wut to do

[Guest freebird]

hey yall i could use alot of help here. im 20 and she is 16, we have to be very careful when and where we show our love :hug: for one another. our parents would not see it the way we do. hers would not forgive her for dating a guy while she is so young. she and i r both head strong and have been taring done eachothers wall, the ones no one else could. but should we truly be together. God keeps telling us yes. but i still feel uneasy.

PLEASE HELP

[Only4Him777]

Freebird,

I would have to say, you are right in feeling uneasy about this relationship. For one, she is illegal. She is underage.

Legally, her parents still have a say in her actions. You might ask yourself, why is she so caught up in a relationship with an adult and not someone her own age? The same question for you.

Age is not as big of a deal once you get past certain life experiences... which have not come to fruition by age 16.

If it is God's will for you to be with her, then taking some time off... at least until she is legally of age, will not destroy your future.

If you truly love her, and she truly loves you... that won't change. If either of you is affraid that the other one will find someone else in the mean time... then it wasn't meant to be anyway, right?

What is God's will... will be, in His timing.

Hope this helps. Sorry if it is not what you wanted to hear.

YSIC,

Alison

[Adstar]

Yes true love has patience and it can wait. So yes wait until she reaches the legal adult age before you go public with your intentions. This will make things a lot smoother for you and her and it will give you both a chance to grow.

All Praise The Ancient Of Days

[JesusisGod2]

Hi OnlyHim,

Though I do agree that the age differance is a factor, particularly at this stage of maturity, and is something to take into account. However, 16 is not illegal in all states, unless they have changed the laws. With the parents consent in most states its legal.

But you bring up a very good point.

Freebird if you want to know Gods will in this matter, then go to hers and your parents and seek their approval to at least date, if you cant do this, then I would question the relationship and I would also question how much you really love her.

And be prepared to live by their answers. It could very much be that now is not the right time or it could be that it is. One way to seek Gods will in this matter is to ask Him to give you His answer through the parents of both you and hers. One thing is for certain, keep this relationship pure.

This is a tough step I know, but this is a tough situation in your relationship.

[Guest mcm42]

What do you all mean by "illegal"? The law is against having sex not against dating, or being friends!

I would not put this relationship "on hold" per se. I would presume your not having sex with her, and therefore your relationship with her IS legal. Maybe I'm wrong the hand of the law reaches further, but my understanding was that it centered around sex (with a minor).

And even then, with consent from parents it would still be legal, but at any rate your not asking if you should or shouldn't be having sex, that answer is obvious, your not married so you shouldn't be having sex.

I say if you feel strongly about her, use these next years (meaning her schooling years, not her apparent legal years) to build your friendship, and your love. All of this can be done legally, and within God's plan.

The only thing I noticed was the Parent issue. If your serious, don't take this wrong, you'll be man enough to go to her parents and make you're intentions known, and understood. Sorry to say, they make the decisions, if they say "back off" you back off.

My bet, they'll truly respect your coming to them, and being honest. Show them your a man who can handle the responsibility of caring for there daughter. This will go much farther, and they'll respect you far more than if you're going behind there back.

Hope this helps, God bless you both :t:

[JesusisGod2]

Hi Mc,

I was refering more the marriage aspect of it where it is illegal without the conscent of their parents to marry under the age of 18. And even in dating they could possibly file contributing to the deliquency of a minor, but I am not certain on this one.

[Guest freebird]

i thank u all for ur advice.

my family doesnt care that we see each other, hers on the other hand im not so sure about, i dont really know wut i would say this is all kind new to me.

and we r not having sex for all of u that questioned it. we r keeping each other in check. we just :hug:

[JesusisGod2]

i thank u all for ur advice.

my family doesnt care that we see each other, hers on the other hand im not so sure about, i dont really know wut i would say this is all kind new to me.

and we r not having sex for all of u that questioned it. we r keeping each other in check. we just :hug:

Amen Brother,

Thats a great report. Before you approach her parents, get on your knees before God, you would be amazed at the power of prayer. You show a lot of maturity for a young man just in the fact that you are seeking advice from Gods people.

Ask God what His will is, He loves being involved in your affairs and especially when He is invited to do so. If anyone understands love, it is God.

Dont get discouraged, get encouraged in Him. He loves you and He loves your girlfriend, give Him a chance, you never know what the answer isuntil you ask!

Jesus said you have not because you ask not!

May God richly bless you in your pursuit of Him.

[refugepsa91]

My advice would be to meet with her parents....when you date make it a "at her home" date. Let them get to know you, know what kind of person you are, they have to be able to trust you with their daughter and thats a big step.

Now I'm gonna tell you something...I hope no one eats me here...but I really feel that the Lord is wanting me to share this. My first boyfriend was 21 and I was 16 almost 17. My parents had a fit. But I never tried to sneak out with him. I invited him over to meet my parents and after several "at home" dates they really really began to like him alot, and allowed us to date alone...the curfews were pretty strict...but he always respected them enough to have me home before hand. Most of the first alone dates we went on were during the day..to a movie or to eat or beach...and I was home before dark...and if we didn't want to say goodbye then we stopped and got a movie or played cards with my parents. Remember her parents are a part of her and you have to love them too :il: :hug:

Now before anyone faints after that confession....heres how things turned out....Scott and I dated for 4 years....at the age of 21 I married him...at the age of 23 we delivered our first baby boy :il: ...at the age of 27 we delivered our second child..a pretty baby girl....today at the age of 34 (me) and Scott (38) to be 39 soon :oww: we are just as happy as the day we married. I love him always and forever. So there, see there truly are happy endings :hug: :il:

Love and Blessings,

Angel

[JesusisGod2]

Thats an awesome testamony Angel, and great advice from someone who has been in his circumstances.