Friendship Disappointment

[Guest Chips]

I had a friend who choose to end a 31 yr old friendship over a man she met on the internet. He lives out of the country & she's only known him for 2 months. I advised her to use caution & told her that I felt she was vulnerable since she was lonely & financially unstable & this man is supposedly wealthy.

She responded with a very nasty, heart piercing email. She said that I hurt her by accusing her of being vulnerable & for that I DID apologized. I have decided to forgive her in order to release myself of all anger & hatred (though she hasn't ask for forgiveness).

Is it wrong to end a friendship because one has hurt you & you still decide to forgive? Is it true forgiveness? I feel that I can no longer pursue the friendship since I can't be myself with her & my idea of TRUE friendship is that you can have the freedom to express your conerns without being petrified of how the other person is going to react - like walking on eggshells.

I am in mourning.

[refugepsa91]

Chips,

I'm so sorry to hear that....it is hard losing a friend....especially when you can't really understand the reasons behind it.

I have gone through the same thing recently...I never hear from whom I thought was my best friend for almost 20 yrs. We were friends since we were teenagers in school. It really hurt at first...still does a little if I'm honest with myself. But you have to remember that some people stay friends with you because you tell them what they WANT to hear, and as soon as you start telling them differently they will drop you. I would pray for her and her safety in the decision she made. But one thing to remember is you can forgive her wholeheartedly and love her without being a doormat in the future

I hope you will be alright...I pray for your and her.

Love and Blessings,

Angel

[Guest LadyC]

sometimes being a friend means removing yourself from a situation. your friend is making a potentially harmful choice, and you were absolutely right in warning her. is it wrong to end your friendship? well tell me, is that actually what you are doing? if she got hurt by this man she's become involved with and came to you for emotional support down the line, would you tell her to get lost? or would you welcome her back and give her comfort?

[Guest shadow2b]

-if she got hurt by this man she's become involved with and came to you for emotional support down the line, would you tell her to get lost? or would you welcome her back and give her comfort?

-wowwwwwwww--what a great answer----I been there------done that---had a

-friend of 30 years who stayed at our house till way late at night he didnot like his

-wife any longer--we were the "best of friends"--so much so that I trusted him with

-my life--my-wife's live & my kids---I told my wife when I first became disabled in

-1985--that if anything happened{DIED} to me to go to this dude & he would

-protect her--{I thought--believed--very strongly}but his wife was taking drugs

-from a psychiatrist she was going to--this gal was not too bright--7th day

-adventurist--she just kept taking these very strong pills--haldol--& other very

-strong pills--& she was walking around in a drugged out haze---

-WE kept telling him to get her OFF these meds--she was taking too many & if he

-didnot put a stop to it she was gonna die--They walked into their house-one day--

-she fell to the floor DEAD---come ta find out he had been dating another woman

-all the time we were trying to get him to get his wife to a medical doctor instead

-of a head shrinker---They are married now & we have seen him & his new wife--

-maybe--6 to 8 times---in over a year---whereas before we were going fishing all

-the time we have access to an 18acre lake about 100 yards from our back door--

-lotsa catfish---so he came down once & asked me to forgive him for the way he

-treated me---I asked if I "HAD"to--He said yupp-so I did---I may "HAVE TO"forgive him & love him but I sure don't "HAVE TO" like him no mo or do I???

-whadddddaaaa ya think?????? :suspect: :sweating:

[refugepsa91]

I think your right shadow

this 'friend' of mine was always getting mad at me over the years...for such dumb reasons...ex. a boy she liked in school talked to me first...she was mad at me for days....when we lived together in our teens, I would buy my makeup...and she would be mad cuz it wasn't the brand "she" liked. Things always had to go just the way she wanted it to or I was to blame. I forgave her so many times and came running to her when her marriage fell apart....came running to her when she decided her drinking was out of control...her and her hubby are back together now and building a home...my husband and I have been over there probably three times to help...and she wanted my husband to quit his (winter) job to come and build for them exclusivly...we said absolutely not...that my Uncle gives Scott this job every winter when he is laid off from his tech job and we would not just walk out on him...well she didn't talk to me for weeks. And this after we were done with our home and it took up two years to build...not once did she and her husband ever come over to help us. I was having a break down at one point and called her for some help...she told me no. I was shocked...but again I forgave her....now I'm pretty sure she isn't talking to me because I told her the truth about the church we were going to...I figured out with help here that is was not teaching sound doctrine....she didn't believe me, she stopped calling. I haven't heard from her in a long time.

This is a short version...but I just wanted to make clear that I forgave her so many times....and I still will if she calls again...but...I will not be a doormat anymore...it hurts too bad.

Love and Blessings,

Angel

[irishcowboy]

wow,

seems that some one else might have gotten snowballed....

i have known many people that seem to think that every one on the internet, is showing who they really are.....

one person i know was preying on ladies..... at one point had 4 or 5 of them on the hook at one time......

this guy was slick, could recite bible verses left and right, sounded real good, was an expert at this that or other, and was an owner of so much.... real smooth talker... so smooth that he even got one lady to sell her house and come to the United States from Australia, only to have to rely on other friends to get her back home when all was said and done..... she was a lucky one.....

there have been many people that have lost everything to include their lives, when they fall for something such as this.... especially when they do not let others know what is going on..... on lady came to see her internet boyfriend, who was so super great on the chats, she didnt tell anyone she was going to see him, and well, she ended up in an old well, that was capped off... not to be seen for a very long time, and the way they found her was thru her computer... but by then it was too late...

all i have to say, is if you are meeting some one, beware .... cause chances are , they are not really who they seem to be on the computer.....

mike

[seekandyouwillfind]

:x: :x: :x: yikes :oww: :x: :x: :x:

[Guest shiloh357]

That is so true... You gotta check people out... It is waaayyyy too easy for people to misrepresent themselves on the internet. When people spin incredible stories and make themselves look perfect and flawless and just too good to be true, that should send up a red flag.

[Guest shadow2b]

-YUPP-!!

[senerhu]

Kat and I have a real good friend in Texas that was telling us about a lady he knew that had been married several years and she her husband had two or three kids. She got involved with a man over the internet and fell in love with this man. She wanted to be with this guy she met over the internet, so she filed for divorce, packed up her kids and everything that was hers and moved to another state to be with this guy, only to find out that it was a woman she had been communicating with on the net all along. So she lost a perfectly good husband. You are doing right by warning your friend. You may just be saving her from something she isn't anticipating at all, if she listens to you...