Do you have resentment to towards a person?

[None]

If somebody does not treat you with respect do you resent them?

No. You pray for them. This does not mean you have to let them into your life and certainly not befriend someone who constantly uses, abuses or hurts you in some way.

I love the saying "He who angers you controls you!"

If a person is hurting a child in front of you and you get angry, I'd hardly say you are under his power.

Was Jesus being controlled by someone when He was angrily casting people out of the Temple? No.

That phrase makes no sense whatsoever.

[Kansasfamily]

If somebody does not treat you with respect do you resent them?

No. You pray for them. This does not mean you have to let them into your life and certainly not befriend someone who constantly uses, abuses or hurts you in some way.

I love the saying "He who angers you controls you!"

If a person is hurting a child in front of you and you get angry, I'd hardly say you are under his power.

Was Jesus being controlled by someone when He was angrily casting people out of the Temple? No.

That phrase makes no sense whatsoever.

I wouldn't say that "He who angers you controls you" as there is righteous indignation. But it is surely true that a person that you are bitter toward controls you because you spend all your time with your focus on that person. And what's really funny is that if you end up really bitter toward a person and you focus all your attention on that person, you will become like the object of your focus. You may not do exactly what that person does, but you will pick up their root attitudes. And to make matters worse is that bitterness spills out onto everyone that you come into contact with and shows on a person's face.

[None]

If somebody does not treat you with respect do you resent them?

No. You pray for them. This does not mean you have to let them into your life and certainly not befriend someone who constantly uses, abuses or hurts you in some way.

I love the saying "He who angers you controls you!"

If a person is hurting a child in front of you and you get angry, I'd hardly say you are under his power.

Was Jesus being controlled by someone when He was angrily casting people out of the Temple? No.

That phrase makes no sense whatsoever.

I wouldn't say that "He who angers you controls you" as there is righteous indignation. But it is surely true that a person that you are bitter toward controls you because you spend all your time with your focus on that person. And what's really funny is that if you end up really bitter toward a person and you focus all your attention on that person, you will become like the object of your focus. You may not do exactly what that person does, but you will pick up their root attitudes. And to make matters worse is that bitterness spills out onto everyone that you come into contact with and shows on a person's face.

I completely agree with you. Bitterness is very ugly and I believe it seperates you from having a good relationship with God.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind and soul and love your neighbor as yourself."

When you love everyone the same, God showers you with His perfect love.

I used to work with the elderly and I've, personally, never seen bitterness on a person's face; sadness, loneliness, hardships, happiness, peace...I've seen these and they tell a beautiful story, each one a good lesson. I'm convinced, but I could be wrong, that bitter people don't last very long on this earth. Bitterness is unhealthy, among more important reasons.

[FighterforJC]

Hi FighterforJC!

What you did was right. What you did was good. You protected your marriage and your family. I believe that's what God would have had you to do!

The problem is not in what you DID, it's in what's in your heart now. When we hold anger in our heart for someone else, we don't have peace. From what you've posted about your situation with this man, it's pretty evident you hold anger towards him. I think the people who have posted regarding your situation are telling you that the peace will come when forgiveness happens on your part.

You said you didn't know what God wanted you to learn from this. Maybe He wants you to learn how to forgive the unforgiveable. Does he deserve your forgiveness? No. Do you deserve the peace that comes from forgiveness? Yes!!! It ain't gonna happen overnight, and it ain't gonna happen at all unless you desire it. And, I don't think you'll even desire it without God giving that desire to you. Pray for it. Even if you don't mean it. God's desire is for you to forgive. He will give you the desire if you ask. Maybe start with asking for the desire to have the desire to ask !

I pray the best for you, my friend. I also commend you for protecting your family! Loving and protecting your family, IMO, is the best a man can do to please God. Keep the faith, and KNOW that God is with you, whatever you chose to do.

Peace.

Yeah I have my good days when I even feel like restoring our friendship. Then reality hits, and unfortunately anger is attached to it. I would love to be totally free of resentment, I don't enjoy staying mad. It's not going to happen overnight, but I do pray that I can one day just leave it in the past with no resentment and just move on.

[Guest lija]

I have trouble with forgiveness in the way that Jesus says that we are expected to suffer for doing good.

In my life, I have to submit myself to my husband who is an unbeliever and he hates God. He has a bad temper and gets easily angered. we married as unbelievers. However, praise God he has improved a lot but still has outbursts. So I have to continually forgive him but I feel bitter because he doesnt understand the pain that he causes and often cant apologize.

On one hand you hear people say we ought to forgive unendingly and then you hear that we need boundaries to protect ourselves from harsh people (but I dont think boundaries are biblical???) So I am confused. Boundaries seem ok for other realtionships besides a marriage and for slaves.

Under the title "Submission to Rulers and Masters" 1 Peter 13-20 states "Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect,,,to those who are harsh also,,,But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and endure it, this is comendable before God" and then it says under wives and husbands "Wives, in the same way, be submissive to your husbands" (in the same way =concerning slaves!!!???)

Any input ? This is my first chatroom ever and my first time here.

Edited July 5, 2007 by lija

[Scarletprayers]

I have trouble with forgiveness in the way that Jesus says that we are expected to suffer for doing good.

In my life, I have to submit myself to my husband who is an unbeliever and he hates God. He has a bad temper and gets easily angered. we married as unbelievers. However, praise God he has improved a lot but still has outbursts. So I have to continually forgive him but I feel bitter because he doesnt understand the pain that he causes and often cant apologize.

On one hand you hear people say we ought to forgive unendingly and then you hear that we need boundaries to protect ourselves from harsh people (but I dont think boundaries are biblical???) So I am confused. Boundaries seem ok for other realtionships besides a marriage and for slaves.

Under the title "Submission to Rulers and Masters" 1 Peter 13-20 states "Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect,,,to those who are harsh also,,,But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and endure it, this is comendable before God" and then it says under wives and husbands Wives, in the same way, be submissive to your husbands (in the same ways as the above paragraph sconcerning slaves!!!???)

Any input ? This is my first chatroom ever and my first time here.

Welcome to Worthy!

[HouseofGrace]

How do you deal with resentment?

I have always though that I dealt with resentment and offences, and I took pride in it that I handled myself well. Oh how deceived I was. Pushing hurt down and pretend that nothing happened is a master plan for destruction.