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Adara

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  1. Prayers for you and your wife! God bless you!
  2. I am sorry you have had to deal with this as well. What works with one person may not work with the next. I am glad this approach is working for you, however, it may not work for her. I believe she should seek God's will ultimately, but if it is destroying her then i feel like she should separate for a while. And this is my opinion as well, it's really between her and God. I apologize if i approached it in the wrong way, but as a survivor of abuse myself, i feel very strongly about this kind of topic.
  3. my heart goes out to you Esther. I've been in abusive situations before, so I can relate. I think the best thing for both of you would be to separate. Give you a chance to find some healing away from the chaos, and him a chance to think over his actions. I will pray for you. Seek the Lord and His strength <3 If you ever need a listening ear, I am here!
  4. to answer question 2, I would say probably out of fear. An abusive relationship is hugely based on silence and the fear of what will happen if you tell someone else. for question 3 -- that is a question so many people ask a victim of abuse. "why didn't you just leave him?" It really is not that easy. Usually, when you begin a relationship with the person you would never guess that they could be capable of such awful things. They are charming, caring, they are a wonderful person. Gradually they begin to abuse you..in little ways that you brush off or start believing it doesn't matter. They tell you that too and often make you doubt your perception of reality. It happens so gradually, that when it turns to full on abuse you begin to feel like you deserve it. Like it's somehow your fault. You are controlled and trapped. I can hope and pray that she will find the strength to at least separate from him.
  5. woah...that is some very harsh judgement and ignorance right there. If you have never been in an emotionally abusive relationship, you can't understand. But you can at least try. It's psychological torment and dealing with it every single day is VERY hard and it breaks you down. That sounds very good and spiritual until you are put into such a situation! Yes, dying to self is something a follower of Christ should practice, but it does not mean you have to let people walk all over you and abuse you. Nor does it mean that abuse will not cause you pain and agony even if you do die to self. You use your wife as an example that the problem is always you. Obviously your wife treats you well. if Esther was being hit, kicked, thrown around, etc., by her husband...would you still say it's her problem? Emotional abuse is just as bad as physical abuse, if not more so. It's an all out attack and abuse on your mind and soul. It is by no means selfish to hurt or express that hurt. If only you knew..
  6. A lot of churches I've been to like to pledge allegiance to the U.S. flag in church, or kids AWANA/prayer classes. I'm all for respecting the flag, but I have a problem with Christians pledging allegiance to it in church. I feel like this just isn't needed and we should yield our allegiance to Christ instead. What are your thoughts?
  7. Thank you, Ezra! I will remember that one. Very true, Robert. I guess I would like to be the one to point him back to God, but I would love it of God just used me a little to help bring him back. Anyway, thanks for the input!
  8. Thank you, Wilma. I do try to share what God has done in my life, but he then turns it into an intellectual thing or just decides to change the subject. At this point, I feel like I should just pray for him. He knows who I am. He knows what the Bible says, and he knows he is wrong. It just breaks my heart for him. I think you may very well be right that he was just an intellectual Christian, because before he was a Christian, he had tried out all different kinds of religion. After he went to atheism, he talked about how he had tried out a lot of different religions and they were all bad. I will continue to give my testimony to him when I speak with him, but for now, I guess I should just hold off. God Bless, Adara
  9. 1 Peter 3:15 “But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:” I have a friend who is an atheist; I met him when he was a Christian, or so claimed to be. He was very zealous..knew a lot about the Bible, and seemed to be strong in his faith. About a year ago, he started saying things that made me wonder about his views, and before long, he was emphatically stating that he is an atheist. Of course, I have been praying for him and I talk with him when I can. But he is very hostile to anything Christian (or, even any religion at all). I have had to mostly cut ties with him because he is so bitter about it, and he attacks my faith and writes these really long, intellectual comments about how flawed Christianity is; and why he is an atheist. I don't always have an answer for what he asks, or states..and I wonder: Do I have to always have an answer? Is there a point where you just stop trying and pray instead? He's very smart, and I'm nowhere near his level. So I find it difficult to not only answer in an articulate way, but to find an answer as well. What could I do better to witness to him? I hope this is in the correct forum.
  10. Isaiah 45:9-10 "Woe to the one who quarrels with his Maker-- An earthenware vessel among the vessels of earth! Will the clay say to the potter, 'What are you doing?' Or the thing you are making say, 'He has no hands'? "Woe to him who says to a father, 'What are you begetting?' Or to a woman, 'To what are you giving birth?'" Job 9:12 "Were He to snatch away, who could restrain Him? Who could say to Him, 'What are You doing?'"
  11. Psalm 135:6 "Whatever the LORD pleases, He does, In heaven and in earth, in the seas and in all deeps." Psalm 115:3 "But our God is in the heavens; He does whatever He pleases." Isaiah 46:10 "Declaring the end from the beginning, And from ancient times things which have not been done, Saying, 'My purpose will be established, And I will accomplish all My good pleasure';" Daniel 4:35 "All the inhabitants of the earth are accounted as nothing, But He does according to His will in the host of heaven And among the inhabitants of earth; And no one can ward off His hand Or say to Him, 'What have You done?'" Romans 9:19-21 "You will say to me then, "Why does He still find fault? For who resists His will?" On the contrary, who are you, O man, who answers back to God? The thing molded will not say to the molder, "Why did you make me like this," will it? Or does not the potter have a right over the clay, to make from the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for common use?"
  12. Yes! Exactly! I was sexually abused on and off throughout my childhood. Ultimately, that pain is what brought me to Jesus. @spiderman1917 I've read your posts on this thread quite a few times. At first, my initial response was emotionally based -- why would God want bad things to happen to His children? God is good. God is Just. It is not just for God to want bad things to happen to people who love him, or to innocent children. I am a Calvinist; I believe God wrote everything ahead of time. He wrote our beginning, He wrote what's going to happen throughout our life, and He wrote our end. He created people to do evil things that would accomplish His will. When Christians say that God would be unjust to want bad things to be done to His children, they do not realize that God's ways are higher than our ways, and His thoughts higher than our thoughts. We do not understand the mind of God. We can not. Everything He does is what He wants to be done. We ask God to do His will in our lives, but do we really mean it? Do we realize that God will have His way whether we want Him to or not? Acknowledging His will is acknowledging that whatever He chooses to do (or allows to be done) in our life is what His will is -- or, what He wants -- It is surrendering our will..our wants, our desires..and accepting His will -- His wants, His desires. will2/wil/ noun 1.the faculty by which a person decides on and initiates action. verb 1.intend, desire, or wish (something) to happen. If someone denies that God doesn't want evil to happen, they are denying God His will, and therefore not surrendering their wills to God. From a human perspective, it may seem unjust and evil of God to want evil in this world. But He is God. His knowledge is infinite. Our knowledge is nothing in comparison. What may seem unjust to us, is just to Him. He is the epitome of justice and knowledge and power. If He didn't want something to be done..He would not allow it to done. This does not make God evil, because God is not evil. By saying that God doesn't want something to be done, we are saying that God is therefore unable -- or powerless -- to stop what is being done. He is perfectly capable of stopping the evil in this world..but that is not His will. He always does what He wants, and in the end, it is for our good and His glory. We were not created for God; God doesn't need us. We were created to glorify Him. We know in the end, God will cut all the wicked off. He may allow evil to reign on earth, but this earth is not our home. We will abide in Him, in Heaven..never even worrying about what our life on earth was like. Never questioning why God allowed it to happen the way it did. Ultimately..God is God. He can do what He pleases. We do not have to understand why..we just have yo accept His will for our lives and allow Him to be God.
  13. Sorry..I have so much to say and I'm typing it all out on a cell phone, plus I forget some things. Mainly..forgiveness is not going to come easy. It won't just happen with one prayer asking God to help. It is a daily choice that has to be made. Will we choose to hate, or to love and pray for the person(s) who did us wrong? I would suggest for you to get into the word of God for yourself; seek God and His will for your life. Ask God to help you forgive the people who have hurt you, and ask God to help you heal. God bless you!
  14. My heart breaks for you, Spark. I can empathize with you very much! I have been abused, and some of it was also done under the protection of religion. Firstly, whoever abuses people under the protection of religion..they ARE NOT God's children. They are children of the devil. Also, I will say that Catholics have their doctrine all wrong, and the institute of Roman Catholicism is not a biblical one, nor is it a God-glorifying one. I'm sure that there are some true believers in the catholic church..but most of them are there, trying to be accepted into heaven for their works and not by faith and what Jesus did on the cross. Therefore, I am not surprised with the corruption in the catholic church and the ungodly things that are done in it. I was never a part of the catholic church. The abuse I went through was in a pastor's home, by his brother...and he never did anything about it, even though he knew. He proceeded to turn the church against me. It was a very self-righteous church. I have been hurt a lot..and I often feel the bitterness and hate trying to choke out the love that God has put into my heart. Forgiveness? How could I forgive the people who had done me so wrong? Why should I, when they hadn't even asked? Firstly, I realized that unforgiveness produces hate and bitterness. Which then chokes out the love you have inside. It turns you into a person who becomes hard and cold. I know. I've witnessed it. I've experienced it. So forgiveness helps you let go the hate and bitterness, and helps you feel better in the end. It sets YOU free from the chains of the devil. Secondly, as a child of God..forgiveness is obeying His will for your life. God is love. Jesus is love. His people, therefore, should reflect that love..and how can they if they have hate and bitterness in their heart? Thirdly..what do you think the devil wants to do? He wants to turn people away from Jesus. He can easily implant people into the church and use them to hurt another person and in turn, turn then away from the Lord. Jesus loves YOU. Jesus died for YOU. He will always be a faithful friend, and God, a faithful Father. Please don't let the actions of evil people bring you to hate God or run away from Him. Run to Jesus..He is LOVE. He will heal you and you will be FREE! If you ever want to talk..please feel free to message me! I'd be glad to talk with you!
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