Taking offensive comments from someone you love

[Turnapage]

How do you take offensive comments from someone you love?How do you let the comments go? I have tried to explain to this person for years that his comments hurt me and he says this is just how he is and to get over it. I know forgiveness is the factor and I have done this over and over.It's almost a daily thing.Maybe I'm overly sensitive but some of the things he says to me are really, really cruel. I know I need to go into a serious prayer mode.I know I need to bless this person after each bad comment but it just seems to get harder and harder.Has anyone out there been through this? Offensive comments coming from a stranger is one thing but when it comes from someone who is close to you is something else.

[asap]

Turnapage,

Hey I just wanted you to know that I am sorry that anyone in your life would be so intentionally cruel. I don't want to presume what your relationship is but give you some information. I found a sight that speaks on emotional abuse and your faith. Hopefully it will offer some help. Usually people that are cruel to others have their own deep rooted problems that need to be forgiven, so don't take this on as something you are not doing right.

http://eaandfaith.blogspot.com/

Father I ask that you help in this situation. You know what the problem is here so you know the solution, Father give peace and understanding, strength and wisdom. In Jesus Holy name. Amen

[shazza]

Turnapage, I think it is unacceptable that your friend is intentionally offensive and upsets you. It can't be good when you feel hurt by his comments so you don't have to put up with them. You have certain standards and he should respect you.

The thing is the more negative comments he makes the more he will pull you down, you need to be around positive people who lift you up not pull you down. This is not a healthy relationship, you may need to sit him down and just lay it all on the table about how his comments make you feel.

God wants us to surround ourselves with people who can encourage us and for us to encourage them.

I have been around very negative people where I used to work and it pulled me down terribly.

I will pray for you.

[Rachel72]

Turnapage, I just went thru this with a dear friend of mine. It is in this thread, below yours.

I ended the friendship.

I don't know how significant this person is in your life, but they are not being respectful of you and are mistreating you.

God wants us to be surrounded by people who can lift us up, feel good about ourselves and smile.

Somehow, you need to end these offensive comments. I will be praying for you.

I never knew I had self respect, until I allowed myself to be angry at my friend who lashed out at me. It seems like maybe you don't feel like you can be angry. I hope I am wrong, I hope you allow yourself to feel anger, but not act out in a way of hurting yourself or another.

I just watched Jesus Christ Superstar the other nite. I turned it on at the part where Judas betrayed Jesus. And, I felt like God was telling me something, I don't know what. I felt that I should not stand by and let my friend get over her anger and grief of losing her mom, which she was taking out on me. Jesus could have fixed the problem and told Judas it was okay and He forgives him, but in the movie, He didn't do this, He let Judas be responsible for hanging himself. This friend of yours needs to be responsible for his/her actions as well. And I hope you can choose an effective way of letting this friend go. Now, if you are married to him, that is a little different. Since I am assuming this is just a friend, that is where I am coming from.

Sometimes, people who degrade other people close to them, it is because they are hurting inside and don't feel worthy of your friendship. They may think you are so much better than they could ever be, and they hurt you without realizing it.

Feel free to IM me. And, I truly believe, even though I am not there yet, I truly believe that when we realize who we really are in Christ, what we really mean to God, that we cannot be affected by people who put us down. We can stand firm in God, knowing He is truly the only one that matters.

God's Peace--

Rachel72

[Turnapage]

micen2,thank you for the words of encouragement and thank you for the hug,

asap,thank you for the website, I went to it and there were so many signs to let me know that I am being abused but of course in my heart I already knew it.Also thank you so much for the prayer.

shazza,thank you also for the words of encouragement.I used to be a pretty sunny person and you are right negative comments can really drag you down.

Rachel, I just read what you have gone through with your friend and I do believe you made the right decision. I wish it could be that easy for me. You will probably be receiving a pm from me soon. There are a few things I need to elaborate on.

Thanks for all your prayers and advice.It will soon be a new year and a new me!