I Love You

[Redefine_Me]

Hello all. This is an interesting topic and as some others have said, it is hard for me to comment without knowing what your past issues have been and what area of service you are wanting to serve in. I'm speaking here as a person, and not on scriptural reference, per se, but for example, if a person had issues with pedophelia or child molestation, I would expect them not to serve in one of the children's ministries - and I would expect my pastor to feel the same. That's just an extreme example that enters my mind as I reflect on this. Please, I'm not saying at all that your situation is anything like that, it was just an extreme/clear example of why a person's service area might be limited.

There are sooooo many areas of service in a church. If this church is truly where you feel the Lord is calling you to be, then perhaps you could talk to the pastor again and find an area you both mutually agree on and feel led to through prayer together. One thing, pastors are human too, and have responsibility to the entire congregation. So, perhaps if you served in another area for a time and could "prove" (I hate to use that word, but I can't think of another) your intent.

Also, pray pray pray about it. Go back to your pastor and ask to pray together for the Lord's guidance in this.

Just my 2 cents worth.

[ray]

Shalom,

Without knowing more details, such as What area of ministry you are talking about or WHY he has told you that you can't participate (it may have nothing to do with your past sins), no one here can really comment on your question.

Taking legal action against your church for not putting you in ministry? That makes no sense Biblically. Someone serving in ministry is a servant and they are there because G-D called them there. And the servant does not force his way into a position of serving.

Not to mention the Bible forbids legal action against another Christian.

Have you prayed and asked the L-rd if HE wants you in this area of service? You only want to be there if G-d has called you there.

Anyway, I would suggest you speak to the man who told you this, get all his reasons and check the out Biblically. According to Matthew 18.

If you are dissatisfied with his reasons, go to his authority in the church - the Pastor and explain the situation. Again, Matthew 18.

If you get no satisfaction there, you have other options, Matthew 18.

Ok I have read matthew 18. I'm not sure why you need spefics sin is sin regardles of deed. My past is in the past and I have no sin aginst anyone to my or their knowlesge.

No my life was not always perfect growing up but than whose was? The Bible tells us that we all sinners and fall short of the glory of God.

Should a person who has been divorced and remaried be able to teach children or serve in a role of leadership? Should a smoker who sin against his own body be allowed serve comunion? Should a drug addicted person be refused to leads worship if they have gotten straight and proven have soberity for several years?

The bible may be right in that i should not take legal action aginst my fellow brother or sister in Christ but I will not allow myself be walked over like a door mat either. Legal action is something far from my thought but it has been sugggested by fellow believers. Even with this advice the legal action would make us both look bad and I don't want either of us to look bad.

At the current church I'm I have shared my personal yet difficult to share testimony with about 10 people.

I have prayed about this situation for about 3 months now. I have gone to this particular pastor who has set this boundry before me twice now to confirm his decsion. I have asked him why and he is unable to give me a reason other than its not a good idea. This is kind of weak but it I respect his choice and answer although I do not agree with it. I wanted to try to work out some kind of accountability for myself but he did not want to hear it. My imperfections are more than what he can comprehend.

I'm going to the head pastor to find out if he feels the same way after sharing with him my testimony. I will have to make some hard choices after this talk but it will be the final talk because I don't the entire world to know my past which should not be of concern to everyone as long as few people aware of what is going on.

As far as the choice of ministry it was one I was willing to give up because there are so many other choice ministries that I could serve in. however, I did not realize I would miss it until I was forbidden from it. When I grew up in the church this was the only ministry I served in. However i was like the prodigal son and did some foolish things in my younger ahlf of my life, but I have returned back home. Some of the arms were open to welcome me back from sinful ways while others closed there arms and refused to me be apart of there life and have spread rumors about what I have done that were not true. I have gone through spirtual counseling, support groups, to get back on the path of righteousness. I know some people and other churches would be glad to have be service everywhere regardless of my past because they know I'm doing my best ever to serve the Lord.

[ray]

Dear ray,

As was stated earlier, without specifics as to what happened, we do not know why your pastor has made the decision he has. I don't get the impression that your pastor is willfully being "mean" to you, but had to make a call with regard to a position in the church, and the fact that you are not mentioning what it is and the specifics about it, suggests that you know what the response on this board would be.

In His Love,

Suzanne

I don't think he is being mean to me nor do I think he knows how his choice is effecting me because I don't think he is willing to fully hear me out. I have spoken with him on two seprate occasions and his answer remains the same. I wanted to try to bring a solution but he did not want to hear it.

So now I'm going to the head pastor and if his answer is the same I'm considering leaving to find a new church. I think I understand why he made his choice even though he has not explained to me. His choice has produced more neagtive than postive outcomes once I have had time to think and reflect on his choice and seekng the help from othe believers because I knew I could do this alone.

Your right I have not mentioned the spefics because there are enough people hear that know my testiomony and have read it in the other thread. And I always mixed reviews. So I'm trying to generalize everything.

[nebula]

Hey Ray -

I don't know what is in your past, so I can't say I support you in your frustration. What I mean is that I can think of some stumbling blocks that would make a person unfit for a certain type of ministry. For instance, I, as a woman, wouldn't want a man serving as a youth leader who has had a porn addiction problem. (I trust you can understand the reasons why?)

Other than that, there is one word I want you to take before the Lord in your struggle: humility.

I recall, for instance, my desire in college to go on a short-term mission trip. This desire burned in me so bad I was crying over it. But my parents clearly said, "No." Since the Scriptures are clear on obedience to parents, I knew it would be only trouble if I made plans without their permission. My prayer was that their hearts would be changed. But that isn't what the Lord did. To make a long story short, I was finally granted permission, but it was a merely 2-week trip to a ministry in Philadelphia. No, it wasn't the foreign field I desperately longed for, it wasn't the big summer trip I had desired, but the Lord meant me to be there for a reason. So I trust Him and thank Him for His hand on my life in this.

This is to say, I know the frustration of having a door closed on you when it is something in your heart to do. I know how angry and hurt you may be feeling. Therefore, I wish to encourage you to to start thanking the Lord for the discipline in your life. I know this is tough - believe me - but I have learned that the Lord at times does use others to close doors as a means of directing us. He may have another direction for you to follow, a different ministry to take part of, maybe even some more purifying to go through?

Paul encouraged us to accept hardships as discipline - not condemning punishment, but purification, the killing of our flesh . . . which we all must endure until the day we part from this life, being in this body of flesh we live in.

So this is my prayer for you:

Humility

Humility

Humility

Lord bless!

[Marnie]

I heard a sermon from my assitant pastor the other day that church should be a hospital for sinners and not a hotel for saints. IF this is true, he should love me back no matter what my past. BUT, when meeting him one on one to share and confess my faults, hurts, habits and hang-ups. He says I Love you but you can not particapte in this area of service of the church. Now I feel like I'm in the movie Beauty and the Beast and I can't go into the West Wing. He has judged me for something I'm not. I have been advised that i could take legal action but I don't want to go there.

Why do people put boundaries on Gods unconditonal love when I have done everything to get right with God by confessing my sins so that healing can begin.

I'm not sure if I want to be at this church anymore because they love me but....

God Loves me and there is not but just love

How would respond if someone told you they loved you but......

Ray, the church is NOT a hospital for sinners. Your pastor's theology of the church is askew. The church, is in fact, a place for the saints of G-d to be trained in the work of the ministry. But you are correct in that your pastor should love you regardless of your past. Beyond that, your post is nebulous. We're you wanting to serve in some capacity in your church, as a deacon or something? If that's the case, then maybe your local church constitution has bylaws that may prohibit someone who is, for example, divorced, from holding such an office. And some churches may prohibit a non-member or non-baptized member from participating in Communion. I don't agree with this, I am simply saying that some churches have their own brand of legalism. This has nothing to do with love, but with the rules of your particular church. Taking legal action against your church? That's not advised; it is contrary to G-d's Word about taking your brother to court.

[ColleenLovesMischief]

Ray as a person with a 'colorful' past as well I know where you're coming from. Once someone revealed things from my past (nothing illegal involved) I was removed from ministry. I hate sharing where I have come from because people look at me differently. Even though I am a child of God saved by grace, and who I was is no longer the child I am, somehow people knowing it changes how they see me. I just left my church of 6 yrs due to the pastor refusing to marry my fieancee and I. Accusations were made. People were mad, and none of it was true! So now we're getting married through a friend of mine who happens to be a pastor. Listen to what the head pastor has to say then pray about it. You may need to stick it out, it may be time to shake the dust from your feet. I am praying for you!

[ray]

Hey Ray -

I don't know what is in your past, so I can't say I support you in your frustration. What I mean is that I can think of some stumbling blocks that would make a person unfit for a certain type of ministry. For instance, I, as a woman, wouldn't want a man serving as a youth leader who has had a porn addiction problem. (I trust you can understand the reasons why?)

No, I don't understand. I thought I did but I don't. These same types of people do the same job professionally yet a church can not and will not let them do it for or in the Lords house or the meeting place of worship. The person has proven himself for more than 5 years why can't they go back to that ministry even if accountability for that person would be set up. I just don't get it. Set up accountability and if it looks like a situation is going to happen then take him out but at least give the person a second chance.

[ray]

Well I listened to the senior pastor and shared with him my past and he is in full agreement with assistant pastor. He did point out to me how I'm serving in other areas of the church and try to comfort me and be supportive of my issues. I have to make a tough choice now on weather or not I choose stay or leave. Its defiantly going to be hard to have to hear what he is preaching for while because I know that he does nessciarly practice what he preaches anymore. I realize he is not being mean to me but my heart is broken and I'm full of confussion about what to do next. I'm going to pray about it and try to stay with the church at least till the end of the month to see if I can handle the pain I have caused through my past life or weather or not I need to move on.

[Vickilynn]

Well I listened to the senior pastor and shared with him my past and he is in full agreement with assistant pastor. He did point out to me how I'm serving in other areas of the church and try to comfort me and be supportive of my issues. I have to make a tough choice now on weather or not I choose stay or leave. Its defiantly going to be hard to have to hear what he is preaching for while because I know that he does nessciarly practice what he preaches anymore. I realize he is not being mean to me but my heart is broken and I'm full of confussion about what to do next. I'm going to pray about it and try to stay with the church at least till the end of the month to see if I can handle the pain I have caused through my past life or weather or not I need to move on.

Shalom Ray,

As I stated before, without knowing the details that both the Assistant Pastor AND the Senior Pastor have been told, we cannot second guess them in their decision. You do need to realize that just because we are cleansed and forgiven from our past sins, there are still ramifications for them. David was forgiven for his sin, but his son still died.

I question WHY it is so important for you to serve in this ONE area (and not even sure what it is), but if you are truly SERVING, then your heart would be humble, seeking the serve where G-D has you, not where YOU want to go. Does that make sense to you?

How can you criticisize the pastor simply because he didn't do what you wanted him to do? That doesn't mean he's not practicing what he's preaching, in fact, it sounds as if he's willing to stand up for what he believes is best for the Body and for you.

Again, without knowing the details, one cannot make any determination other than speculation as to why you are being told not to serve in this one area that you are set on serving in.

But listen, the problem is not the church. The problem is not the Assistant Pastor, or even the Senior Pastor. Brother, I say this with all sincerity and gentleness, but the problem is you. A servant doesn't decide where they will serve, they are happy to serve the Master, whether it's cleaning toilets or parking cars.

Who are you wanting to serve? You or Jesus? You must ask yourself this and ask yourself why you are not willing to serve where the church wants you to serve and why you insist on trying to serve someplace where perhaps you are not to be.

If you leave this church, you will still have the issues of this to deal with and you will deal with it elsewhere.

I pray that you will seek the L-rd and humble yourself and really look at what SERVING is. It's not for glorify ourselves or to do what WE want to do, but it's to bless G-d as a slave in the Body to further the Kingdom. Since you are already serving in other areas, I pray you will take the loving counsel from your pastors and re-evaluate your motives for insisting that you serve someplace else.

[Vickilynn]

Shalom,

Without knowing more details, such as What area of ministry you are talking about or WHY he has told you that you can't participate (it may have nothing to do with your past sins), no one here can really comment on your question.

Taking legal action against your church for not putting you in ministry? That makes no sense Biblically. Someone serving in ministry is a servant and they are there because G-D called them there. And the servant does not force his way into a position of serving.

Not to mention the Bible forbids legal action against another Christian.

Have you prayed and asked the L-rd if HE wants you in this area of service? You only want to be there if G-d has called you there.

Anyway, I would suggest you speak to the man who told you this, get all his reasons and check the out Biblically. According to Matthew 18.

If you are dissatisfied with his reasons, go to his authority in the church - the Pastor and explain the situation. Again, Matthew 18.

If you get no satisfaction there, you have other options, Matthew 18.

Ok I have read matthew 18. I'm not sure why you need spefics sin is sin regardles of deed. My past is in the past and I have no sin aginst anyone to my or their knowlesge.

Shalom Ray,

No, you misunderstand me and Matthew 18.

You feel they've sinned against YOU.

No, I don't need to know your past, but I'm saying that without having the details of what you're talking about, no one here can second-guess the pastor's decisions. There is no reason for you to share your past here, but you are posting, asking for advice and without understanding where you're coming from, no one can give you advice except to do things Biblically.

And you need to realize that you cannot engage in legal action against the church for not allowing you to serve in an area.

And you need to realize that you must serve JESUS, not yourself. This is perhaps the lesson you are having to learn, what true servanthood is.

It is hard, I know. And I pray you will hear from the L-rd.