"Christian Preacher for Thousands" How?

[Jimmie Babz]

Thank you. In a way where... for some reasons. U seem to be understanding quite alot my situation. It is good to have brothers like you to help me out. (everyone when I said "you")

Of course I am in fear. Fear of making the wrong decision all the time. It's all I've been doing lately. It's what people make me see. I know I have to take risks. But in a way... I don't think I am ready to take those risks.

It is weird. Today... I've been in God's presence the WHOLE day. And at the ending... I asked him to show me love. Give me love. I have always been looking.

Now... I somehow... Have gained it's knoledge. Of course I still feel depressed. But not as much I was.

I've started to truly be able to smile lately. I know God is there... But I need more then: Spiritual Presence. I need a Human presence by my life. To help me out.

For some reasons... I've learned today that my old friend "Sarah" Likes a guy... And she won't tell me who. I am feeling it is me.

But THE problem is that... I feel HORRIBLE knowing she might like someone else. I've loved her a little while back. she never said anything so I thought she didn't like me and all...

But... but... ARGH!! I wanna know why she's acting like that with me!

She's never hided ANYTHING from me before. So why won't she just tell me... I mean

I'm getting mad at this other guy for existing. But... I'll wait to see the name.

I don't wanna wait. I wanna know it now.

I wanna beat the crap out of the guy she likes for making her suffer because she's liked him for 3 years...

And here again. I sooo want it to be me. I mean... ARGH!!! She's making me suffer. At least I know she's there. I beleive she's the one I trust the most in all my life. And then it's my bestfriend Josh.

But... ooooh man. I soooo wish I could just get into her head and take out what I've been DYING to know. I knew she liked some1 a year ago. But... I didn't know she liked him for 3 years. And it makes me in pain because she told me it wasn't me.

But she had her webcam on. And when she said it wasn't me. She had TEARS!!!

Seriously. RIGHT THERE! BANG! I had this gutsy feeling again that she loves me. But is to afraid to tell me.

I sooo just wanna stop hurting her. I don't wanna hurt her.

I finaly told her how I felt about her. I told her EVERYTHING!!!

Problem is... I wasn't able to discribe how much I loved her...

Ppffiioouu. Feels good to know you guyz won't mind me telling you this. It feels good to talk about it. Getting mad, yelling... and having you guyz to back me up all the way. It feels so good. This is the only thing I've always hoped in. Christian brotherhood. I mean... It's so powerful. I thank God for giving us this.

Now I must be off to bed. WAY 2 tired. lol Ttyl!! Take care

(Thx for reading this) And God Bless!!

[Micah68]

Dear Jimmy,

It sounds like you need to calm down. Tell those wild emotions, Peace, be still. Then once you are calmed down, get into the Word of God. Read it, learn it, love it. The Scripture says that if you want to stay clear of the great deception, you need to have a love of the truth. (2 Thessalonians 2:7-13) The best way to start is to read the gospels. Find out what it is that Jesus required of his disciples. Read slowly and with a purpose. Digest it and pray about it and learn how to live it. Also, learn to have patience. Most young people have a lot of energy, which is great, but they need to learn patience. Patience sometimes just comes with the passing of time and experience. You need time to learn a little of life's experience.

And just as an aside, people can love whom they wish. You cannot force someone to love you. Again, be patient. You are so young. Wait for the right one and let go those that are not interested. If she doesn't love you or if she's playing games with you, she is not the right one. So what? Maybe you're playing games with her too. Calm down. Learn patience. It will be okay.

[Jimmie Babz]

Well... About the patience. I do have it. Just... Not on everything. I am quite patient about MANY things. And then again...Theres also some stuff in which I am NOT patient with.

I guess I'll let it pass. Right?

I talked to my mom about it. I feels bad in a way because I love my mom so much. She's like my bestfriend. Always been there for me. It's hard to know she'll die someday near and has a chance that God takes her away any moments.

But hey! I try to stay focused on God anyways.

Well... My mom told me to read the bible And Focus more on God. And to calm down because wanting to hurt isn't in me. I've never been able to hurt no one.

So ya. I beleive I will have to move on. But I'll be patient. VERY Patient. I love her. And well... I will see what happends. If it doesn't go the way she thinks... Who knows. She might come to me... But... I'll wait

[SavedOne]

Just a reflection on similar past feelings.... Whenever I feel a call or a change in direction of a call.... or worse yet feel confused about what exactly I am to change... I often have a terrible time sleeping along with becoming extremely distraught, and then when almost complete exhaustion was reached I went through the sleep for most of somedays thing sometimes for "a while". You actually have the odd feeling that God isn't listening anymore and nobody else is either.

THE GOOD NEWS. To this point they have always been followed by huge steps in Christian Maturity,drowning in the Love of God, and the Spirit, understanding , and most important greater Fruitfulness. I have learned now to just quit fighting it and trying to understand it, and have faith that it is the next step.... calming myself privately with the Word and Prayer and Praise.

Regarding the dream about Preaching in front of a huge audience... it is an extremely common dream... I do missionary, and evangelist work, and talk and confide back and forth with others that do the same and I really don't remmeber when someone didn't have a very similar dream.... usually more than once. In the beginning for me it was attached to fame and fortune, but as I change it changed to one that was blessed with the fruitfulness that was eternal, not financial.

God Bless You and be assured WE not just m e are praying for you .