"Best Friends" with an ex?

[DaughterofKing]

Can someone explain this to me? I have met three guys that say their ex is their "best friend" and that they are closer to their ex than anyone else. How is this possible? I have never been able to have this sort of a relationship with an ex and so I don't understand it and I am highly suspicious of it. Can anyone give me insights or understanding or thoughts here?

[Jefferiah]

I think it's possible to remain friends with an ex. And I think that in certain situations it can work out. But not always. Assuming they really are nothing more than friends and the girl they are currently dating is cool with it, then I don't see why it is a problem. It's not an easy question to answer because I think it can depend alot on the situation. I know for a lot of people it seems to be impossible to remain friends with an ex. But I have seen it work. In some situations it has to work. Like in a small town, where everyone knows each other and sees each other quite frequently. If one resident of a small town happens to be an ex with another resident, there is a pretty good chance that they might see each other alot and also that they might share some of the same peers (i.e. Dawson's Creek, although thats a little embellished I think).

[Jefferiah]

Now although I said in my last post that I feel it is possible to have close friendship with an ex, I don't neccessarily believe it is probable. A friendship is possible, but best friends...hmmm...I would be suspicious myself. But I think in order to form a good judgement about the 3 guys you mentioned you will also have to include some additional information. You stated that you had "met" 3 guys who claimed to be best friends with an ex. But you never said whether or not they were actually dating someone at the time. That's a pretty big factor. Also, assuming you were interested in these guys yourself, what sort of a relationship did you have with them? If you were dating these guys then I would say that you would have a right to tell them: "Look, as long as I am your partner, I am your best friend, and you don't talk to anyone else about our relationship..etc" But if you were simply interested in these guys, and had only just met them, it may be a different story. Does that make sense?

[Smalcald]

I don't really buy it.

I think if there are children involved then ex's have an obligation to get along and be civil and be parents together.

Other than that I would be very very cautious. I would never in my dating years ever get involved with someone who was close friends with the ex, no way.

[Sundance]

A thought.... Jesus and Paul taught that the 'one flesh' relationship of a first time covenant marriage could only be

broken by death (1 Corinthians 7:39). (In light of this, Paul teaches in 1 Corinthians 7:11, that one who has left is to

remain unmarried or be reconciled.)

[His Ambassador]

Can someone explain this to me? I have met three guys that say their ex is their "best friend" and that they are closer to their ex than anyone else. How is this possible? I have never been able to have this sort of a relationship with an ex and so I don't understand it and I am highly suspicious of it. Can anyone give me insights or understanding or thoughts here?

Why do you assume one must be enemies with an ex? This happens only when one or the other (or both) refuses to let go of bitterness, anger, a vengeful attitude or enjoys playing the "victim's role". At the very least to be an adversary with one's ex shows a lack of maturity.

[Guest NewPilgrim]

Dunno about ex-wives, but I'm really good friends with all of my ex-girlfriends, even the one that cheated on me. Took a long time to forgive her, but even so, we are now really good friends again and I wouldnt have it any other way

[Marnie]

I find it hard to believe you can be "friends" with your ex-anything. Not that you want to strangle them, but friends? I don't think so.

[Guest NewPilgrim]

If it doesnt work, it doesnt work. Why does there have to be such animosity?

[Iryssa]

I can see it causing a lot of problems in future relationships, so I'd say it's dangerous at best.