Out of Order?

[tsth]

Shalom,

Back to this wonderful topic...

Suzanne, what advice would you give women who have NOT been in G-dly order in their home and yet are now convicted this is G-d's righteous ways.

How do they UNDO the years of rebellion and disobedience and start walking in submission and in G-d's order. How would you help them to start?

I would tell them first, to examine the disorder, in their choice of men, in the first place, if they are single. Examine what characteristics they have been drawn to, and why? Many times, they are modeling the father figure that they grew up with, and that may not be a good model for a husband. Examine a figure that does model a godly man, and see what his characteristics are, then keep them in mind. Do NOT belittle yourself, view yourself with the value and honor that Christ Jesus does. Surely you wouldn't want Jesus to view you as one who doesn't value what HE created? Remember to value your body as special, so as not to give away yourself to just anyone. So, choose men who value you as much as Christ Jesus does. (That would be #1 point.....start looking at men from a spiritual/Godly standpoint, rather than emotional first.)

1 Cor. 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

If they are married to an unbeliever, then we revert back to the 1 Peter passages that have been mentioned several times here:

1 Peter 3:1 Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

Suzanne

Men admit to me they feel incapable in leading the family unit in worship. Men learning to do that and praying in private with his wife and children will change the entire environment of the home. Our daily relationships and interaction would take the que from this overall spiritual issue. Practical leadership will come from Spritiual leadership and not vice versa.

In what ways? Prayer aloud? How about Bible reading? This is not a difficult thing to do with your family.....as the Father of the home reads the Scriptures and opens the discussion. He can ask his children, what they thought a particular verse meant? See what they say? If they don't know? Explain it. (Just begin by talking.) We have found that most times, our kids didn't have a clue about what the pastor in the pulpit read, and many times it was due to words that they weren't sure of their meaning. Kids need to have biblical clarification.....don't assume that just because your kids are sitting in the sanctuary, hearing a sermon, that they are understanding, OR LISTENING. They need counsel from dad.

In His Love,

Suzanne

[Vickilynn]

Shalom,

Back to this wonderful topic...

Suzanne, what advice would you give women who have NOT been in G-dly order in their home and yet are now convicted this is G-d's righteous ways.

How do they UNDO the years of rebellion and disobedience and start walking in submission and in G-d's order. How would you help them to start?

I would tell them first, to examine the disorder, in their choice of men, in the first place, if they are single. Examine what characteristics they have been drawn to, and why? Many times, they are modeling the father figure that they grew up with, and that may not be a good model for a husband. Examine a figure that does model a godly man, and see what his characteristics are, then keep them in mind. Do NOT belittle yourself, view yourself with the value and honor that Christ Jesus does. Surely you wouldn't want Jesus to view you as one who doesn't value what HE created? Remember to value your body as special, so as not to give away yourself to just anyone. So, choose men who value you as much as Christ Jesus does. (That would be #1 point.....start looking at men from a spiritual/Godly standpoint, rather than emotional first.)

1 Cor. 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

If they are married to an unbeliever, then we revert back to the 1 Peter passages that have been mentioned several times here:

1 Peter 3:1 Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

Shalom Suzanne,

These are good words, wise words. I pray those reading will be blessed by them and walk them out.

Thank you.

[tsth]

I really believe that much of these problems come from family cycles. We've got to look at the practices of those before us, and see where we are repeating cycles that are ungodly, because it's all we have known. I know from experience that my husband and I are breaking many familial cycles because of Jesus. We aren't doing the same as those before us, because we have taken the time to examine what has happened in our families that were not right, and chosen instead to follow Jesus, and His Ways. But, it's not always easy, because in the process, the family will question, why you are doing things differently.

In His Love,

Suzanne

[Vickilynn]

I really believe that much of these problems come from family cycles. We've got to look at the practices of those before us, and see where we are repeating cycles that are ungodly, because it's all we have known. I know from experience that my husband and I are breaking many familial cycles because of Jesus. We aren't doing the same as those before us, because we have taken the time to examine what has happened in our families that were not right, and chosen instead to follow Jesus, and His Ways. But, it's not always easy, because in the process, the family will question, why you are doing things differently.

Shalom Suzanne,

Amen, that is a good point. Both my husband and I came from UNchristian homes and neither of had Biblical examples to learn by. In fact, BOTH my hubby's mom and mine were the leaders in our homes and were always angry and yellers. Both of us had quiet, submissive, milk-toast daddies.

So, in OUR marriage, we work hard to overcome the thing that are ingrained in us prior to us finding Jesus. But I can tell you, Jesus CAN and WILL change us if we submit to Him and allow Him to work in our lives and we have a desire to do it according to HIS ORDER. As long as we rebel and fight against doing things G-d's ways, we will never change to be more like Him in our marriages and everyplace else.

[tsth]

Dear vickilynn,

That's exactly the type of example I'm talking about. My husband's family was full of women leaders as well. Whereas mine, were not strong leaders, but were terribly enabling. Thus, lots of men/sons/grandsons were coddled in their addictions/sins, and thus either didn't get out of them, or were eventually devoured by them/killed. The women were doing terrible damage, by not letting the stronger men, step up to deal with the sons, grandsons. Instead the women were hiding/shielding the problems from the husbands, in regard to the sons. It's a terrible cycle, that was terribly out of order.

These are prime examples that are NOT in line with God's Order of the man/husband/father, leading.

In His Love,

Suzanne

[patricia1]

all Jackie has to do is confess the rebellion,ask for forgiveness and thats it. Why are things so cmplicated here.

Was she suppose to be submitted to a husband that did not love her as christ loves the church??

David what you say is sooo very true. The whole entire environment does change completely and as women see the men in their lives move in Godly scripture, there would not be a problem with submission at all. It is hard to find a man totally committed to God who is not on the pulpit.

I spent time with my dad and his fiancee. She is sold out for the Lord..He lags behind because he is still learning...But for the first time I saw a loving Godly relationship and the tenderness he had for her was such a witness as well a the respect and love she had. There was such a oneness and consideration of each other.

I have never seen this and it put things into a great perspective.

I mean I use to be so bad that I thought marraige was nothing but prostitution. The woman cooks, cleans and so on and the man keeps her. Twisted. This idea did not come from by homelife..This is how I felt...patricia1

[Guest Biblicist]

all Jackie has to do is confess the rebellion,ask for forgiveness and thats it. Why are things so cmplicated here.

Things are complicated because we are human, it's what we do. When sin enters a relationship it complicates things, but we are all sinners so relationships are complicated.

Was she suppose to be submitted to a husband that did not love her as christ loves the church??

YES, it's in God's word, 1 Peter 3, "if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives."

[Vickilynn]

all Jackie has to do is confess the rebellion,ask for forgiveness and thats it. Why are things so cmplicated here.

Shalom Patricia,

Complicated? Actually, thank G-d, it's very simple. G-d's Word and His ways are so simple that ANYONE can follow them.

Was she suppose to be submitted to a husband that did not love her as christ loves the church??

Yes, according to the Scriptures, we are to be obedient to G-d's Word individually. Our obedience to Him is not based on someone else's obedience.

The Scriptures do not give anyone an escape, or loophole for not obeying G-d, especially wives. In fact, G-d deals with this very issue in 1 Peter where the wive is to submit with a "quiet and gentle spirit" to her husband who does not believe the Word. She is to be submissive, respectful, quiet and gentle spirit

This is what the wife is to do and there is no excuse even if the husband doesn't do right, the wife must.

1 Peter 3

1Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3(E) Do not let your adorning be external

[jackie d]

to no one in particular

[Guest Biblicist]

One of the things I've noticed...Submission to the Scriptures seems to be lacking. Not just here in this forum but all over the world, on the internet, and in person.

I've had people tell me not to "quote scripture at them", "put God in a box" [still trying to figure out what that means], I'm sure we've all heard the phrase "Too heavenly minded to be any earthly good".

What I don't understand is, when someone, a believer, comes to you, a believer, for help, information or just general advise and you give them the Word of God, they blanch, balk or run the other way, worse case scenereo, they yell at you for being insensative? Our greatest gift is the Word of God. It's a love letter. Not a book of rules and regulations, or stories. It's a precious book, a tool, a gift, a guide for life.

I love my God and His Word. I read it all the time, looking for new things he has to teach me, or tell me. So when I share the Word with someone about their problem it's because I know that more than any other advise I can give them, God's Word is the most loving thing I could say to them in their time of need.