Past sins still making me feel miserable.

[Deepblue]

I shared my testimony with you guys on Worthy Boards, but thoughts of past sins, not being sure about salvation, and other horrible thoughts are still plaguing my mind. At one point in my life I left and came back to God multiple times. I guess I really didn't realize how foolish I was really acting. I got to the point where I didn't have much remorse about my sins. Even though I feel I am saved, other thoughts are saying that I am doomed. Sins of my past pop up and I feel so guilty. They were filthy sins, and even though I repented, I kept commiting the same ones over and over again. I'll just spill the beans. My sins were lustful. I am still a virgin, but I found myself lusting after women uncontrollably. Now when I think of those sins I get a fluttery feeling in my chest. I was also quite bitter towards people, and wanted no human contact or friendship. Thoughts such as "You've commited the unpardonable sin" pop in my head, and I become mentally, emotionally, and physically sick. I know that people say "If you're worried about it, then you haven't commited it". But a part of my mind tells me, "How do you know." Then If I'm not worried about it I think "If I'm not worried about it something must be wrong." And then I slip into worrying. At one point I was also questioning God. I was even saying out loud "Why in the world does God do this or that? It makes no sense!" And I said it with anger. Bad thoughts of God still pop in my head, and it's so hard to fight them off. I often find myself bashing myself over every bad thought or sin. Crazy thoughts such as me sitting in my death bed when I am older about to die come into my head as well. And while I'm in my death bed I think I'm going to Heaven, but I end up in Hell. I feel very at peace right now, but I know later these thoughts will come up. Can anyone else relate?

[Zadok Rox]

As far as lust is concerned, I can relate. If you're born-again and you've asked God to forgive you for lusting after women, then God has forgiven you (1st John 1:9 "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrightousness."). Don't trust your feelings; trust God's word.

As far as repeatedly committing the same sin over and over again, you might better find somebody to hold you accountable. Then whenever you commit the same sin (look at porn; etc), then go to that person and tell the person what you did.

I'm a 34 year-old single virgin guy who's hooked on porn. While I haven't looked at any "actual" porn since early June, there has been a couple of times where I have found substitutes, repented, and confessed what I did to my pastor or the outreach minister. Believe me, my guts was churning at the prospect of telling somebody what I did, but I felt alot better after I told.

Just today, I was about to commit a lustful sin, but before I did, I thought about the possibility God would convict my heart to tell somebody about it. That prospect turned me away from that sin before I committed it.

Btw, the only unpardonable sin is blaspheming the Holy Spirit. If you're a born-again Christian, you have nothing to worry about.

Edited August 21, 2007 by Zadok Rox

[Deepblue]

As far as lust is concerned, I can relate. If you're born-again and you've asked God to forgive you for lusting after women, then God has forgiven you (1st John 1:9 "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrightousness."). Don't trust your feelings; trust God's word.

As far as repeatedly committing the same sin over and over again, you might better find somebody to hold you accountable. Then whenever you commit the same sin (look at porn; etc), then go to that person and tell the person what you did.

I'm a 34 year-old single virgin guy who's hooked on porn. While I haven't looked at any "actual" porn since early June, there has been a couple of times where I have found substitutes, repented, and confessed what I did to my pastor or the outreach minister. Believe me, my guts was churning at the prospect of telling somebody what I did, but I felt alot better after I told.

Just today, I was about to commit a lustful sin, but before I did, I thought about the possibility God would convict my heart to tell somebody about it. That prospect turned me away from that sin before I committed it.

Btw, the only unpardonable sin is blaspheming the Holy Spirit. If you're a born-again Christian, you have nothing to worry about.

Thanks for the post. You're completey right when you say I just need to trust God's word over my feelings. I guess I need to just get over it and serve God the way he wants me to. I'll definately take your advice into consideration. I'm still a little confused about what blaspheming the Holy Spirit really is. I guess that's the main reason I worry about it. What part of SC are you in btw?

Edited August 22, 2007 by Great Falls

[Redefine_Me]

Ya know, the closer you get to embracing the love and forgiveness God offers, the harder satan will worm his way in to try to convince you that you can't be forgiven. satan is a liar and a deceiver and wants nothing more than for you to doubt your worth in God's eyes.

Psalm 13:5 But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.

Psalm 32:1-2 Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord does not count against him.

I often find comfort for myself in the Psalms. David was human - and I love his writings - sometimes full of anger, pain, fear, dispair - all of the range of emotions we (at least I) feel. And God always provided the comfort he needed.

[kari21]

I shared my testimony with you guys on Worthy Boards, but thoughts of past sins, not being sure about salvation, and other horrible thoughts are still plaguing my mind. At one point in my life I left and came back to God multiple times. I guess I really didn't realize how foolish I was really acting. I got to the point where I didn't have much remorse about my sins. Even though I feel I am saved, other thoughts are saying that I am doomed. Sins of my past pop up and I feel so guilty. They were filthy sins, and even though I repented, I kept commiting the same ones over and over again. I'll just spill the beans. My sins were lustful. I am still a virgin, but I found myself lusting after women uncontrollably. Now when I think of those sins I get a fluttery feeling in my chest. I was also quite bitter towards people, and wanted no human contact or friendship. Thoughts such as "You've commited the unpardonable sin" pop in my head, and I become mentally, emotionally, and physically sick. I know that people say "If you're worried about it, then you haven't commited it". But a part of my mind tells me, "How do you know." Then If I'm not worried about it I think "If I'm not worried about it something must be wrong." And then I slip into worrying. At one point I was also questioning God. I was even saying out loud "Why in the world does God do this or that? It makes no sense!" And I said it with anger. Bad thoughts of God still pop in my head, and it's so hard to fight them off. I often find myself bashing myself over every bad thought or sin. Crazy thoughts such as me sitting in my death bed when I am older about to die come into my head as well. And while I'm in my death bed I think I'm going to Heaven, but I end up in Hell. I feel very at peace right now, but I know later these thoughts will come up. Can anyone else relate?

If you have asked God to forgive your sins...they are forgiven and forgotten by God. Gods forgiveness is TOTAL.

"As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us." (Psalm 103:12)

You can't get any farther that that!

As far as committing the unpardonable sin (or "blasphemy against the Holy Spirit")...

"This case of blasphemy however is a specific one, called "the blasphemy against the Holy Spirit" in Matthew 12:31. In Matthew 12:31-32 the Pharisees, having witnessed irrefutable proof that Jesus was working miracles in the power of the Holy Spirit, claimed instead that the Lord was possessed by the demon "Beelzebub" (Matthew 12:24). Now notice that in Mark 3:30 Jesus is very specific about what exactly they did to commit "the blasphemy against the Holy Spirit."

This blasphemy then has to do with someone accusing Jesus Christ (in person, on earth) of being demon-possessed. There are other ways to blaspheme the Holy Spirit, but this was "THE" blasphemy that was unpardonable. This means that this unpardonable sin against the Holy Spirit cannot be duplicated today because Jesus Christ is not on earth but seated at the right Hand of God; however, the Holy Spirit still accomplishes supernatural things through His servants. Although there is no unpardonable sin today, we should always keep in mind there is an unpardonable state-the state of continued unbelief. There is no pardon for a person who dies in unbelief. Remember, John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have eternal life." The only condition when someone would have no forgiveness is if that someone is not among the 'whoever believes in Him.'" - gotquestions.org

And there is nothing wrong with wondering why God does "this or that." But you must remember what God said about this:

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:8-9)

Many things about God make no sense to us. But Paul said, "When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known." (1 Corinthians 13:11)

Some answers we will not know until we get to the kingdom.

Place your total faith in God for your salvation, because God PROMISED "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.: (John 3:16)

"Whosoever" means you too!

If you put your faith in Christ as your Lord and saviour, you WILL go to heaven when you die. To doubt Gods promises is to call Him a liar. Trust him...believe what He has promised to you.

God says some of the gifts he gives to all believers is: "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." (2 Timothy 1:6-7)

So you have no need to fear.

But what it does sound like to me is that you are being demonically afflicted. It is they who are putting these thoughts into your head. It is they who want you to fear, and to not put your trust in God, and to have those thoughts of uncontrollable lust. Rebuke them in the name of Jesus!

Also, start going to a bible believing church. The body of believers is your family...and in that way we help, and pray, and uphold each other.

May God bless you!

[intruth]

I shared my testimony with you guys on Worthy Boards, but thoughts of past sins, not being sure about salvation, and other horrible thoughts are still plaguing my mind. At one point in my life I left and came back to God multiple times. I guess I really didn't realize how foolish I was really acting. I got to the point where I didn't have much remorse about my sins. Even though I feel I am saved, other thoughts are saying that I am doomed. Sins of my past pop up and I feel so guilty. They were filthy sins, and even though I repented, I kept commiting the same ones over and over again. I'll just spill the beans. My sins were lustful. I am still a virgin, but I found myself lusting after women uncontrollably. Now when I think of those sins I get a fluttery feeling in my chest. I was also quite bitter towards people, and wanted no human contact or friendship. Thoughts such as "You've commited the unpardonable sin" pop in my head, and I become mentally, emotionally, and physically sick. I know that people say "If you're worried about it, then you haven't commited it". But a part of my mind tells me, "How do you know." Then If I'm not worried about it I think "If I'm not worried about it something must be wrong." And then I slip into worrying. At one point I was also questioning God. I was even saying out loud "Why in the world does God do this or that? It makes no sense!" And I said it with anger. Bad thoughts of God still pop in my head, and it's so hard to fight them off. I often find myself bashing myself over every bad thought or sin. Crazy thoughts such as me sitting in my death bed when I am older about to die come into my head as well. And while I'm in my death bed I think I'm going to Heaven, but I end up in Hell. I feel very at peace right now, but I know later these thoughts will come up. Can anyone else relate?

hi greatfalls,yes i can relate and more but like you im wondering what path im on

i believe in our lord jesus and that he died and shed his blood fore us

i think daily on my past sins and at times i wish i could lay down and die

ive even tried with drugs but no matter how much i did "im a none useing addict now" he wouldnt let me go

i dont want contact with other's but i try to over come tho not very well

i was takeing pills to sleep from the pain my body is in another drug side affect

they have me on 100mg amitripilyn,200mg trazidon, im trying to ween my self of of them takeing for 2 yrs and they dont work anymore dr. wont give me anything else cause im a drug addict

but one thing i have seen is that there is a purpose that gods wants of me

and i keep trying and praying

god bless you. your in my prayr's

[Guest]

I feel very at peace right now, but I know later these thoughts will come up. Can anyone else relate?

Old Battles Daniel, Old Battles.

At One Time In My Travels I Worshiped With Folk That, After Salvation By The Blood Of The Lamb Of God,, Tried To Put You Back Under The Law.

Therefore by the deeds of the law there shall no flesh be justified in his sight: for by the law is the knowledge of sin.

Romans 3:20

They Taught That If You Failed To Keep The Laws They Picked Out Of The Laws Of Moses You Would Loose Salvation.

Be it known unto you therefore, men and brethren, that through this man is preached unto you the forgiveness of sins: And by him all that believe are justified from all things, from which ye could not be justified by the law of Moses.

Acts 13:38-39

Sometimes I'm A Little Slow So It Took Me Nine Years Before I Have A Discussion With A Dear Brother (Convicted And Sentenced For Murder No Less) Who Lead Me Through Scriptures I Could Cling To When The Old Snake Whispers Lies.

I Rediscovered The Foundation Of My Salvation Is Jesus Christ And Him Crucified.

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

John 3:16

I Rediscovered That Even The Belief I Have In Jesus Is God's Gift.

For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.

Ephesians 2:8-9

I Became Assured That Jesus Is The Keeper Of My Soul And That He Is Faithful.

Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, To the only wise God our Saviour, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen.

Jude 1:24-25

The Scripture I've Never Forgotten From My Youth....

Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.

Psalms 119:11

Be Blessed Beloved Of The LORD

The LORD bless thee, and keep thee:

The LORD make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee:

The LORD lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.

And they shall put my name upon the children of Israel; and I will bless them.

Numbers 6:24-27

Love, Your Brother Joe

[terter]

You

[Guest]

The battles you are having are normal for all of us:

1 Corinthians 10:13 -- There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

You will find that the more time you spend with God in His Word, the more strength you will have to live the way He wants you to. This is a growth process and it takes time. Spend time with the Lord in prayer and in His Word -- every day. Find yourself a Bible believing church to attend so you can have fellowship with other believers.

I came out of a background of drugs and all after finding the Lord. That was over 5 years ago. It's been some of the toughest times I've ever known, and the drug life is not an easy one. The difference between the old life and the new is a big one: Every trial we go through works together to make us more like Christ! The old life was about me, the new life is about Jesus and how we live for Him, so there is a point to it all even if we can't see it until we get to heaven.

[kat8585]

I would venture to say every Christian on this board has been where you are, and probably is still struggling. Satan doesn't give up. One of his favorite lies is trying to convince you that you have committed the unpardonable sin. He tortured me with one that years back til I thought I was going crazy. I finally realized his mercies are new every morning.

If you were beyond hope, you wouldn't be posting this cry for help. The only way to fight this is to stay in the word, claim the promises (there are tons of them), and pray without ceasing. Ask God to tear down the strongholds that have you so bound. Remain in an attitude of prayer at all times. Seek out good Christian friends. Tell Satan to leave in Jesus' name, and he has to.

I will say a prayer for you.