Biblical Reasons for Divorce?

[Believer1997]

I'm glad you were able to turn your life and marriage around, Professor.

It does not happen that way all the time. I chose to live and make sure my children were safe and free from experiencing the daily torture of being with someone who was controlling, abusive and hateful.

Most certainly it dont' happen that way all the time.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not passing any kind of judgement on anyone about this. Well, to an extent I'm not. But, I don't know every circumstance, and I know there are some dire situations that happen, either as a result of drugs and alcohol, or just some men being blatantly evil.

There are ways out of divorce if you seek them,, such as, adultery, or having a spouse that's not a believer. The "commands" to the believer to stay with the unbeliever were from Paul, not the Lord, as he stated, "I say, not the Lord".

But, in my opinion every effort should be exhausted even including seperation for years upon years before a divorce is sought after.

No doubt the safety of the munchkins is top priority. I'm sure if I were a woman and in that situation I would leave. But as for a personal resolution, I would not divorce.

However, I'm sure I would leave my wife if she ever cheated on me. But, even then It would depend on the circumstances. While I was a drunk, if my wife cheated on me, I would've understood, cause I wasn't there physicaly or emotionaly, as a husband or a friend. And if some seductive stranger came along and she lost control, I couldn't blame her.

I forgave everything - the abuse, the infidelity, the betrayals of trust, etc. The separation was years long. I never had an interest in divorce - my interest was in the safety, physical, mental and spiritual well-being of my children - I just waited for God to show me the way and He did. It is easy to say what we would and would not do in any particular situation but until you are actually faced with the reality - you do not know what you'd do. No one does. Blessings.

[Arthur Durnan]

Was the Prodigal Son any less the son of his father while he (the son) was in the Far Country? And did our Lord give "disillusioned acid-headism" as a reason for divorce? If we start putting our own reasons for departure, shouldn't those manifold reasons be inserted intoeach & every Marriage Ceremony in the interests, quite correctly, of truth, reality and openness? And aren't far too many Christioan marriages today like unto "Hollywood (better, HellyWeirdo) Marriages": Excellent ways to spend the weekend? Christian marriages are supposed to be covenants, not conveniences, are they not?

[Believer1997]

Was the Prodigal Son any less the son of his father while he (the son) was in the Far Country? And did our Lord give "disillusioned acid-headism" as a reason for divorce? If we start putting our own reasons for departure, shouldn't those manifold reasons be inserted intoeach & every Marriage Ceremony in the interests, quite correctly, of truth, reality and openness? And aren't far too many Christioan marriages today like unto "Hollywood (better, HellyWeirdo) Marriages": Excellent ways to spend the weekend? Christian marriages are supposed to be covenants, not conveniences, are they not?

Dearest Arthur,

I am fairly certain, were you to read the entire thread - that no one has stated that marriages are for "convenience".

[Smalcald]

Love must guide our actions.

The first responsibility of a mother is toward her children and her family. Divorce is given as an option in scripture for these very reasons.

However divorce is not allowed in scripture simply because we are unhappy or unfullfilled or feel we don't love someone or more likely we want to love someone else. Adultery-divorce-remarriage is not an option for a Christian.

However, the case of Believer is why Christians like Believer are allowed to divorce.

[Axxman]

However divorce is not allowed in scripture simply because we are unhappy or unfullfilled or feel we don't love someone or more likely we want to love someone else. Adultery-divorce-remarriage is not an option for a Christian.

Of course it is an option. Its like saying "Listening to the Rolling Stones is not an option for a Christian." Well, yeah actually it is. What exactly is the punishment for getting a divorce?

Now, while I would certainly like to see more commitment to marriage amongst Christians...I think we've all witnessed enough divorce to realize that God isn't exactly striking people dead for finding happiness in their divorced status. My ex-wife has now been divorced twice and she is happily married for the third time...until she is unhappy again...and as far as I can tell God hasn't stripped her of salvation. My immediate family has been ravaged by divorce. My mom & dad, me, my brother, my sister all divorced and/or married a divorcee...still chugging right along, all happier than they were before their divorces.

Furthermore...there is only one verse in the bible that 'implies' that marriage is forever. "'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.

[Arthur Durnan]

One guesses that a pig's ear could be made out of practically anything, yes? Pray tell, if divorce & remarriage is acceptable once, why not twice or thrice or ANY number for the Christian who divorces the first time? Why is divorce acceptable one time but not three or four or the Larry King number of what, eight times? How can one argue for one marital break-up & remarriage but not argue for it times without number? It hardly goes without saying that serial polygamy is hardly the divine order. BTW, isn't Christ's lasting faithfulness to us (IE, "I'll never leave thee nor forsake thee") the divine underpinning for lifetime marital faithfulnes? Or is Christian marriage still akin in many & increasing quarters (including in the Church) to a Hollywood marriage: A great way to spend a weekend? Aren't the words of Jesus Christ & the Apostle on Holy Matrimony divine commandments? Again res ipsa loquitor indeed.

[Smalcald]

However divorce is not allowed in scripture simply because we are unhappy or unfullfilled or feel we don't love someone or more likely we want to love someone else. Adultery-divorce-remarriage is not an option for a Christian.

Of course it is an option. Its like saying "Listening to the Rolling Stones is not an option for a Christian." Well, yeah actually it is. What exactly is the punishment for getting a divorce?

Now, while I would certainly like to see more commitment to marriage amongst Christians...I think we've all witnessed enough divorce to realize that God isn't exactly striking people dead for finding happiness in their divorced status. My ex-wife has now been divorced twice and she is happily married for the third time...until she is unhappy again...and as far as I can tell God hasn't stripped her of salvation. My immediate family has been ravaged by divorce. My mom & dad, me, my brother, my sister all divorced and/or married a divorcee...still chugging right along, all happier than they were before their divorces.

Furthermore...there is only one verse in the bible that 'implies' that marriage is forever. "'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.

[Axxman]

The punishment for living in un-repented sin is spelled out in Galatians; those who practice such things will not inherit the Kingdom of heaven. As you point out; Christ said that God joins two people in marriage not man, He indeed said it was for life, so yes the concept of a lifelong vow is VERY much in scripture. Why can't we do this one thing for God? We say we would die for Christ, yet we won't do this, we can't handle a little unahappiness, we can't handle not having sex with different people, that is too hard?

If your ex-wife is totally living in un-repented sin (I do not know this) and refusing to repent of her adultey; she can be happy as a clam and be going to hell, being happy has nothing to do with salvation or not. We show our faith through our life; a person who is saved does not commit and live in sin without repentance a person who lives in sin without repentance does not have faith in Christ, regardless of what they say or how they feel.

So getting a divorce is a sin? And getting remarried sends you to hell? So in order to get right with God...I technically must repent and abandon my wife and kids...is that all? Are there any other "works based" salvation rules that I need to know about? Is my hair too long? lol

I don't have to stay in a crap marriage for God...lol. Do this 'one thing" for God? Seriously? I would die to prove my faith in Christ. The bible says we must stand up for Him, or He will not stand for us. It doesn't say that if you divorce your druggie husband, Jesus will divorce you. God doesn't join EVERYONE is marriage...where is that in the bible? Why would God join me with a girl who loved everyone but me and then left me? And here I thought i was just a baad judge of character...but you're telling me God did it to me. And now he's mad cause I divorced her...LOL! Oh wait...no he's not cause that is one of the exceptions apparently. He's mad at me cuz...I couldn't suffer enough for Jesus. Then I had the nerve to fall in love again...and so God joined me in marriage again (because he apparently does that to all marriages whether He wants to or not)...and now He's mad at me cause I won't repent from that. Boy...this is some web His 'limited' love has.

My ex-wife is closer to God in her third marriage than she ever was with me. But I'll make sure to send her a note that we have to repent and get back together if we are ever to stand a chance with God's love.

(BTW...I used to stand on that soapbox you are preaching from. The fall is alot higher and painful than it looks from up there.)

[Axxman]

One guesses that a pig's ear could be made out of practically anything, yes? Pray tell, if divorce & remarriage is acceptable once, why not twice or thrice or ANY number for the Christian who divorces the first time? Why is divorce acceptable one time but not three or four or the Larry King number of what, eight times? How can one argue for one marital break-up & remarriage but not argue for it times without number? It hardly goes without saying that serial polygamy is hardly the divine order. BTW, isn't Christ's lasting faithfulness to us (IE, "I'll never leave thee nor forsake thee") the divine underpinning for lifetime marital faithfulnes? Or is Christian marriage still akin in many & increasing quarters (including in the Church) to a Hollywood marriage: A great way to spend a weekend? Aren't the words of Jesus Christ & the Apostle on Holy Matrimony divine commandments? Again res ipsa loquitor indeed.

Excellent point Arthur! There is no 'real' punishment no matter how many times you fail at marriage. Polygamy is NOT the devine order...but lets ask Odan about his refusal to sleep with his brothers widow. God sure showed him...right? I don't quite get how you can compare Christ's commitment to that of a worldly arrangement. Hmmm...I know your a horrible spouse who steals my drugs, or cheats on me, or hits me, or makes me suicidal....but golly...Jesus won't leave me...so I'll hang out with you in misery. I don't seem to re-call that spiritual connection....but like you said with the "pigs ear"...you can make anything fit.

We are not talking about "Hollywood marriages"...maybe thats why its so hard for the goody two-shoes to grasp the commentary here! We are talking about real people with real hurts and pains. We are talking about a woman who is living in abject misery because of her spouse...not a "great way to spend a weekend!!!" It is nothing less than insulting to compare the real trials and hurts of those who have been abused, and cheated on, and abandoned, as a weakness on their part to commit or live a Godly fruitful life.

[Smalcald]

The punishment for living in un-repented sin is spelled out in Galatians; those who practice such things will not inherit the Kingdom of heaven. As you point out; Christ said that God joins two people in marriage not man, He indeed said it was for life, so yes the concept of a lifelong vow is VERY much in scripture. Why can't we do this one thing for God? We say we would die for Christ, yet we won't do this, we can't handle a little unahappiness, we can't handle not having sex with different people, that is too hard?

If your ex-wife is totally living in un-repented sin (I do not know this) and refusing to repent of her adultey; she can be happy as a clam and be going to hell, being happy has nothing to do with salvation or not. We show our faith through our life; a person who is saved does not commit and live in sin without repentance a person who lives in sin without repentance does not have faith in Christ, regardless of what they say or how they feel.

So getting a divorce is a sin? And getting remarried sends you to hell? So in order to get right with God...I technically must repent and abandon my wife and kids...is that all? Are there any other "works based" salvation rules that I need to know about? Is my hair too long? lol

I don't have to stay in a crap marriage for God...lol. Do this 'one thing" for God? Seriously? I would die to prove my faith in Christ. The bible says we must stand up for Him, or He will not stand for us. It doesn't say that if you divorce your druggie husband, Jesus will divorce you. God doesn't join EVERYONE is marriage...where is that in the bible? Why would God join me with a girl who loved everyone but me and then left me? And here I thought i was just a baad judge of character...but you're telling me God did it to me. And now he's mad cause I divorced her...LOL! Oh wait...no he's not cause that is one of the exceptions apparently. He's mad at me cuz...I couldn't suffer enough for Jesus. Then I had the nerve to fall in love again...and so God joined me in marriage again (because he apparently does that to all marriages whether He wants to or not)...and now He's mad at me cause I won't repent from that. Boy...this is some web His 'limited' love has.

My ex-wife is closer to God in her third marriage than she ever was with me. But I'll make sure to send her a note that we have to repent and get back together if we are ever to stand a chance with God's love.

(BTW...I used to stand on that soapbox you are preaching from. The fall is alot higher and painful than it looks from up there.)

I never said getting a divorce is a sin, it is not a sin. Of course you should not abandon your children. I am assuming if you did sin in your last divorce you repented of that sin and you are washed clean. However I did say that living in un-repentant adultery is a sin which is from scripture directly. When we cheat over and over again, if in your case you cheat on your current wife and leaver her when she is begging you to stay, how does that show you have repented of anything, how does that show any sorrow for you sins? Planned repentance is not any sort of repentance. If you robbed a bank and wanted to repent, would you still keep the money? Where do you get this theology you seem to be going for?

But yes unhappiness is not a reason for divorce, we know the reasons that Christ gave for divorce, being unhappy and "unfulfilled" is not on that list. I doubt very much given that you would not do these very small things for Christ (not be happy in marriage etc. or a