Pushy?

[Annette443pink]

I was approached Sunday by one of our church ladies. She asked me to be involved in a specific ministry. Really, I was thinking that I did not want to be involved and especially when being put on the spot about it. Could I have said no? (this isn't really a question). I find that rude and pushy. If a person wants to be involved in something, they will be involved. She said that she just wanted me to get involved. It kind of makes me mad. I guess it's just pride on my part.

I think it's partly because I got burned at my last church. I did get involved in a lot of things (because I wanted to, not expecting anything in return). Yet, when I had a problem after 9 years of being faithful I felt that my feelings were very much discounted. Should I take this out on the new church? I suppose not, but I am just not much into being pushed around right now.

Then they ask me why I wasn't at some ladies meeting and I told them why and they dismissed my reasons and feelings about it. I don't need someone else telling me how to think or feel or act.

What are your opinions about it all?

[Giaour]

I've been going to the same church for 8 years now.

I am very shy there and so I didnt volunteer for anything.

One day, one of the ladies asked me if I would help out in the nursery during church.

I was thrilled someone actually asked and needed my help.

Please look at it from my perspective.

I help whenever asked now.

[anitarose]

I was approached Sunday by one of our church ladies. She asked me to be involved in a specific ministry. Really, I was thinking that I did not want to be involved and especially when being put on the spot about it. Could I have said no? (this isn't really a question). I find that rude and pushy. If a person wants to be involved in something, they will be involved. She said that she just wanted me to get involved. It kind of makes me mad. I guess it's just pride on my part.

I think it's partly because I got burned at my last church. I did get involved in a lot of things (because I wanted to, not expecting anything in return). Yet, when I had a problem after 9 years of being faithful I felt that my feelings were very much discounted. Should I take this out on the new church? I suppose not, but I am just not much into being pushed around right now.

Then they ask me why I wasn't at some ladies meeting and I told them why and they dismissed my reasons and feelings about it. I don't need someone else telling me how to think or feel or act.

What are your opinions about it all?

Well, Annette,first off, welcome to Worthy...hadn't seen you before...

Ok, here's my take: if a church asks you to get involved and you don't feel the call of God, don't. Trust me, you would be miserable. If they get upset with you, remember that there is a ministry of helps mentioned (1Cor 12:28) and yes it's a good idea if you get involved with your church, but only if the Lord leads you to. Like for example, I'm in Bible school. They have most of us on a rotation in the ministry of helps, so that we can learn each area. Some are greeters, some ushers, some help with the TV ministry (like me), still others work in the nursery. Some of us are called to those areas and have an anointing on their lives to fulfill them.

The people in your church that ask you to help in an area that needs help need to pray to the Lord to fill those posts with anointed people. Sometimes it takes a special anointing to be able to do some of those jobs, like cleaning a toilet. Now THAT takes anointing!!!! Or changing a diaper. Who knows, you could be changing the diaper of the next Billy Graham. No one knows.

If they are upset about your not attending the ladies meeting, sounds to me like you should find another church that won't be upset about your not being there. This is just my thinking here.

We have learned that the ministry of helps is a supernatural ministry and it takes anointed people to fill those posts. Read over Acts 6:1-7 and you will understand what the qualifications of a person who is anointed in the ministry of helps really are....

Anyway, that's my five cents...Inflation, ya know....

Anita & Chikachu

[billie]

20% of the Church does 80% of the work.

When faced with those numbers, I help where ever I'm asked. I also work in the nursery on a weekly basis.

[Giaour]

It's not easy for everyone to go up to someone at church and say "I want to serve, where do you want me".

It's good to ask so people like me feel needed.

[LadyRaven]

I would have said that I haven't been led to where I felt my gifts and talents were best used yet. Of course she might have a suggestion or two and then I would have said "thank you, I'll pray and think about it." If i wasn't led I wouldn't do it, but who knows, she might have needed something and I might have... I go through periods where I'm very active and then periods where I am not (much like the rest of my life, it runs in spurts). People who fellowship with me realise this and when they see me ask if there is anyone who needs my help I suddenly find fifty or so different opportunities before me and people who have been doing things for years that just need a break.

[Kabowd]

We're all called to serve. While I would agree, no one should be manipulated or "pushed" into anything...at the same time, a healthy body of believers should not have to manipulate or push people into serving. I'd say this could be a little pride along with some bitterness on your part, because you've been wounded in the past (which is understandable). But, it might be time for you to re-evaluate what church is about. Do you think it's there to meet your needs, fill you up, and/or just be a blessing to you? Or is it's purpose to be a place where you can exercise your gifts, where you can be equipped and where you can be a blessing to others? Ideally, it should be both, but too often people forget the latter part. Alot of churches now are filled with self-centered people who focus only on their own desires (i.e. what kind of worship style they like, how big of a church they want to attend, does it have enough programs for their kids, etc).

Personally, I think serving should be a requirement, not an option. I think if you're going to identify yourself with a body, you should invest in it and commit to it. I think your involvement should be based on your gifts and interests, but at the same time, I don't think only people with children should have to work with children. We need to remember that the Christian faith is all about sacrificial love, grace and giving. We should be emulating that.

[billie]

On an aside: I have children, and wouldn't want people working with them who didn't really want to. I've seen this lead to the adult becoming frustrated and taking it out on the children.

[jackie d]

Do what the Lord leads you to do and stop listening to what people think you should do..most people will lead you down a wrong path everytime.

[eric]

Well I think I would agree with Kaboud on most aspects. If you are a regular attender of a family type church, I think you have to expect, someone involved in the running of that body, to ask you if you are interested in taking some active part in the ministry.

Maybe, because of a previous experience, you are entitled to be on your guard, it doesn't mean it's the norm in all meetings. Maybe you were having a bad hair day. When I used to go church I was always ready to help, from weeding the gardens,preparing the emblems for communion, or whatever..... but...I wasn't doing it for the pastor or the church, but for the glory of the Lord. I don't know, maybe I got some sort of spiritual buzz out of, but I know I wasn't pushed into it.