Please Pray For Me

[LadyRaven]

I am so depressed. I have a mood disorder, and right now I'm having a crisis. It's because I'm being rejected at another website. It is so painful. I made a mistake on Sunday and posted a threat agianst myelf, and now my posts are being screened, and many of them rejected. And they even deleted a word from a Bible verse I quoted because it contained a word that is used in a sinful manner nowadays. It was the Word of God I was quoting. They've stifled me. I promised I wouldn't post anything like what I posted on Sunday, again, but still the constraints become more and more severe. Now I can't even post instant messages anymore. I feel so rejected. I can't quit crying. God's people can't accept me. Just because I have a mood disorder I have no control over. They say that Christians are the only ones who shoot their wounded. I don't know if it's true, but it feels that way tonight. Can I help it if I've ben dealt this hand?Can someone with diabetes help it if they have diabetes? Can a cripple help it if they can't walk? I don't feel like I belong anyplace in this world, or in the Christian community. Please pray for me.

Sheryl

I have a mood disorder too, I'm BiPolar. I also have a chronic pain disorder (Fibro and Arthritis) and a few other things. I know that when you do not guard your heart, when you are treated in such a way it will be taken more to heart than you would if you did not come wrapped in that packaging.

It is vital to your spirit that you not pull people you do not know so closely into your personal spaces, especially for one such as you and me. I do not know how long you were involved with that forum or how well you knew the people offline, but it sounds as if you allowed them too close for your own good. We can love with Christian love without making this mistake.

That being said, you do belong. Without even knowing you I can tell you at least one way you fit besides the generic 'you're God's child and He died for you.' (Which is the truth, btw) People who have such a difficult life often have such encouragement to give to those who suffer, those who suffer tend to realise with clear vision what is important in life and what is dross.

You cannot base your self concept on what is said and done on a message board. People who post on these things have a habit of not seeing the result of their words and sometimes do not blunt them to suit the personality of those they are addressing. We cannot see your face when something we say hurts your feelings and apologise right off; by the time we find out often several responses have gone by where others seem not to mind and so we become defensive instead of humble and sensitive as we should be. Because we see only the written word, the other person is a mental exercise or a theory and sometimes we dont even note the name of the person we are addressing. I include myself because it has accidentally happened and I have accidentally done it...not often, but it has happened.

You cannot base your self concept on how you are treated by others in general. For some strange reason, some of us seem to draw people to us who are going to abuse us (I include myself here). But the actions of a sinner toward me to not make me less valuable. Value is not based on popularity, it is based on the value God assigns to us. What value has God assigned? Enough for Him to sacrifice His son. Trust me, aint no one getting my kid, I cant imagine love like that. so obviously the others are blind and you need to discount their opinions.

Christians are not the only ones who shoot their wounded, however, we are the ones who should not be doing that.

That being said, it would be of great comfort to you if you could try for just a second to put yourself in their shoes. It is possible they feel that they are protecting you or the forum or both from turmoil. They probably not not attempting to be hurtful and would regret knowing that you hurt so badly, even if they changed nothing about the way they ran the forum. Try and see what you would do and see if you can understand what they have done. Pray over it and ask God to help you see, it will give you a soft heart for them and you can then forgive and move along.

It would be wise for you to take a break from that forum for a while. Perhaps even shut down your account and wait for a time when you are more adept at keeping your personal cards close to your chest before you consider going back. there is nothing wrong with walking away.

[Guest]

[message]

Hello, Sheryl&Jesus,

Nice to meet you..

I am very sorry, that you are feeling so very distraught..I have the dreaded depression too, its a hard lot to deal with at times , isn't it..

And I do understand, all that you have said too, 'been there'..as they say...

I think that feeling of rejection, is a really horrible one too,it can almost disintegrate

ones feelings.. and can bring one to feeling oh! so low!!!

Some years ago, I had a bad bout of this feeling of rejection..

It is so painful isn't it..

It sort of makes one feel, that ones whole world, is slowely coming to an end,

and it also eats right away at all ones confidence, one may have at that time..

Ho! Hum!! it eats and eats away.... and makes you feel so dreadful in the end..

One just feels that things are 'never,' going to change, and one will be somehow, 'stuck', that way for ever more..

I don't know about you, but I had a bout of feeling, that everyone was getting at me.

[i was in hospital at the time..]

And it got so bad, that in the end, 'Anything',

'Anyone', said to me.. felt like a rejection...just simple everyday talk.. in the end, I just didn't want to talk to anyone..I didn't want to hear anything, even though deep down, I must have known....that most of it was the illness, not them...

It does not help make for a happy-daytime living does it..

But of course, in the end, like a lot of things, it did come to an end..Phew!

You know, there is still a Stigma', about 'Mental Illness'.. People that have never suffered with it, of course still do not understand about it..

What I think it may be, is sometimes the fault of the media..when they are looking for someone, who say has escaped from a hospital, and you hear on the new's,

'they are known to be dangerous'....

Somehow, everyone else, becomes sort of 'tarred with the same brush', and others think, one might also be like that..

Even though, there are many other, sort of things, illness's, that people can suffer from, in a very mild way, right up the scale, to those warnings,

'that they may be dangerous'...

Although I must say, that the media here, especially T.V. show's a lot of documentarys, about all sort's of things, that others suffer from, some of them, one has not even heard of them, before, either....

I do watch these at times, on T.V. as I think the more one knows about things, then if one saw someone, in a way that, one has seen on T.V. then, hopefully if you came across such a person.. hopefully, one has let all the shock out ,on the T.V. and hopefully, would not show such expressions, in life now...Hope it would help just a bit, anyway to lesson such feelings, on ones face..

After all when all said and done, we are known as the 'Human Race', aren't we, and are related to everyone else, too...Aren't we..Well, it's worth a thought or two, isn't it.....

As for crying, you saying that you cannot stop crying... Well! I always say,

that if God had not wanted us to cry, then he wouldn't have given us tear duct's, would he!

True!!Crying is very good for one.. it gives one a good more relaxed feeling, after one has had a good cry..Crying, releases not only tears, but a lot of stress, too..

In fact, Crying is one of the best 'clear out', things ever...

A brilliant idea, from the best Physician, Ever! Praise The Lord!!!..Amen..

Well Sheryl, sorry that I may have rambled on a bit..

My hope in sending you this post, is to let you know, that you are not the only one to have these odd feelings.. there are lots of us..Honest!!! Just walking about..Looking quite normal, from the outside anyway...

I think that people, whom do not look , in any way impaired, from the

outside, are usually known, as ,'The Walking Wounded'...

Nice to speak to you Sister...

I will put some hopefully Hopeful things below for you...

I will be praying for you..I know just how you feel..

Take Care Sis. won't you.. And anytime you feel like this, why not send me a P.M.

I will answer you, and try to be a support for you, for as long as you want...

Take Great Care..

And may the Lord

Shine His amazing Light,

On to your narrow path,

Each day.

And show you the way,

More easily.

Love and Compassion,

From message X+

*******************

WHY WONDER?

***********

If radio's slim fingers

can pluck a melody

From the night and toss it over

a continent or sea;

If the petalled white notes

of a violin

are blown across a mountain

or a city's din;

If songs, like crimson roses

are culled from the thin blue air;

Why should mortals wonder

that God hears and answers prayer?

By Ethel Romig Fuller.

page 193.

From the book

'Timeless Teasures'.

Classic Quotations for

Speaking, writing,

and teaching..

Published by

Hendrickson.Inc.

1992,2000.

*******************************

Prayer doesn't get man's will done in heaven;

it gets Gods will done on earth..

By Ron Dunn.

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When nothing seems to help, I go and look

at a stonecutter hammering away at his rock

perhaps a hundred times without as much as

a crack showing in it.

Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split

in two,

and I know it was not the blow that did it--

but all that had gone before.

-Jacob Ris.

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However, if you suffer because you are a

Christian.

Don't be ashamed of it,

But thank God that you bear Christs name.

1 Peter 4: Verse: 16.

Good News Bible.

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Be gentle with yourself, learn

to love yourself,

to forgive yourself,

for only as we have the right

attitude toward ourselves

can we have the right

attitude toward others..

By Wilfred Peterson.

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Leave home in the sunshine:

Dance through a meadow--

Or sit by a stream

and just be.

The lilt of the water

Will gather your worries

And carry them down to the sea.

By J. Donald Walters.

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Before me is a future all unknown,

A path untrod;

Beside me is a friend well loved and known,

That friend is God.

************

Before me lies a new and untried way.

Midst shadows dim;

Beside me is my Guide, and day by day,

I walk with Him.

By Ruth Thomas..

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"Thou hast enlarged me"--e'en when in distress!

"Thou hast enlarged me"--made me more like Thee.

Sorrows which came, and things of painfulness,

Thou hast employed me--yea, but to develop me.

**********

"Thou hast enlarged me!--Thou dost most behold

Need for enlargement , deep within the soul;

And Thou doest use, not always things of Gold--

Things ofttimes dark--when sorrows billows roll.

***********

"Thou hast enlarged me!"--using things of pain--

Things I would fain have had Thee take away;

Things which to me, betokened naught of gain--

Thou hast used these , enlargement to convey.

***********

"Thou hast enlarged me!" Yea, 'tis all clear now!

"Thou hast enlarged me!" e'en when sore distressed:

"Thou hast enlarged!"I woshipfully bow,

And gladly sing the discipline which blest".

BY J. Danson Smith

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