should Pastors/Deacons make you feel guilty....

[PamD]

If you were at one service why would you stick around for the second? Most churches I know with more then one service are the same sermon.

as for the 'satanic influence'...well like Marnie said, give me a break!

[Guest ruah]

should Pastors/Deacons make you feel guilty if you don't attend their sermons?

Sometimes that can come off as a control issue verses them "caring."

for example....if I was a Pastor and told you that "you should attend church

because that should be your first priority and theres no reason why you should

not attend." Am I wrong for saying that?

when does it cross the line from "caring" to "controling."

this happens quite a bit. what does everyone think?

[exrockstar]

I would not let this fester. The enemy will use anything he can to drive in a wedge.

I would go to this person, one on one, tell them what they said to you offended you, and why. Perhaps they did not mean it that way or they were having a bad day. Perhaps the two of you can come to an understanding.

i was told to do that from my friend that was standing next to me when this happened.

i acually walked away from him in the middle of his sentence when he started talking like

that. i needed to get away before i said something i'd regreat. it caught me off guard.

im going to let some time pass.

thank you sir.

kittylover: i have a stong character and have outgrown the world. i actually enjoy studying so i dont

think i'd ever leave. as for the gap between services...trust me...we all feel like its long. lol. this is

not a new. the reason they have two is because sometimes they keep some things out due to time

and may want to finish it up on the 2nd sermon.

imma hang in there. i just feel overwhelemed right now with many things.

[dugmando]

Hi Ex,

I see that you have gotten many good answers already and what I consider the best of best responses to not let anything fester.

First and foremost by all means do not let anything fester between you and this person,

Secondly I would hope a Pastor would never intentionally cause someone to feel guilty about coming to church or attending a certain service even though that does happen.

Personally I am an a Pastor on staff at my church and I admit at times when I have been blessed to be able to stand before our congregation and Minister I have worried about who was going to be there or if anybody was going to be there especially when they found out I was speaking.

At times I admit, I have gotten hurt because some tend "to miss or be busy" now honestly that happens some of the time because of pride or as in my case simply because I have dealt with feelings of being inadequate and unworthiness.

My past had a lot to do with those feelings and I am glad that Jesus has given me Victory over this, I am Blessed to be given an opportunity to Minister and God has Ministered to me through many Great Men to realize this.

A True Pastor is often called a Shepherd and rightfully so He is, as Shepherd He has a Mandate and Command from God to care for our souls.

Often times when a Pastor does His duty this can be with a gentle touch or with a correcting rod and very often misunderstood and unwanted, I never could figure out why my Dad whooped me so hard until I got my own children then I figured out how wise my Dad was.

I've heard many people say terrible and disrespectful things about Pastors, a person who has dedicated their life to seeing others make it to Heaven, friend I simply don't understand that.

I would by all means give this person the respect of praying for understanding between them and yourself and then go to them and spelling out how I felt, I trust my Pastor enough to believe that He would hear me out.

He may not agree but He would at the very least want me to come to Him with my concerns.

Frankly if He ever found out that any of His sheep had a problem with something He said or did and they did not come to Him and bring it to His attention He would be very very hurt.

Might I add He is not above making a mistake and freely admits so, why because He is only human.

A sinner saved by Grace called by God to Lead others to God and Jesus Christ.

Doug-E

Edited June 25, 2007 by dugmando

[Guest Dancing_For_God]

First, there are reasons why you can't attend church at times. Illness, people are allowed to go on vacations occasionally, etc. I think it is a pastor's job to lovingly guide his church. I think a more appropriate thing for him to say would be something like, "We've missed you in church lately. Is everything ok?" I think people are a lot more affective with kind words.

Proverbs 15:1 "A soft answer turneth away wrath; but grievous words stir up anger."

[undone]

It's always been my understanding that a deacons job is to take away some of the work load of the pastor. Visitations, feild complaints, ....etc. I've never been under the impression that they should play the role of 'holy spirit'.

It's one thing to express concern as why they haven't seen you in a while. As a matter of fact, I'd say it's important to manage the church body to show you care that they're gone.

But to try a pass a guilt trip off on someone is just plain wrong. I think guys like this are on a self righteous power trip and need to climb off their high horse.

My teenage daughter was helping with VBS this summer, and one them asked her if she was going to camp. She said no she couldn't that she had plans. He tried to make her feel bad by saying, "yeah, I had plans to but I felt God was more important". She left VBS in tears.

Truth is, she's going to Washington DC for a Baptist Youth Leadership Conference. The guy was being a short sighted, insensitive jerk. MY KID WAS THE ONLY HIGH SCHOOL AGED KID SERVING AT VBS!

Some people...

[undone]

On the other hand, it can go the other way. People can be overly judgmental of their church leaders and put them under a microscope and in a fish bowl.