front of non-believers! Do not be ashamed of your tears. Do not hide them. Do not hide your pain. Do not think it makes you weak or a failure of a Christian. Do not hesitate to keep seeking help.

God is not finished with you yet!

[Marilyn C]

On 4/16/2024 at 5:31 AM, Figure of eighty said:

I feel a slew of emotions from deep sadness to anger that I just can't shake this mental whatever off. 

I feel I'm too busy.  I have kids, I'm trying to study for school but I just feel like crying daily bc I can't get rid of this. These rhoughts,feelings ect. 

I try to atleast keep myself from crying bc I feel if I'm not crying I'm not crazy and I'm keeping it together. 

Right now I'm having a hard time. I feel like a failure as a mother, too many intrusive thoughts,I feel hopeless, I feel God won't help. I just feel like a lost cause.

I already reached out to my Dr.  She Said someone was gonna reach out to me-- hasn't happened.  So I tried to reach out to them. Email is messed up. Will call. I just feel like a failure. 

I'm trying but it doesn't seem good enough. I feel like I'm just a moment of splitting from reality. 

 

I'm ashamed I may need meds. I'm ashamed I'm alone and been alone and friendless my entire life. 

I feel hopeless bc I feel God won't help. I feel he's just looking at me wanting for me to lose then blame me for not holding on. 

I feel hopeless. 

I just feel God won't help me. My worst fear is the S word and I feel God wouldn't even try to stop me. 

I just feel he doesn't care about my life. 

I just feel small and unimportsnt to most.  

My brain is broken . 

 

I need assistance but I'm. Mot sure where to start. 

 

I'm trying though

Hi figure of eighty,

We can all identify somewhat with you for we have all been driving ourselves into the ground at some time.  And God wont wrestle the wheel of our lives off us. It is our choice to surrender to His loving arms and place our lives in His hands.

I will go and post a song I believe is especially for you at this time. It will be in the Music video section.

Marilyn.

[WilliamL]

On 4/15/2024 at 2:03 PM, Figure of eighty said:

My brain is broken and I feel like a failure as a mom and in general. 

My very last hope is medication. If this doesn't work then I'm truly a lost cause. 

From what you wrote in your first two posts, you have the classic symptoms of bipolar disorder. (Common these days.) Right now you are in the depressive phase, the other phase being the manic, where one feels like they can do everything.

The primary medication for this is lithium carbonate, an inorganic compound; common dose around 50 milligrams, by prescription. But one can purchase lithium orotate online without a prescription in much smaller doses, 5 - 10 mg., and it is an organic substance, and cheap. Some research says it promotes brain health in general. A web search will bring up many articles about it. It can be purchased on ebay and other such sites.

Hope this helps. Pray about it, of course.