Need an opinion, folks

[anitarose]

Hi...

I need an opinion. I just wrote an email to my roomies about their lack of ability to find gainful employment. Please read it over and tell me if you think what I wrote was justified or just plain mean spirited. I'm trying to convey the point that I'm tired---exhausted, you might say---and I need them to find jobs.

See what you think. The email follows.....

"Hi kids,

"I've been doing some very hard thinking here. I need to throw another "challenge" out to you, since that seems to be the way you are working here.

"This one is very difficult for me to ask of you. You both have been saying that you're concerned for me about all the hours I've been working and everything I'm doing. Well, here's your chance to prove to me how concerned you really are.

"I would like to see you both get jobs---jobs that you can hold down for more than 2 or 3 days---by my birthday, February 2. Not that you haven't been trying, but you have been extremely picky about the jobs you're trying to get. I want you to get ANY JOB---that includes minimum wage jobs---in this challenge. Something that is going to bring in money. Oh, and there's another part of this challenge---you have to keep the job for one month minimum. No quitting after a week or so.

"This is where it gets difficult for me. If you fail with this challenge---I am going to have to ask you to find another place to live. I'm sorry, but I can't deal with any more of this stress of you guys getting jobs and then quitting after 2 or 3 or even 4 days. I can't. I'm working 50 hours a week, and that's far too much for me. I can handle 40, but 50 is beyond my capability. I'm to the point where the Mental Health people are going to have to come get me soon.

"Believe me, this is not something I want to see happen. I want to see you both succeed. I really do. But this looking for jobs in the inbound/outbound sales industry ain't gonna work in this current economy, and I keep telling you that but you aren't listening. Perhaps some "tough love" is going to get you motivated. This is my form of tough love.

"Things are going to change around here, and it ain't me that's going to do the changing. I'm so exhausted I can't even think about cleaning my own house. I come home, take a bath, go lay down to read, and next thing I know, I wake up and it's time to go back to work. I have no time for myself any more. Plus, the bills are getting higher and I can't work any harder to get them paid. We can't keep using the electricity that we're using. Used to be my electric bills were $60 a month. Now they're 3 times that high. Also, the amount of time spent on the computer is way too much. I can only get on it before I go to work, and even then it's doubtful.

"If you are so so concerned about me, please, for my sanity and my sake, get a job and help me out here. You seem to thrive on meeting deadlines---please, for my sake, meet this one.

"Thanks, I love you both!

Anita"

Ok, so there's the email. Personally, I think I was a little too light on 'em. But I guess that's the way I am, I don't have a mean bone in my body...

a.

[kross]

If it were me, I would just tell them how much they have to pay for rent every month and hold them to it. Even getting a job for a month is not going to change things.

If you have to foot all the bills, then you should have alll the house.

[Guest]

I'll add that I've been through this sort of thing before.

I used to tell my roomies if they were not sharing in the rent and other bills it was time for them to leave. I was working full time and going to school full time and didn't have the time or the money for fooling around with anyone who wasn't pulling their own weight. Its your house: therefore you get to set the rules. If they don't have jobs by the deadline -- toss 'em. Too bad about the rough economy, etc. but your health and well being must come first. While I don't have all sides of the story, it sounds like this has been going on for some time -- too long, if you're that stressed and working that many hours to keep up. Sounds like there's a couple of folks in the house that need to grow up.

Take it from someone who has been there: The threat of being homeless focuses the mind wonderfully! So does being homeless, for that matter. Like Paul said: "if they won't work, neither should the eat" (or stay at your place, for that matter.)

[Guest]

Praying!

[Angelmiss49]

Do you have them on contract as to how much they will pay youe ach month? If they are on contract is is still ineffect? You must give somebody a 30 day notice prior to evicting them. That is a law .It would be wiset to watch a few episodes of Judge judy wherre there have been evictions to scertai your legal rights .

NAgelmiss

[Guest man]

I think you need to sit down and talk to these people.

I have a question.

Are these people related to you?

[Rick-Parker]

I think you need to sit down and talk to these people.

I have a question.

Are these people related to you?

I agree. If I got this email, I would be upset. It is always better to deal with people close to you face to face. Don't be surprised if they tell you they are going to move out. But then, hold them to it - either pay their way or find someplace else to live. And then give them paper notice (even e-mail will work and prove that you gave them 30 day notice.) I'm praying for your situation. Good luck and God bless.

[anitarose]

Do you have them on contract as to how much they will pay youe ach month? If they are on contract is is still ineffect? You must give somebody a 30 day notice prior to evicting them. That is a law .It would be wiset to watch a few episodes of Judge judy wherre there have been evictions to scertai your legal rights .

NAgelmiss

They are not on a contract. They are not on a lease. They are not related to me. They are simply two people, a married couple I tried to help and they are taking advantage of me.

a.

[Guest man]

Do you have them on contract as to how much they will pay youe ach month? If they are on contract is is still ineffect? You must give somebody a 30 day notice prior to evicting them. That is a law .It would be wiset to watch a few episodes of Judge judy wherre there have been evictions to scertai your legal rights .

NAgelmiss

They are not on a contract. They are not on a lease. They are not related to me. They are simply two people, a married couple I tried to help and they are taking advantage of me.

a.

Put together an ad that states you are looking for a roommate. Explain your financial situation to the roommates you now have, show them the ad, and tell them that you will be placing the ad in 30 days.

[anitarose]

I think you need to sit down and talk to these people.

I have a question.

Are these people related to you?

I agree. If I got this email, I would be upset. It is always better to deal with people close to you face to face. Don't be surprised if they tell you they are going to move out. But then, hold them to it - either pay their way or find someplace else to live. And then give them paper notice (even e-mail will work and prove that you gave them 30 day notice.) I'm praying for your situation. Good luck and God bless.

If you would look, I did give them (somewhat close to) 30 days notice. Today's date is the 11th. This has been going on since October, when they moved in and I thought---somewhat optimistically, I might add---they would have jobs and be back out in a month, on their own. Here it is JANUARY, they have taken advantage of 2 different church's benevolence funds (that I know of) and they still don't have jobs. And they are STILL trying to get employment in inbound/outbound sales positions, that right now aren't paying squat. They won't even consider any other jobs, and minimum wage jobs (that I might add are quite plentiful right now) they won't deign to consider because they are "better than that". Any money they get, they blow on themselves and don't bother paying me. In the months they have been with me, they have paid me full rent once and partial rent once. That's been it.

I should have kicked them out in December, but I'm too soft hearted and have been where they are before. I had an ex husband take advantage of me for 16 years, and I cannot put up with two more deadbeats who think they're getting a free ride. It just ain't happening. I'm too old and too tired for it.

I think I have been more than fair with them. My mental and emotional health is more than I can take right now with these two. They either get jobs or get out---it's that serious.

a.