Unholy Union?

[None]

I believe God blesses ALL marriages because God instituted marriage. (so even if 2 nonbelievers got married, it is still blessed by God) However, he warns against being unequally yoked with a nonbeliever because He does not want us worshipping their gods - or getting sucked into their wicked way of life thus hindering your Christian walk. Picture a yoke in real life - the weight distributed evenly - if one lacks or is weaker, it throws everything off. One animal is pulling harder while one lags behind. If they were equally yoked, it would be a smooth journey - the same with us.

If you are a believer and purposely marry an unbeliever, God will still bless you because He is the author of marriage, but He is warning you of potential troubles and you will have to live with the consequences.

Adding to this, it's also very heartbreaking to know that the person you love so much may not go to Heaven one day.

It's very easy for some to say, "give the situation to God and don't worry about it..." and things of this nature, but to actually live with a spouse, as "one", interacting daily with someone who has a completely different outlook on life than you do, can wear away at you. It's different than meeting a person in passing and wishing them "blessings" while continuing onwards.

BPC is right, the journey is definately much bumpier when your partner is unsaved.

[Smalcald]

I think there is a basic question you must ask this person which you didn't really cover in the OP; do they have faith in Christ?

They don't need a "born again" experience, they don't need to be currently going to a church, and the bottom line is do they have belief in Christ as the Savior and as their Savior?

If they can answer in the affirmative you may be in their life to lead them to a more mature place. If they are patently against any faith in Christ, I think you are in for some heartache.

[LadyRaven]

There are many stories in the bible regarding relationships between a man and a woman with both scenarios of one being a believer in our Lord Jesus and the other mate not being.

There are many doctrines of men running around regarding the same subject matter. Some helpful, some harmful.

Of course, the new testament accounts for our minds being on our relationships "in the flesh" and having "trouble in the flesh" if we are to be married people, and not single and devoted soley to Jesus without a fleshly partner.

My topic wishes others views on this:

A man & woman wish to marry.

One is born-again, the other believes in "God" being raised Catholic, but has left that church and does not practice at all, and has not experienced being born-again.

Several questions enter my mind:

1) Would God bless such a union.

2) Would God honor the born-again's prayers for the lost Catholic to become born-again.

3) Does it say specifically anywhere in the bible that this marriage should not occur? If so, Book & Verse.

4) Does God place two people together for the benefit of another (being the lost partner).

All feedback appreciated.

New to this bulletin board, and happy to talk with other believers.

Zuriel (Carol) Age 50

Born-again since 1979

There are technically two topics here...

Is the "other" person actually a Christian, biblically, or they may not be. This could get us in a very heated discussion because there are many people who profess to be believers who have not had the stereotypical "born again" effect in their lives. They have had the actual, biblical, regeneration take place. They are "born again" biblically as opposed to stereotypically.

Take for instance Peter and Paul. Paul had a stereotypical emotional dramatic experience, there was a definite change in his behaviour, attitude and belief. Peter's profession of faith followed a very natural growth in knowledge and the application of that knowledge by the Holy Spirit to his spirit. He was a very emotionally driven person and yet his early spiritual life was not particularly noteworthy. As they grew they both produced fruit which was evidence of their faith, yet Peter didn't have a great change in his beliefs, attitudes or behaviour.

A child who is brought up in a Christian home could very well come to Christ at an early age before such a damascus road experience could occur, or at an older age after years of spiritual learning as a natural progression of his or her life he is quietly touched by the Spirit to confirm what they have always believed they now KNOW. No dramatic turns, nothing incredible. If said person was not raised in a home where the stereotypical born again experience was not held up as an ideal and they read a bible where the phrase is not used, it is quite possible that they say they were not born again. Yet they would be, biblically, a believer.

There would be nothing at all wrong with said BAC marrying this person, though they might have a few heated theological discussions over the years. The reason for this person not claiming to be a BAC falls back on his theological background and we all know how disagreements over theological topics can get. They should think very carefully and pray over it. In the end it might be stupid to marry, but it wouldn't be a sin.

If this person IS NOT a believer, then scripture specifically says

2 Corinthians 6

14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?

Whenever scripture says "BE YE NOT" it's a command not to do this. No one who is a Christian should even attempt to justify marrying a person they know to be an unbeliever. Period. It's a violation of a direct command.

If you find yourself married to an unbeliever either because you are converted after the marriage or because he or she had you "duped" then scripture addresses this also:

12To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

15But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.

IOW, stay and let the divorce, if there is to be one, on the head of the unbeliever.

[LynD]

[None]

I am married to an unbeliever. He believes in 'a' God, however doesn't go to church or read the Bible, etc. I was saved about 5 yrs ago, and there have been instances where I have been told I'm no fun anymore, that I get 'bent out of shape' because I am trying to teach my son to live a moral life, etc. My spouse does things that I really don't want him to do, because I believe that even if I am trying to live right, becasue of my hubby's actions we aren't being blessed in certain ways. So yes, we are 'unequally yoked.' There have been may times I have almost said "I don't want this or that in this house" but I know that if I did that he would leave, or there would be much tension. So then a believer may wonder if they are 'compromising' to keep peace, and how God may look upon that. Its a tough road to be on.

My husband claims to believe in Jesus but hates when I even mention His name in front of him. The only time my husband says the name Jesus is in cursing. Just because someone claims to believe does not mean, in any way, that they do. He was baptised catholic and it's what his mom wants to hear from his lips, so he says it to please her, NOT because it's true.

It's a very unfortunate situation, as believers, to place ourselves in but we have to make the best of it, as I'm sure you know.

13And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife...

Would't that then make the wife the "head of the home" being the one directly under God's rule in their home?

I'm still a little unclear on all of this leadership arguement that varies so much around here as far as man vs woman goes.

I know what God tells me and that's that, in a Christian home, where BOTH man and woman believe in God, the woman can rest her submission onto her husband and "question the spirits" when being instructed by said husband.

Women being naturally submissive by nature in the first place.

I believe men and women are judged seperately on our "day", not together. Jesus said, "like the angels...".

So if the husband is "sanctified" through the wife, how can the wife "submit" to a nonbeliever who does not consider himself under God? She is to consider her husband under God through herself but the husband denies this? then wants her submission?which goes against God's Word? It's very confusing.

[EricH]

As some of the passages indicate above, we have clear commands from scripture that believers should not enter into a marriage relatioships with unbelievers. In terms of narrative passages that tell us about unbelievers in biblical times being married to believers, we should remember that scripture does not always condone what it reports. That is why making doctrine from historical passages is such difficult work.

[None]

So now that I've doomed myself...basically is what you're saying(EricH)...there are no clear instructions.

[Smalcald]

You are not doomed, you are just in a bad marriage as millions of other Christians are.

I would focus on your own growth as a believer, pray for your husband and hopefully raise your kids in the Word. We are all judged based on our individual faith in Christ, and that alone not through anybody else. As far as submitting goes, do what is right but never deny your faith which will come first and foremost.

Peace and good luck to you.

[EricH]

So now that I've doomed myself...basically is what you're saying(EricH)...there are no clear instructions.

Paul actually does give clear insturctions. he tell believers who are already married to an unbeliever to stay with them, because the believers presence in the home as a sanctifying effect

[methinkshe]

So now that I've doomed myself...basically is what you're saying(EricH)...there are no clear instructions.

Paul actually does give clear insturctions. he tell believers who are already married to an unbeliever to stay with them, because the believers presence in the home as a sanctifying effect

Very true, which is why, after 35 years I am still married to my unbelieving husband. Was it a good thing that I married an unbelieving man? No it was not. It has made my marriage far more dificult than it might have been had I married a believer. I have not experienced the fullnesss in marriage that I believe is available to a man and a woman in Christ. But, can God work everything to the good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose? You bet He can! And does. He has blessed my marriage with 9 wonderful children who walk with the Lord. But why choose the harder path other than, like me, from sheer youthful rebellion, when a better path is available if we follow God's advice - be not unequally yoked? It is a difficult and lonely path to tread, that of being a believer yoked to an unbeliever, and one that I could never recommend, even though by God's grace He has enabled me to keep my marriage vows: for better or for worse.

In Jesus,

Ruth