The Biblical View regarding Divorce

[Guest LadyC]

suzanne, i am in absolute agreement with what we teach our children about marriage. i'm also in absolute agreement with you in that we should teach our children that divorce IS detestable to God.

and we're also in agreement that children will readily state that divorce is acceptable. it's not. the church, and the parents, should instill in their children that it is not, except in the case of adultery.

where i disagree with you is that (if i'm understanding your last sentence correctly) by teaching them that God's forgiveness extends to those who have been divorced and remarried, we aren't planting seeds of a divorce mentality. if we've done our jobs properly, we've already laid the firm foundation that divorce is not acceptable. (in fact, we have taught them that SIN is unacceptable, and that none are righteous on our own power, but only through the work of Jesus Christ. that's important... ALL SIN is unacceptable. there is no way WE can ever justify our own sinfulness. God alone grants justification. it's up to us to work on the sanctification process.)

part of that is preparing them with the knowledge that marital relationships take a great deal of work and effort, and that just because both spouses are christian (assuming that is the case), that doesn't mean it's going to be a bed of roses. the romance will fade, the butterflies will disappear, and the love will morph into something that is beyond infatuation. it is essential that they understand what love really is, and what it isn't... and that means it isn't just an emotional connection. true love is a commitment to overcoming adversity together, even when we feel like there is nothing left . it is a commitment to ALWAYS putting God first, spouse second, and self last. and if we do that, then the marriage will not fail. in fact, i'd go so far as to say as long as both spouses have that frame of reference, divorce is impossible... and that is why the biblical model of marriage is so critical to teach.

the reason i brought myself into it personally is because you're right. we live in a culture of rampant divorce. our children need desparately to understand the issue of grace in conjunction with this. it's not optional, it's necessary, otherwise they'll grow up with confusion and doubt in God's grace in all areas, because as they grow to adulthood, they will meet many christians who have been divorced and remarried.

and i also brought myself into it to hopefully encourage you to examine this issue on a deeper level, with a great deal of prayer. i have no doubt you have examined it deeply, and with prayer.... however, there's nothing wrong with revisiting the issue with God, either. now, you KNOW me... not personally in real life, but you and i know enough about each other that i think you would believe that i am a christian, that i do know Christ as my personal saviour, and that i will one day live in heaven. and yet i was divorced on unbiblical grounds. i was a christian long before i married my first husband, we were both guilty of adultery, and i filed for divorce. if we discount the passage where God states that one who is loosed has not sinned if they marry, then by all rights, i am never going to attain the status of heir to the thrown with Christ.

so taking that into account, (1. that i was saved, 2. that i strayed from God, 3. that i divorced my husband, 4. that i repented, turned my life over to God and was restored fully to Him, 5. that my former husband is still alive and yet i am remarried, and 6.) that i AM a christian, and will not be eternally separated from God), there has to be a missing piece of the puzzle. either i'm not really saved (justified) and that sanctification is a waste of time, or scripture contradicts itself.

UNLESS we take that passage into account.

if our children don't understand that God's grace is not limited to a very small group of people who have remained married to one spouse for life, then they will grow up doubting the salvation of many people who can be very beneficial to their spiritual growth... and they'll likely always doubt their own eternal security if they err.

so i think, if it's alright with you, we can now ask that this thread be closed... i'm not going to change your mind, nor will you change mine. but i am going to ask that neither of us close our MINDS to the topic, even if the thread is closed.... and that we both spend time really seeking God's wisdom on this issue... because without His wisdom, anything we teach our children is in vain.

shall we agree to that?

Edited July 28, 2007 by LadyC

[Guest LadyC]

sorry, i meant to address this question.

In regard to "grace" which do you believe is more loving to a child?..................giving a strong foundation on which to approach the covenant of marriage or keep the divorce clause in tact which is what we have continued to do?

iti is more loving to teach them the entire scope of God's love. the two are not exclusive of one another. we can give them a strong foundation on which to approach the covenant of marriage, WITHOUT keeping this 'divorce clause' in tact, while still teaching them that a sinner (even in this area) can be restored.

You keep addressing the divorce issue from an unbelievers viewpoint, and I want to address it from a believer's viewpoint. If my children are believers, and they marry believers, would there be room for divorce? In what case?

i've actually been addressing the issue of divorce from a believer's viewpoint. but i went into more depth with it in my last post.

[tsth]

That is fine LadyC. There were a couple of comments you made, that in an open thread, I would have addressed, but were I to do it here it would take this thread off topic, I'm afraid.

So, I'll agree to the close of this thread.

In His Love,

Suzanne