Sexual temptation

[stitchy]

Hi all... it has been a long time, I used to be a regular here but life has changed a lot and gotten rather busy...

Anyhow I am back because I know how supportive and caring everyone is here, and I know I can get some helpful advice here.

I have a very wonderful boyfriend (finally, after some real jerks)... he is a Christian, he goes to my church, and we have been friends for two and a half years prior to "getting together", so it's a really nice relationship that's based on a good friendship. We love each other very much and are respectful of each other. We are both serious about our faith and really want to honour God in our relationship and make sure what we're doing is right.

But we're already getting it wrong. We're being tempted by sexual desires which are VERY hard to ignore. Generally we're good at recognising when things get "too much" when we're together, but there are times when we do get a bit carried away and things get rather heated. We haven't done anything sexual with each other of course, but we just know that things are getting a bit "hot and heavy" (for lack of a better term, lol) and we are worried about that. We like each other so much, sometimes it's just reeeeally hard to obey the rule that says we can only show a certain amount and a certain type of affection to each other.

Could I get some advice from someone who has been in a similar situation, on what we can do to make sure we don't let ourselves get "carried away" with each other? What can I pray for? Are there any good verses in the Bible relating to this?

Thank you so much...

xoxo

[Floatingaxe]

What are your ages? If you are of marrying age, you need to think about marriage where you are free to express your love physically.

Until that comes about, you are not free to express your desires. You need to accept accountability from your respective leaders, asking them to hold you accountable for your behaviours with one another. This is all good, and will save you years of regret.

As a safeguard, you both need to step back from the normal secular ways of dating which is now a major pitfall for Christians, and begin to court properly. This means doing things in the company of others at all times. The safety of friends is a God-honouring and self-respecting way of handling your relationship. This can continue up to and including your engagement period.

Making a vow to God and to each other to respect one another's bodies and hearts is more than necessary at this point. Ask God to help you to make these excellent changes in behaviour which is conducive to respect of one another and oneself. Ask God always to help you remember WHOSE you are.

God will bless you both as you honour Him by putting His ways first, and you will be able to have great memories all your lives!

1 Corinthians 10-12-13

If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall. The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.

God bless you as you seek to please Him!

[Scarletprayers]

Well I have no need to post, FA said it all!

[Trusting Jesus]

I can't add much to what Floatingaxe said. I will say, though, that your thoughts and actions are not hidden from Jesus, and thinking lustful thoughts are not good. Wrong thoughts lead to wrong actions. My mother always told me that the best way to stay out of trouble is not to allow yourself in a place where trouble is. Just as Floatingaxe said, don't be alone with each other. You might also think of carrying your Bible with you at all times....as a reminder that Jesus is with you.

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Nathele

[Blien]

I would just like to add.. the Devil and his messengers will tempt you to make you sin. And then feel guilty and then feel resentment towards God. See his game? I hate him. Remember to ask yourself how the Devil might take advantage of you.. I would hope you can discuss this with your boyfriend too. Dont take him as a myth, I've had physical battles with him myself and for other people. Things like where I would get a sensation of someone hitting me with a rock on my head or other horrific things like that. That won't happen to you, but just as an example, he is a real being.

Cheers!

[speckles]

Hi all... it has been a long time, I used to be a regular here but life has changed a lot and gotten rather busy...

Anyhow I am back because I know how supportive and caring everyone is here, and I know I can get some helpful advice here.

I have a very wonderful boyfriend (finally, after some real jerks)... he is a Christian, he goes to my church, and we have been friends for two and a half years prior to "getting together", so it's a really nice relationship that's based on a good friendship. We love each other very much and are respectful of each other. We are both serious about our faith and really want to honour God in our relationship and make sure what we're doing is right.

But we're already getting it wrong. We're being tempted by sexual desires which are VERY hard to ignore. Generally we're good at recognising when things get "too much" when we're together, but there are times when we do get a bit carried away and things get rather heated. We haven't done anything sexual with each other of course, but we just know that things are getting a bit "hot and heavy" (for lack of a better term, lol) and we are worried about that. We like each other so much, sometimes it's just reeeeally hard to obey the rule that says we can only show a certain amount and a certain type of affection to each other.

Could I get some advice from someone who has been in a similar situation, on what we can do to make sure we don't let ourselves get "carried away" with each other? What can I pray for? Are there any good verses in the Bible relating to this?

Thank you so much...

xoxo

I would not be alone with anyone before I was engaged, to start with, that puts the kibosh an a good bit of that "hot and heavy" nonsense. Spend more time on the phone, going for walks in public, sitting on the bench in the park or hanging with friends. And stop kissing. That's what starts it all. These rules are not found in scripture, however, I find them very useful as I am a single woman who was once married and misses that particular act very much.

[Rick-Parker]

Hi all... it has been a long time, I used to be a regular here but life has changed a lot and gotten rather busy...

Anyhow I am back because I know how supportive and caring everyone is here, and I know I can get some helpful advice here.

I have a very wonderful boyfriend (finally, after some real jerks)... he is a Christian, he goes to my church, and we have been friends for two and a half years prior to "getting together", so it's a really nice relationship that's based on a good friendship. We love each other very much and are respectful of each other. We are both serious about our faith and really want to honour God in our relationship and make sure what we're doing is right.

But we're already getting it wrong. We're being tempted by sexual desires which are VERY hard to ignore. Generally we're good at recognising when things get "too much" when we're together, but there are times when we do get a bit carried away and things get rather heated. We haven't done anything sexual with each other of course, but we just know that things are getting a bit "hot and heavy" (for lack of a better term, lol) and we are worried about that. We like each other so much, sometimes it's just reeeeally hard to obey the rule that says we can only show a certain amount and a certain type of affection to each other.

Could I get some advice from someone who has been in a similar situation, on what we can do to make sure we don't let ourselves get "carried away" with each other? What can I pray for? Are there any good verses in the Bible relating to this?

Thank you so much...

xoxo

I would not be alone with anyone before I was engaged, to start with, that puts the kibosh an a good bit of that "hot and heavy" nonsense. Spend more time on the phone, going for walks in public, sitting on the bench in the park or hanging with friends. And stop kissing. That's what starts it all. These rules are not found in scripture, however, I find them very useful as I am a single woman who was once married and misses that particular act very much.

Was going to say the same, but I agree with Speckles. Stop going out alone. And don't make out.

[Iryssa]

I have to agree that the best way is to never put yourselves in a position where stuff COULD happen. Relationship after relationship I tried to just not do it despite putting myself in those situations where it could happen, and it NEVER worked.

The other thing you'll need to do is to replace that intimacy with spiritual intimacy--because as women especially, we DO crave intimacy, and often we fall back on sexual intimacy to fill that need. Get a Devo to do together, and set a time at least once a week for a Devo & Prayer Date (also, start your dates with prayer! You can never dop that too much, after all). Find a nice little coffee shop, or even just go to your church during office hours to do this in (so far all the churches I have attended have left the doors open during certain times of day so that people could come in for prayer or private study). If there's nowhere to sit in the church where you'll always be seen, talk to a pastor you trust beforehand and ask if he/she could just pop in and check on you guys now and then.

Good to see you again, Stitchy...hope that helps!

[Guest]

[yesult]

You have no idea how refreshing it is to come on to a thread like this and read the above posts. It shows the general standard of christianity on this forum, because some places people will just tell you to go for it and not worry too much (just don't have sex) lol, what a heap of garbage.

Until he's actually placed the ring on your finger, you're basically pashing someone who could be someone elses husband. Been there, done that - one of the worst mistakes I've made in my life.

Hormones are real and a serious force to be rekoned with because God made it that way. Trying to do relationships the way the world does and just 'christianising' the process doesn't really work, because all physical is part of the sexual process not just the final destination. And once you get on that road, it's chemically designed by God to get you to one place.

Like everyone else said. Don't date in private. Keep your hands off each other totally till marriage - and I love that tip that someone else gave about praying before you spend time together, I think that's really wise.

Our hearts are 'desperatly wicked and deceitful above all things' according to the bible - in otherwords they can be slippery little suckers. We can think we're ok but then one slip near an edge we didn't see and fall over.

Pray and ask God to show you how to do this relationship and enable you to follow it through. He's faithful and will give you all the help you need.

lol (partly preaching to myself here.) God bless and all the best with it.