is 19 too young to get married?

[buckthesystem]

hey, i'm 19 n i am gettin married in 5months to a guy who is 21. we are both christians. are we too young to get married?

i would really appreciate some feedback on this. x

Yeah, go for it. Obviously you have each met the "right one", so everything should be ok. No matter how old you are you know in your heart whether or not you want to be with each other for the rest of your lives. If you wait, you risk something happening (either of you might travel, or go to university, or join the army, or something and meet somebody else and only get confused). And you have a good Christian guy to marry, what could be better.

There is nothing to stop you getting tertiary education or studying in general or enhancing your career, just because you are married. I married 30 years ago, when I was 20 and my husband was 26 - actually a month from being 27 - and we both have no regrets. The kids didn't come along for seven years, plenty

of time for us to save money for a house, work, study, what ever.

"Seize the day" (I was going to write "carpe diem" but I'm not sure how to spell it).

[Guest NewPilgrim]

Contributors for a succesful marriage:

1)Make sure its God-willed

2)Keep God at the centre

3)Remember your marriage is spiritual as well as physical

4)be confident in being able to share all things with your spouse

(If a marriage is trully succesful, you shouldnt need another person to "turn to" in need, although there is no harm in doing so; particularly in cases of abuse or error by spouse where it is pretty much essential)

5)Follow God both as partners and individuals, sometimes time alone with God is as important as coming before him together.

6)Lead by example, regardless of what your spouse is doing. God first, always.

7)Don't forget the cups of tea. Cups of tea are very important

Hope this blesses you xx

[RGR]

I got married @ 21 years of age and I have regretted it for a lot of years now. Granted I deal with someone who calls themselves a Christian, but in reality is a pathological liar who thinks nothing of cheating or lying, but still yet, you have your whole life ahead of you. If this is truly who God has in store for you, what will waiting a couple of years more hurt until you're a little more settled?

[>> Hannah <<]

in terms of a person to turn to pilg shud this be truthful for before marriage aswell. what about friends?

[>> Hannah <<]

i can imagine ash writing something similar to that post in a few years Ronald, im not 100% clear why were doing it now, i do love him. there is no rush. just hard to back out n stop plans now wen its in 4 n a bit months

Edited March 15, 2006 by >> Hannah <<

[RGR]

i can imagine ash writing something similar to that post in a few years Ronald, im not 100% clear why were doing it now, i do love him. there is no rush. just hard to back out n stop plans now wen its in 4 n a bit months

I understand completely and I'm certainly not saying your intended is going to turn out to be the devil in disguise, lol! I tend to get concerned when I see someone stepping into the realm of marriage so early and I just don't to see you, or anyone for that matter, get hurt and thinking 10 years down the road how you should have waited. If you feel God's peace on this, by all means, trust Him!

[>> Hannah <<]

i can imagine ash writing something similar to that post in a few years Ronald, im not 100% clear why were doing it now, i do love him. there is no rush. just hard to back out n stop plans now wen its in 4 n a bit months

I understand completely and I'm certainly not saying your intended is going to turn out to be the devil in disguise, lol! I tend to get concerned when I see someone stepping into the realm of marriage so early and I just don't to see you, or anyone for that matter, get hurt and thinking 10 years down the road how you should have waited. If you feel God's peace on this, by all means, trust Him!

and what if i dont feel gods peace?

[>> Hannah <<]

feeling like its make or break

[Guest NewPilgrim]

I think you have to acknowledge the potential in your fiancee as a husband and yourself as a wife. In order to enter into marriage you should be preparing yourself for these types of issues. The scripture establishes the relationship between Yeshua and the church as the role-model for husband and wife. In that respect a prospective husband should have in mind Yeshuas love for the church and his attitudes toward them and likewise a potential wife should consider the way the church responds to Yeshua. A woman should be confidant that her fiancee will be fair and compassionate in his headship over her and likewise a man should be keen to put on that responsibility and strive to be a christ like husband to his future wife and commited in service to her to even the point of death.

The secular world will have us believe that ideally we should marry for love and if you have love then you have enough. Unfortunately this is untrue. It takes far more than our own love to succesfully uphold a christian marriage. We must have dedication, God-centred attitudes, a willingness to sacrifice (from the smallest issue to the greatest love of all)

I don't think necessarily that all these things must be firmly in place from day one, but the potential must be there, it must be clear and most importantly we must have the willingness to embrace and persue those things and grow in them.

I am not and never have been married, so some may say I have no "qualification" for giving such advice, but then again I'm a sinner and as such have no qualification to give advice on righteous living. The point is that we have our example in the scriptures and just as we can apply the example of Christ to our daily lives and devotions, we can do the same for all of the issues in life such as marriage, for which Yeshua, again, has given the example.

[Guest NewPilgrim]

just hard to back out n stop plans now wen its in 4 n a bit months

Hannah, you were saying this before Christmas. Even 8 months b4 the wedding you were telling me it was too late to change your mind. I'll say the same again as I did then. If your marriage is Gods intent, you have nothing to fear. If it is not, its far better to put a stop to it, even if its at the altar, and look a fool, than it is to potentially make a mess of two lives that could otherwise be far happier in the long-run and be better tools for Gods work. If you think calling off a wedding is expensive, imagine the cost of a wedding AND (God forbid) a divorce.

You NEED to SEEK God's WILL.