Men

[Faith1]

Okay everyone who wants to give me some advice, although I have had some great advice from 2 wonderful sisters in Christ, but more would be kinda interesting.

I am not made to be alone I have acepted that fact now, just as I said to the Lord after my first child was born "Okay that's it, it's to painful no more kids Lord' now 3 kids later....lol

Same thing I said after my marrige break up no more Lord I wanna be on my own it's to painful - yeah sure so my question is what are the right and biblical ways of finding that right person God would have you be with?

I know there maybe some here that are against remarriage and that's okay but I am not! so having said that...

Yes I have prayed about this - yes I realize the Lord will bring him (whoever he is) along in His time...but is it wrong to go looking?

So that is basically my question here!

Is it wrong to go looking for that right guy or should one just sit and wait for God to just drop him into my life?

What do you all think?

Thanks

Faith1

[nebula]

Not that I'm an expert or anything (still single myself - haven't been into the dating thing either), but making the effort to meet people, I don't think, is wrong. What you do in the meeting and what you do as you "feel each other out" I think would be the concern.

I don't think people who are still in process of deciding if a permanent relationship would work or not shouldn't be kissing and sending each other love notes and all that.

My thoughts.

[Faith1]

Thanks Neb. I tend to agree with you. When it comes to men I'm a bit fussy I guess been burnt already dont want to be burnt again Ouch....

Love Ya

Faith1

[sagz4Christ]

I actually do have something to say on this subject.

If you have read the thread on how I came to be where I am today, then you will understand where I am coming from.

I believe that being single is not something to be shunned, or something to be loathed. I used to think that I was meant for someone as well, and went through all kinds of troubles finding the "right one."

It was only after I gave up on that and determined to focus my energy on loving and getting closer to the Lord that He brought someone into my life.

You see, our God is a jealous God. Something I learned the hard way was that when we place something....ANYTHING (or anyone for that matter) above or in front of Him, He doesn't like that....and He takes it away from us. This is not to say that our God is mean or only wants things like He wants them (although there is nothing wrong with that), it is to show us that in order for us to live as He wants...or better said....to live with the fullness of life and joy as both ourselves and our God wants, then we have to put things in the right order.

God first.

I believe that when we start feeling the pangs of lonliness, or rather, when we start wanting to look for our partner, then that is the time we are to drwa even closer to God. We cannot even let the idea of having someone get in the way of our serving Him.

Being single is a time to learn how to live with our focus on God. Without that foundation, and without that "habit" of reading and praying BY OURSELVES that we learn when we are single, then when we DO find somebody, our priorities get out of whack. We don't have the discipline to take time by ourselves and get with God ALONE. We fail to read our Bibles because we are consumed with thoughts of the other person in our lives. This is something I am learning as I write this.

Marriage, or dating is much harder when we don't have the right balance in our lives.

God first.

When we get that balance right, or when God wills it, then we will find someone to spend our time with, and if we set ourpriorities right at the beginning of that relationship, then that relationship will serve to spur both parties on to a deeper relationship with GOD FIRST, and then the other.

I think this is why it is a bad idea for teenagers to date. Call me old fashioned, but I think their time can be best served by getting in the habit of walking their own spiritual life by themselves. Becuase as a man, when we get married, we will be responsible for not only our walk, but our wife's walk as well. And then when we have kids, theirs too.

I don't think that marriage is meant solely for ourselves. There is another, more important reason for this institution....it is to shine the light of Christ in a dark, dark world.

Remember, priority.........

GOD FIRST!!!

I hope that helped....

[Faith1]

Sagz Brother,

Very true I agree with everthing you say, and I have done that, still am doing that, but I dont see the harm in asking other peoples thoughts on this matter. That is not to say I am wholly consumed with the idea of searching out the right guy all the time...and when I do become that way our Father soon whispers lovingly to me and tells me to leave it in His hands and focus on Him.

Absolutely God first in everything, I sure dont do that in any consistent manner I'm not that great! lol but I am ever learning and our Father is oh so patient with me.

Thanks a bunch for your thoughts Sagaz, your great brother!

[sagz4Christ]

Sagz Brother,

Very true I agree with everthing you say, and I have done that, still am doing that, but I dont see the harm in asking other peoples thoughts on this matter. That is not to say I am wholly consumed with the idea of searching out the right guy all the time...and when I do become that way our Father soon whispers lovingly to me and tells me to leave it in His hands and focus on Him.

Absolutely God first in everything, I sure dont do that in any consistent manner I'm not that great! lol but I am ever learning and our Father is oh so patient with me.

Thanks a bunch for your thoughts Sagaz, your great brother!

I didn't want it to sound like I thought you were consumed. I know you better than that!

And it is ALWAYS a great idea to get advice and information from different people. I just tried to post what I did without directing it at anyone. I know I was talking to you, but I was trying to explain it as if I were talking to a general audience. My fault, and I am sorry for the mis-interpretation. I could have done a better job!

[Faith1]

Oh Sagz no sorry's needed your such a sweetheart I know where you were coming from it is me that needs to write more clearly

I bet you are looking forward to the 20 Dec...how blessed you are...I have thanked the Lord for you and your wife to be....I know u will be a wonderful Chistian husband...

Bless you brother

faith1

[RGR]

Now I'm an ole married guy and don't have a whole lot of advice on this subject, but have you tried the Christian Cafe deal that comes up as a link up top? Just curious.

[Faith1]

RGR old married man indeed lol

Well I have actually joined a Christian site for singles and a couple of others but I'm just not to sure about all this online dating stuff anyway it's quite interesting actually but I have not seen the link your talking about...where is it exactly?

[Guest rmj7]

Ah ha. How bout sum advise from an 18 year old who doesn't know anything? He he.

First off, I totally agree absolutely on what sagz was saying on all parts.

I used to think being single was the worst thing. Especially at my age. People my age still have this naive thinking that there must be sumthin wrong with you if you're single. We still think we have to have somebody wrapped around our arms and all.

However, like sagz tried to explain, I think this is perhaps the most vital point in a Christians life when he or she is single. The apostle, Paul knew this as well. He knew that if we are single, we can have our total attention on God and not have to worry about anyone else. When we are with someone, however, we must find time for that special someone as well.

Now, I've only been in love once in my life, and I've only had my heart broken once as well. It is QUITE the experience, I must say. I see the way I used to think back then, and how I think now, and I still struggle with finding time to think about God. SIgh, shameful.

But anyway, I don't think there's anything wrong with tryin to "go out and look" pursey, however, I hope you're not the sort who goes out looking desperately because you just HAVE to be with someone.

I used to think the same way, but then I eventually grew close enough to God to the point where I could verbally say that if I never did find someone in my life, I would still be okay because God is MORE than enough for me.

As for your still looking for someone even though you've already been married: I don't think anyone should hold that against you. The apostle Paul adressed this issue in one of his letters also....which one it was, I can't remember. My apoligies, but I assure you I've read the topic somewhere in one of his letters. ( I hope you will take the time to find out for yourself. )

But anyway, Paul said not to hold it against people who are still of young age and all if they still wish to get married again. Now, since you have three kids, I dunno how old you are, but you should know if you are,...ahem, young or not....

Just remember, "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and HIs righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you." Be happy where you are in life now, and God may bless you with even more.

God doesn't raise "spoiled" children. He's not the type to give out the nice "candy" we want until we finish our "veggies". Know what I'm sayin?