Is Remarriage allowed by the Bible

[SonShiner]

Hello,

Here is a letter that is circulating. I know that my church does not teach this, although there a few that believe this way but don't say much. The links seem to go into a lot of detail. What do you think?

Dear Pastor,

This letter is written to you by fellow servants and laborers in the Lord. We pray that you will receive it in the same spirit of love and concern with which it is prayerfully sent (1). Although there are many common concerns that could be addressed, this letter focuses on the present state of divorce and remarriage in the church. The steady advance of sexual sin and deviation within the Christian community is fueled, one way or another, by disregard of God

[Guest LadyC]

let me start by saying that i grew up and spent the majority of my life in the bible belt, and i do not believe there is a higher concentration of christians in that region than any other. while it may have had some historical accuracy, it certainly seems to be an archaic term now.

i believe that churches often fail their congregation regarding marriage/divorce. most pastors will perform marriage ceremonies for hire whether the couple is a member of their church or not. in many cases, very little or no premarital counseling is provided. i know of one pastor who does require the couple to be members of the church and undergo intense biblical pre-marital "training" under the pastor's tutiledge for a minimum of three months. he takes his role seriously!

pastors are not the only ones who should take a responsible role in a couple's marriage, however. if the couple belongs to a church, he entire congregation should take a role in uplifting that marriage in prayer. marital problems are rarely invisible. when a fellow church member recognizes any signs of trouble, they should bring it to the attention of the pastor so that he might intervene long before it gets to the stage of divorce.

the wedding party needs to also take an active role. a christian couple should be certain to choose strong christians to serve as their maid or matron of honor and their best man. these days most wedding attendants think their responsibility ends with the reception, but it doesn't. their role is lifelong, and should be treated as such. they should encourage the married couple to overcome their difficulties, and should uplift them in prayer daily, and engage others in prayer on their behalf when necessary.

that being said, when a couple divorces, we have to remember what God says about forgiveness. when we ask forgiveness, it is granted, and God remembers our sin no more! i have been divorced. i had two small children, and for years i struggled with this concept. how could God forget the sin of my divorce when my daughters were constant reminders? i must have been a single mother for 7 years or so when i finally found peace through prayer on this issue. God had taken the role of Father to my children. look at the story of hagar and her son ishmael. hagar was a comcubine, not a wife, but the similarities can not be dismissed. the scriptures say that the Lord loved ishmael. HE became Father to her son. God provided many opportunities for redemption in this story. He blessed BOTH of abraham's decendants, making them both great nations, despite the disobedience of all who were involved.... Sarah's disbelief and subsequent insistant that her husband take a concubine, and her later jealousy... Hagar's haughty air of superiority and hatefulness, Abraham's taking of a concubine, his favoritism, his sending the mother and child into the wilderness to die. Yet God forgave all of them, and blessed them enormously.

when i finally realized this, it was the beginning of my spiritual healing. prior to this revelation, i had been rejecting the total forgiveness that God had been offering me for years! during the next three years, I drew ever closer to my Lord. i had no desire to remarry until my children reached adulthood, but God had other plans. God had hand-picked someone especially for me, someone who was also no stranger to divorce... someone whom i would never have chosen for myself, by the way.

i could go on for days detailing the story of how mark and i came to be together, and the many ways in which God has demonstrated His blessings on our marriage... i could go on for days also about how many ways God made His reasons for bringing us together evident, AFTER we had joined in marriage.

and i'm sure many others could give just as lengthy stories. i know Cats could. in many ways, her story is a parallel of my own.

God does not wish us to divorce. but He also makes a way to allow for remarriage. That "way" is simple. it's called "forgiveness".

[SisterT-Enduring2TheEnd]

Totally agree with it. The only persons I see in Scripture that are CLEARLY AND UNAMBIGUOUSLY allowed to remarry, without any NEGATIVE judgments attached to them (i.e. to divorce and remarry being "adulterous" or, say the Deuteronomy 24 woman who could not return to her first husband because she was "defiled" by her second husband), are widows, those whose spouses have died, thus freeing them from the bond of their marriage. And even then, they are to marry only in the Lord.

[Guest LadyC]

Totally agree with it. The only persons I see in Scripture that are CLEARLY AND UNAMBIGUOUSLY allowed to remarry, without any NEGATIVE judgments attached to them (i.e. to divorce and remarry being "adulterous" or, say the Deuteronomy 24 woman who could not return to her first husband because she was "defiled" by her second husband), are widows, those whose spouses have died, thus freeing them from the bond of their marriage. And even then, they are to marry only in the Lord.

while i agree with you on where the bible stands, sisterT, it begs the question... does that mean that those who are divorced ambiguously according to scripture are not granted the complete forgiveness in which God says He will remember your sins no more?

i think the point of the topic being posted is this... we can all agree that God condemns divorce, but is God's grace and forgiveness extended to divorcees, and if it is, doesn't that then free the person to find a mate to share their life with?

I believe the answer to both of the questions I just posed is an unmistakable YES. i do not believe this gives christians a license to go out and obtain a divorce just because they can be forgiven, though.

[Guest shadow2b]

-i think the point of the topic being posted is this... we can all agree that God condemns divorce, but is God's grace and forgiveness extended to divorcees, and if it is, doesn't that then free the person to find a mate to share their life with?

-I believe the answer to both of the questions I just posed is an unmistakable YES. i do not believe this gives christians a license to go out and obtain a divorce just because they can be forgiven, though.

-AN honest question---honestly--- how does a 17 yr.old boy reconcile being married at that

-tender age & divorced at 21yrs.of age--THEN-- RE-MARRIED at 22yrs. of age to another lady??

-This was all before "salvation"-- SO"where"does this leave--HIM??--HER-"them"??

-AFTER SALVATION??hmmmm??

[Guest LadyC]

if a 17 year old married and then divorced at 21, to remarry at 22, i'd question his or her level of maturity, regardless of whether or not he/she was a christian. i couldn't make a judgement as to whether or not that person married someone who was God's will for him/her, but i'd sure be predisposed to thinking God may not have been seriously consulted.

[Guest shadow2b]

-Hubby and I both divorced our first partners due to adultery on their part. My ex, it was many women, not just one or two. I feel totally confident that I did the right thing in marrying again, that is until I come across people like this who feel it is their duty to point out the wrongs of others. Everytime I hear, a person who is divorced can not go into a possition such as a pastor or minister, I feel condemned and yet for me I really had no control over how my marraige ended other than I was a christian before I married my first husband and yolked myself unequally to him. So I suppose in that context I did make a wrong choice and paid dearly.

-WeLL,all the hub-bubb over a"divorced"man entering into a leadership position is all based on;

-TITUS.1.vss.6--7----

-If any be blameless,the husband of one wife,having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly...

-For a bishop must be blameless,as the steward of GOD;not selfwilled,not soon angry,not given to

-wine,no striker,not given to filthy lucre;

-AT the time this was written men STILL had several wives--concubines---SO in order to set an

-"example" of a GOOD bishop--leader--pastor--teacher--the MAN was to be MARRIED to or HAVE

-"ONLY"one WIFE at a time!!!& ABSOLUTELY NO CONcubines---THE DIVORCE deal was used

-by men when they went into their concubines or wives they would say{I marry you}then

-AFTERwards--the cigarette--& cool drinks--when the MAN left he said{I divorce thee}thereby

-fulfilling the keeping of the law--I.E.being the"HUSBAND" of one wife---simple huhh??

[Guest shadow2b]

-if a 17 year old married and then divorced at 21, to remarry at 22, i'd question his or her level of maturity, regardless of whether or not he/she was a christian. i couldn't make a judgement as to whether or not that person married someone who was God's will for him/her, but i'd sure be predisposed to thinking God may not have been seriously consulted.

-WeLL,LadyC--your predisposition would be COrrect, like I said HE was married at 17yrs.of age &

-absolutely NOT mature bout much of ennything & GOD most definitely wasNOT consulted.....

-Of course ya MIGHT wanna REthink yo position on whether or NOT GOD had chosen these two kids

-19yr.old girl--22yr.old boy-guy-man-for each other??since the marriage{given 6months to last by

-all family -members--friends on BOTH sides}has ONLY lasted for 40years..Pit-tee-full--just--pit-tee-

-full---- I reckon---

-

[Guest LadyC]

-if a 17 year old married and then divorced at 21, to remarry at 22, i'd question his or her level of maturity, regardless of whether or not he/she was a christian. i couldn't make a judgement as to whether or not that person married someone who was God's will for him/her, but i'd sure be predisposed to thinking God may not have been seriously consulted.

-WeLL,LadyC--your predisposition would be COrrect, like I said HE was married at 17yrs.of age &

-absolutely NOT mature bout much of ennything & GOD most definitely wasNOT consulted.....

-Of course ya MIGHT wanna REthink yo position on whether or NOT GOD had chosen these two kids

-19yr.old girl--22yr.old boy-guy-man-for each other??since the marriage{given 6months to last by

-all family -members--friends on BOTH sides}has ONLY lasted for 40years..Pit-tee-full--just--pit-tee-

-full---- I reckon---

-

i said i'd be predisposed to thinking... but i also said i wouldn't pass the judgement! i have known individuals to marry at a very young age who were no doubt brought together by God. given the limited information you provided, i'd say that whomever you were referring to (yourself perhaps?) were very blessed. i'd also say they, or you, were probably an exception to the general rule of thumb

[SonShiner]

Hello,

I can see some don't like what these guys are teaching, but have you read the material supporting the letter? My father says than when he was young all the ministers had to agree never to remarry a divorced person when ordained. The more I think about it, the more I think about it! LOL

SonShiner