How do you know when to change churches

[EricH]

It is hard to advise anyone from a distance on leaving a fellowship of believers. One thing a friend of mine has taught me in the last, year is when you find yourself is situations where there is conflict with another believer, or fellowship may be broken, is to ask the question what Satan is trying to accomplish in the midst of the situation. If you can identify the Satan is trying to propogate, they may give you the answer of what you should do (and he will flea)

[stacey c]

One thing my first husband always said, and I find true for the most part, is when my flesh is pricked the hardest or my feelings hurt the worst, I need to stand and not run. The H.G. is trying to teach me something.

[exrockstar]

Im not sure if this is where this should be posted or not. Here is my situation. My husbam

nd and I have been members of our church for 5 years. Our churuch has gone though alot. We lost our pastor to cancer our assoiet pastor moved our churuch was flooded and we lost that. We have a new Pastor for two years. He does things different. Myhusband who is older and was close the the pastor we lost has not quite found his way or should I say really cliclk. We have had a bad bad month. Hve not been in Church. My husband was in an accident had surgery our cat died I have been pulling doubles at work. Nobody from the church has called or asked us how we were. I called the pastor he did not pray over the phone with my husband. When ever someone is sick or in the hospital he post an email about it. No one at church even new about or hered of our situation. I just went on line and received a email about someone else being sick. And a emial saying we missed you sunday. My husband can not read so does not go on line and my email has been down. Which we told the church. Am I being pettie. We are hurting and need to be up lifted. I have called Pastor he talks about us reachhing out to each other and help in the time of need. Well we are in need. It took a long time for my husband to come to the Lord. He can not believe no one has called to see how his surgery went and how we are and is there anything anyone can do. I hate to sound petti. Someone give me advice on what to do.

if youre expecting church members to call you then imma ask...which church member do YOU call to see if theyre alright?

[HisMindinme]

It is God who places the members of the body. I do not choose my church -- God does. If I choose, then with what mind am I choosing? If led of the Spirit, then continue to follow the Spirit. Being offended is not a reason to stay, go, come or leave. God places us as He determines, desires, chooses and as it pleases Him.

If you are in a church because you know the Lord has placed you, then you'll ride the storm of people being human until God directs you. If you are in a church because God has placed you, then you'll find comfort in that and the strength to maintain.

So, you must know for yourself. No one else can directly answer the question. While others can give direction, you must hear from the Lord for yourself on the matter. You must go to Him and seek His speaking to you in your own heart about the matter.

I see how you are asking for direction and not asking anyone here to choose for you. So, on that matter, I think you're right on the money. The additional thing to point out is Jesus Christ is your Lord and He plants you where He wants. The Father calls you and places you in the Body of Christ. Now, you seek and ak Him directly for your direct answer. He will tell you.

Edited June 3, 2008 by HisMindinme

[Chou]

I was saved when I was 16 years old... that was 5 years ago. The reason I wasn't saved sooner? The churches I was going to were pushing me AWAY from God. I felt no Godly love in there. There was no Jesus in their Hello's.

If you feel that your church fellowship is suffering, there are 3 choices:

1. Stick it through

2. Talk to the pastor and see if there is a problem

3. Change churches

I changed churches many times and finally happened upon one that made me feel like God was in my life and in my friends. I was saved in that church because they desired fellowship with me, they wanted to share the love of God with everyone that walked through those doors.

It may seem childish to change churches because you feel you're not being treated right, but Jesus said that WE NEED FELLOWSHIP! And what you have is NOT fellowship.

[sober9-18-02]

Thank you all for your advice. We went to church on Sunday and it was not easy. We had a couple over after church which we always do. My husband tryed to talk to the Pastor. The Pastor even said didn't you have your accident laast week. My husband was like 2 weeks ago and Im still not back to work. People came up to us and the opnes that did not know where surprized. So since e-mail is his way of contact I sent him an e-mail on how I was feeling. That was yesterday. I asked him to give us a call and set up a time to come and talk to us. No phone call or e-mail yet from him. I really feel like why bother. Is god really there. Everytime we attend a Church we get burt. I thinking maybe I need to just have church at home. This whole church thing is not working. If anyone has read my testomny they would see my first bad experence with the church was when my Father left my Mother for another lady in the church. I think if Pastor does not get back I am done with it! But thanks for your advice. I feel at least loved here, For whoever asked if I call members of the church the answer is Yes. Every Sunday when we are at Church we have a family from church over. So I don't know why this is happening. Maybe it is Satan. Anyway thanks for the LOVE I NEED IT>

[Smalcald]

This is hard.

If being in this church is hurting your faith then leave, take a break, I think that is fine. Take Sundays for a while and simply read scripture and pray together as a family.

You will find a congregation which suites you. You may have to revise your expectations though, maybe start slow get to know people, maybe we can't expect everyone to be social or interested in our lives. I know that it should be different at church, but people are still people.

Sometimes larger congregations have less gossip and so forth just because they are larger with more people and more options.

Also I can see your pain with the adultery situation in your fist Church that can be a real problem in some congregations; it really is a poison that infects some of our Churches and many of our lives and families.

[Guest]

And this is the record, that God hath given to us eternal life, and this life is in his Son.

He that hath the Son hath life; and he that hath not the Son of God hath not life.

These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.

1 John 5:11-13

We pray as a family, we talk about God but Hubby is ready to go back to church I am not. When I look at a pastor I see a manipulator, when I hear preaching I reject it all and when I talk with people I feel so disconnected that it defeats the purpose of fellowship. Some people might say it's wrong but it works for our family very well. I'm not saying I'll never step into a church again but at this point i can't see it. Thing is you have to do what is right for your situation.

Jesus

A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24

Is Forever Faithful

.... for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. Hebrews 13:5

Hallelujah!

Be Blessed Beloved Of The KING

The LORD bless thee, and keep thee:

The LORD make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee:

The LORD lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.

And they shall put my name upon the children of Israel; and I will bless them. Numbers 6:24-27

Love, Your Brother Joe

Set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips. Psalms 141:3

[HisMindinme]

I know I'll most likely get shot down here but....... How Do You Know When To Change Church? I believe when church becomes a chore and when you sit there for an extended time wondering why on earth you got yourself out of bed to go more so than listening to the message or creating relationships.

Nothing to shoot down sister! Nothing at all. Going to a church where folks are not responding and helpful is NEVER a fun thing. There are lots of things to point out, like: We don't know the entire story. People are easily hurt and have a great capacity for filtering what they see and hear, culling out ONLY what is "bad" because their own flesh wants to feed on the thoughts and emotions.

The flip-side is also true: Church people can not only do the "ignore others" routine, but they can be thoroughly human. They can do the power and control thing, they can be down-right mean or nasty, they can gossip, say ugly things, do ugly things and just be a very unfriendly and ungodly lot. Just hanging a shingle off the front of a building that says, "CHURCH" doesn't mean it's going to be place filled with people filled with His Spirit and working out His Love through them to each other.

The thing I see that stops the arguments of "FOR" - Vs - "AGAINST" is simply this: Where is God telling me to be and go? No other answer will ultimately calm a heart. Even if God is saying, "Stay home for a bit." I know I sure did. I quit going to church for about 5 years because of the very reasons being painted in these posts. I was a part of a church that went out of its way to reach out and love. Then it went through a terrible split with a larger fellowship of churches and things changed. People turned selfish and selfcentered. I deplored this and ultimately left. I had the arguments used against me where people said, "Well -- do you reach out? Do you call? Do you visit?" The answer is, "Yes! I did."

I went out of my way to call. Had a phone list that I kept in my wallet for years that I would use to just randomly call folks, say hi, say I loved them, was thinking of them and to see about getting with them. Yet, no one responded over time back in kind. I stayed at the church as long as I felt God was saying to stay. Then I fell away. I got bitter. In my bitterness and lack of understanding of myself, I also delved into sin at a breakneck pace that destroyed my first marriage and nearly my second.

Five years on I and my precious wife are back in church here in the Atlanta area. The Lord has led me to a wonderful body of believers where people go out of their way to actively seek each other out, help, serve, give and be friendly and outgoing towards each other. They call each other. They email each other. Communication and fellowship are keys and bedrocks in them.

Are these people perfect? NO! Do people leave? Yes they do. Do they leave with disgruntlements? You bet. Are they right? Yeah, they might be. Are they petty? Perhaps. Are they brothers and sisters in Christ? The Lord decides and knows. Would I go back to a place of being ignored? Yes -- if the Lord called. I know His voice. I know His Spirit inside me. If He said "Go", I would go.

Ultimately, this is NOT about how I feel, how hurt I am, how abused I am, how ignored I am or anything about how or what I am. It is about Him. It is about the Lordship and Kingship of Christ Jesus and the Father. It is about His will and not mine.

[Guest]

Amen!