I completely understand where you are. At the age of 30 all I had to show for myself was a failed marriage, a miscarriage, bankruptcy and I was unemployed. I didn't even have a strong Christian walk to fall back on as for most of my 20s I had stopped going to church, praying and reading my bible. But I had recently started all three and that is what I held on to. That I believe is all we can do during those times of deep painful depression. Pray, cry out to the Lord, and immerse yourself in the Word. Get involved in your church, it doesn't matter what, don't overwhelm yourself but find something, no matter how small, to get involved in. If you feel comfortable with your pastor talk to them, they should always have time for those in need and will know if there is someone they can connect you with that has been through the specific discouragement you are going through. If you feel comfortable I would love to know your name and any details you are willing to share so that I can bring you before our Father who loves you. If not I will still keep you in my prayers.