The divorce and remarriage question

[Xan]

To Xan and Nicole W.

Thank you for your insights and references. I read the article and it certainly did give me some perspective on things. Understanding the orginal Hebrew and Greek helps me see God's intentions, which, to me, falls right in line with who I know God to be. Jesus knows I'm struggling with this, so I thank you for offering this and your knowledge and your heart. I feel a bit more at peace.

God is so full of love and grace beyond any of our understanding. Meaningful Christians never want to see His Word defiled, but the passages are tricky because they have been misinterpreted. I want only the intent of God's holy Word to be understood by His people, not for anyone to think they can do as they please, but I do want us all to realize how extensive His grace is.

Disclaimer: My looking into this was not for me as I had grounds for divorce even by those who say only in cases of infedelity or only for those abandoned by a non-believer. In fact, I was in the same camp until I began studying the issue.

[Xan]

- Personally I do not believe that 're' marriage is biblical in any sense because it has the connotation that a lawful marriage can be broken, and a new one can take place. I believe that divorce is only biblical if there was no legal marriage in the first place, so you wouldn't get 're' married, you would get married.

- Jesus teaches us that getting a divorce and then marrying is comitting adultery through the gospels, Matt. 19:9; Mark 10:11-12; Luke 16:18

- We are given an 'exception clause' in Matt. 5:31-32, in which Christ say's divorce is alright if the sin of 'porneia' is committed (unlawful intercourse) which is not 'moicheia' (adultery). How do we reconcile Christ telling us that divorce is unlawful and then turning around and saying its lawful in certain circumstances? Christ is not contradicting Himself, He tells us that a lawful marriage can never be disolved, but you can get a divorce if there was never a 'lawful' marriage that actually took place. If the immoral act of 'porneia' is committed in a marriage, the marriage was never legal meaning that the two partners did not understand what marriage was when it took place, and thus a divorce is fine because there wan't even a marriage to begin with.

- The key word is 're' marriage. Christ absolutely forbids this, because to get 're' married would imply one could have a lawful marriage, sever that union, and participate in another lawful marriage. This is not possible as Christ tells us. Divorce is only permitted if a lawful marriage never took place in the first place, because the marriage then is only a legal one, not a marriage in God's eyes, and you couldn't get 're' married, you would participate in your first lawful marriage. Many Churches term this 'annulment' because the marriage was null and void in God's eyes.

- However these are only my personal thoughts and I do not wish to offend anyone in any manner, I know how emotional divorces can be, but at the same time I have to hold to my principles, and respect anyone else who holds to theirs

God bless

What is unlawful intercourse within a marraige?

- Unlawful intercourse within a marriage would be cheating on your spouse, or some type of action (generalized) in which you are not looking at your spouse as a person but as an object. These actions strongly suggest you were not sincere in your intent when you got 'married' if the intent was not correct, a marriage never took place in the first place, and is declared 'annulled' and you may marry. But 're' marriage is highly un-biblical in that it suggests we can sever what God has brought together and then establish another one, this is something Christ harshly condemns.

God bless

Cheating on your spouse is adultry. However, you said it is not. Please clarify.

- I'm speaking about sexual immorality Xan, anything that violates a lawful marriage. (Trying to think of how to explain this and remain neutral ) Adultery would be cheating on your spouse yes, but that does not automatically mean the marriage was invalid from the beginning, you might have just been mislead. When I say cheating on your spouse in relevancy to porniea I speak of the lust that is within your heart from the beginning, in that the marriage is not lawful to begin with because you intentions are misplaced

God bless

Ah! You're talking about someone defrauding their spouse when he/she gets married. For example, a pornographer that cheated with his fantasies during courtship and continued during the marraige unknown to the innocent spouse.

[Guest LadyC]

i'd like to throw in my take on "unlawful intercourse within a marriage". it may have nothing to do with anyone's experience here.

unlawful intercourse within a marriage would also include any sexual act between a husband and wife that was not by mutual consent. yes, rape does happen frequently within a marriage.

[ColleenLovesMischief]

i'd like to throw in my take on "unlawful intercourse within a marriage". it may have nothing to do with anyone's experience here.

unlawful intercourse within a marriage would also include any sexual act between a husband and wife that was not by mutual consent. yes, rape does happen frequently within a marriage.

In total agreement.

[kross]

The Bible says the only reason for divorce is if your spouse commits adultery. However it does not say you could remarry in the case of adultery. The only reasons to remarry that the Bible gives is #1 if your spouse dies or #2 if the unbelieving spouse leaves the believing spouse, in this case the believing spouse is freed from the law of marriage just as if the unbelieving spouse that left was dead.

A side note it is not O.K. to leave your spouse because they are an unbeliever, only if they leave you are you free from the law of marriage.

If scriptures are needed ask and I will provide them

HI Zek

The Bible does not say that. I posted something that is on page threee that explains what JESUS was teaching.

JESUS never changed the laws, HE just explained them.

Peace

[kross]

The Bible says the only reason for divorce is if your spouse commits adultery. However it does not say you could remarry in the case of adultery. The only reasons to remarry that the Bible gives is #1 if your spouse dies or #2 if the unbelieving spouse leaves the believing spouse, in this case the believing spouse is freed from the law of marriage just as if the unbelieving spouse that left was dead.

A side note it is not O.K. to leave your spouse because they are an unbeliever, only if they leave you are you free from the law of marriage.

If scriptures are needed ask and I will provide them

HI Zek

The Bible does not say that. I posted something that is on page threee that explains what JESUS was teaching.

JESUS never changed the laws, HE just explained them.

Peace

I did a whole study on how christians use the phrase we are not under the law as a excuse to sin, I do not think that because we do not live under the Mosaic law means we can willfully sin, nor do I believe that makes it ok to divorce and remarry just because you fell like it.

The Biblical foundation for divorce (as recorded in Deut) does not say to divorce "just because you feel like it"

And YES, some Christian use Grace as an excuse to sin. Paul wrote, "where sin abounds, grace much more abounds" this means that GOD's grace is sufficient to cover any sin. He also went on to state that we should not use this fact as an excuse to embrace sin.

[Xan]

The Bible says the only reason for divorce is if your spouse commits adultery. However it does not say you could remarry in the case of adultery. The only reasons to remarry that the Bible gives is #1 if your spouse dies or #2 if the unbelieving spouse leaves the believing spouse, in this case the believing spouse is freed from the law of marriage just as if the unbelieving spouse that left was dead.

A side note it is not O.K. to leave your spouse because they are an unbeliever, only if they leave you are you free from the law of marriage.

If scriptures are needed ask and I will provide them

HI Zek

The Bible does not say that. I posted something that is on page threee that explains what JESUS was teaching.

JESUS never changed the laws, HE just explained them.

Peace

I did a whole study on how christians use the phrase we are not under the law as a excuse to sin, I do not think that because we do not live under the Mosaic law means we can willfully sin, nor do I believe that makes it ok to divorce and remarry just because you fell like it.

The arguement of divorce being acceptable and instituted by God have been based on the Bible and some with historical backing. At no point during this thread has anyone made it about feelings. To ignore logical posts and make a blanket accusation that it's based on feelings is insultive.

[ParanoidAndroid]

Sure

Matthew

32 But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality[a] causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.

I Cor.

15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. 16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?

So it

[lydia81]

The Bible says the only reason for divorce is if your spouse commits adultery. However it does not say you could remarry in the case of adultery. The only reasons to remarry that the Bible gives is #1 if your spouse dies or #2 if the unbelieving spouse leaves the believing spouse, in this case the believing spouse is freed from the law of marriage just as if the unbelieving spouse that left was dead.

A side note it is not O.K. to leave your spouse because they are an unbeliever, only if they leave you are you free from the law of marriage.

If scriptures are needed ask and I will provide them

Well put

[ShadowReader]

I would like some feedback, mostly attitudes concerning remarriage.

Have any of you remarried ministers had a hard time within certain groups?

One church I went to did not allow folks who were remarried (for any reason but death) to become a member. They instructed people to go back to their first spouse.

Note to my brothers and sisters: I did not start this topic to throw stones or to bring condemnation. I would like to learn something.

Matthew 19:1-8 New International Version

When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.

Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"

"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

"Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"

Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman, commits adultery."

Moses permitted the men to divorce their wives because their hearts had hardened against their wives. It was as if Moses felt sorry for the women who had to endure being married to a man who hated them and treated them badly. So, this is one passage that shows that divorce was permitted (in the Old Testament) for a reason other than adultery.

If one could divorce a spouse because of an infidelity and then remarry, why couldn't one remarry for the reason of abuse and being married to a man with a hard heart. The adultery would seem worse, by far. But usually, people who were involved in an adulterous relationship were stoned to death.

Remember the woman they caught in the act of adultery. They brought her forward and asked Jesus what should be done to her. Where was the man she was involved with? Why didn't they bring him forward with her. Was she committing adultery by herself? But they brought the woman forward, alone, as if whatever a woman did was worse than what a man did.

Look at the Middle Ages, when women had to wear chastity belts. Did the men wear chastity belts to keep themselves chaste? Of course not. So, it seems that throughout the ages, it was okay for a man to sleep around and commit adultery and seed the earth, but not for a woman. All societies seem to be more strict on women than they are on men. A girl gets pregnant out of wedlock, and right away, society blames her. Like she got herself pregnant.

In the religion of Islam, women are circumcised. Every sexually sensitive area of their genitals are cut off or mutilated, and their vagina is sewn up to the size of a match stick. The purpose is to keep the woman chaste and to make sexual intercourse as painful as possible.

But they don't do anything to the men to keep them chaste. I've got suggestion. The believers in Islam should sew the male organ to the man's thigh or to that area directly below the naval. That will keep him chaste. You betcha! And then, right before he gets married, unfasten it so he can use it to get his wife pregnant, and when she is pregnant, sew it back up again.

Why should adultery be overlooked for men, but not for women. Adultery is wrong no matter who does it with whom.