Dealing With Nasty People

[Guest]

I was on a tech forum, and I posted a problem I was having with my video card not wanting to play nice with Linux. The technical problem has since been cleared up, but there was another problem in the process. While most of the responses were helpful, one guy or gal was a total jerk.

This person's post was basically "get a real video card instead of the junk you are using" type of reply.

Not real helpful, and I have to confess that my response to his post wasn't exactly "Christlike". I basically replied that if he wanted me to have a new video card, he could send the $500 or so for it, or he could shut up. I apologized later, but at the time it seemed SO appropriate! (And yeah, it felt really great at the time too. )

One of the reasons for that reaction is that I've spent about the last 8-10 years living hand-to-mouth, and although I'm grateful to the Lord for keeping me going, it gets real old. I tend to react badly to folks like that who thoughtlessly say things like the above, or "oh, just go out and buy a new one." It's a sore spot. I try to be reasonable about hardware and other things, and I don't need a $500 video card, so please, its not about envy.

I'd just like to handle this type of thing better, more like Jesus would, rather than biting someone's head off.

BTW: It is NOT my intention to start a discussion on the "prosperity gospel." That's for another thread.

[ladypeartree]

been there sooooo many times and we NEVER get it quite right do we .

My response now tends to be along the lines of " well thank you for that bit of advice I assume you are having almost as bad a day as I am and that you too will regret not being more helpful later especially if this is one of the calls that is recorded for quality and training purposes ...maybe if you are unable to help me it may be easier if you pass this call to someone who can ?"

It normally works and they stop and think before they reply

[Scarletprayers]

there are nasty people everywhere, even here sometimes.............and sometimes I've joined the club. Not proud of it, but it happens............I think you handled it right, when it hits you that your being a jerk also, just apologize and keep going.

[treasured]

I think those times are tests for us to grow.....and if we don't pass we find ourselves going through similar situations again....I found that to be true when I worked in a Christian bookstore. I assuming that everyone that came in was a Christian ....or those trying to walk the walk... One lady would come in and talk down to the owner (who is such a lovely lady) like she knew everything and the owner hadn't a clue....which would irritate me!!!... I would say "How can you be so sweet to her?" ......She said "She is on her Christian journey and may have had a start or bend I never had".. ....(never thought of that).!....One time the lady came in with a new c.d. and book that she just bought at the other Christian bookstore (she made sure to tell us)...then opened the c.d. and asked the owner to play it for her to listen to while she read her book.! .... I again voiced my irritation to the owner after the lady left.!..The owner then told me something I remember every time I meet someone that irritates me...she said..... "I think she is the 'holy sandpaper' God sent into your path to knock of some of your rough edges to make you into what He wants"

[Scarletprayers]

I think those times are tests for us to grow.....and if we don't pass we find ourselves going through similar situations again....I found that to be true when I worked in a Christian bookstore. I assuming that everyone that came in was a Christian ....or those trying to walk the walk... One lady would come in and talk down to the owner (who is such a lovely lady) like she knew everything and the owner hadn't a clue....which would irritate me!!!... I would say "How can you be so sweet to her?" ......She said "She is on her Christian journey and may have had a start or bend I never had".. ....(never thought of that).!....One time the lady came in with a new c.d. and book that she just bought at the other Christian bookstore (she made sure to tell us)...then opened the c.d. and asked the owner to play it for her to listen to while she read her book.! .... I again voiced my irritation to the owner after the lady left.!..The owner then told me something I remember every time I meet someone that irritates me...she said..... "I think she is the 'holy sandpaper' God sent into your path to knock of some of your rough edges to make you into what He wants"

Excellent treasured! And I'll have to remember that last line.................

[Carol R]

I think those times are tests for us to grow.....and if we don't pass we find ourselves going through similar situations again....I found that to be true when I worked in a Christian bookstore. I assuming that everyone that came in was a Christian ....or those trying to walk the walk... One lady would come in and talk down to the owner (who is such a lovely lady) like she knew everything and the owner hadn't a clue....which would irritate me!!!... I would say "How can you be so sweet to her?" ......She said "She is on her Christian journey and may have had a start or bend I never had".. ....(never thought of that).!....One time the lady came in with a new c.d. and book that she just bought at the other Christian bookstore (she made sure to tell us)...then opened the c.d. and asked the owner to play it for her to listen to while she read her book.! .... I again voiced my irritation to the owner after the lady left.!..The owner then told me something I remember every time I meet someone that irritates me...she said..... "I think she is the 'holy sandpaper' God sent into your path to knock of some of your rough edges to make you into what He wants"

MMMM food for thought Eh I need to remember that last line too.

Carol R

[Sconzy]

I would probable responded like you too. But hey this Gospel is helping us to cover our sores without it where would we be?

[Ryal]

I am hot headed. I take offense to too many things and instead of talking in a normal like fashion, I turn into a mean old lady. What I have learned from being in the Marine Corps is that you can't take things personaly. You really can't take offense to what people say especially if they don't mean anything to you. People are people and talk is talk. Being polite and stern will get you furthur in any conversation than being mean. Take a deep breath and let it roll off your shoulders. You will come across alot more of this type of stuff from rude people but don't take it personaly!!!

[Guest]

I think those times are tests for us to grow.....and if we don't pass we find ourselves going through similar situations again....I found that to be true when I worked in a Christian bookstore. I assuming that everyone that came in was a Christian ....or those trying to walk the walk... One lady would come in and talk down to the owner (who is such a lovely lady) like she knew everything and the owner hadn't a clue....which would irritate me!!!... I would say "How can you be so sweet to her?" ......She said "She is on her Christian journey and may have had a start or bend I never had".. ....(never thought of that).!....One time the lady came in with a new c.d. and book that she just bought at the other Christian bookstore (she made sure to tell us)...then opened the c.d. and asked the owner to play it for her to listen to while she read her book.! .... I again voiced my irritation to the owner after the lady left.!..The owner then told me something I remember every time I meet someone that irritates me...she said..... "I think she is the 'holy sandpaper' God sent into your path to knock of some of your rough edges to make you into what He wants"

Excellent! Never thought of it that way either, I'll have to remember the last line too!

[Guest]

I am hot headed. I take offense to too many things and instead of talking in a normal like fashion, I turn into a mean old lady. What I have learned from being in the Marine Corps is that you can't take things personaly. You really can't take offense to what people say especially if they don't mean anything to you. People are people and talk is talk. Being polite and stern will get you furthur in any conversation than being mean. Take a deep breath and let it roll off your shoulders. You will come across alot more of this type of stuff from rude people but don't take it personaly!!!

I learned a lot about not taking things personally in the military too. I'm retired Air Force, and on several occasions had a general or two, and one Congressman up in face screaming because I'd grounded their aircraft for safety reasons. Needless to say, I was in aircraft maintenance!

How I wound up where I'm at in life is a long story, but the Lord has always been there for me. There are just times when "the burr under the saddle" (about the finances, etc.) starts getting really, really old. People can be jerks, like that guy was and sometimes I tend to "go ballistic." I got a reply via PM from the guy, though. He apologized for saying what he did, and posted it in the thread where all that started (that I didn't expect!), so I did the old copy/paste and did the same. The part I didn't post was his admission that he'd had "a few too many beers" while surfing when he posted.

Guess its not good to drink and surf, either.