Sanctum

Hello Scott Free, Thank you very much for your concern. Maybe you're right I should have been hospitalized, but by now the crisis is passing. Moments like this come all too often in my life and God has kept me through each one.

In the denomination of the church I used to attend it was an accepted teaching that all Christian youth should get married except in extraordinary situations. I heard it taught from the pulpit that single young men were selfish and consumed with a love for money and worldly pleasures, or else they would settle down and raise a family. In private conversation singles were gossiped about as if there was something wrong with them. As an older single girl, I often felt like the object of pity and embarrassment. Divorce was next to nonexistent in that church, but I can't think that kind of pressure toward marriage is healthy.

"Jesus is praying for you" - that hit me hard. I know you are right, and by pushing Him away I am separating myself from my only help. He's the only friend that we can count on 100% and He must be hurting that I'm blaming Him for this whole mess.

It's been almost a year since I left my church (the full story isn't important now, just that my trust and self-confidence was shattered by people I considered to be friends, mentors and Christian giants.) In my never-ending fight with mental illness, this year hasn't been a good one. On top of depression I've basically developed agoraphobia and a fear of making any sort of relationships. I haunt my house and can barely work up the courage to go out to the store, never mind attempt to go to a strange church. I signed up for a program at a Christian university but pulled out the week before classes started. The worst part is, it's not just my trust in people that's broken. It's my trust in God also. I struggle with resentment of Him for what happened as well as for the issues in my own brain. I've been suicidal a lot this year, not actually hurting myself but wishing more than anything to die. I've even prayed for it, and when I find myself still alive my resentment of God only grows. I haven't been on "speaking terms" with Him in quite a while. This has spiralled into something bigger and deeper than it ever should have been and I'm afraid of where it will end up, but I don't know how to change things. How does one rebuild trust that's been broken and learn to hope and connect again?

Because we're saved by faith and not works, we can do anything we like, let sin abound that grace may abound, refuse to warn sinners to repent? "Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin." In plain speech, if you support someone in their sin rather than calling them to repentance, you are sinning.

So women can commit adultery but men can't?

Matthew 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. I don't see much room for loopholes in this verse. If I had previously been married before becoming a Christian, then no, I would not feel free to marry again.

We are a new creature, but sadly, we will continue to reap the consequences of some choices we made before. Not that the sin is not forgiven - it is, but vows made cannot be unmade.

Fornication is a serious sin, but adultery is on a different level because it's a breach of a sacred trust. If you had been married to someone before your current marriage, even if it was before you were a Christian, yes, according to my understanding of the Bible, your current marriage would have been adulterous.

A gay marriage is really no different than an adulterous one, which is what it is when a divorced person remarries.

When the marriage itself is against God's commandments, attending the wedding ceremony is a type of tacit approval.

That's not the same as attending a sinful wedding. I was in the bridal party at my dad's third marriage, and I was convicted of it just as if I was aiding in his sin. I can't speak for others, perhaps, but the Spirit laid it on my heart that what I did was wrong.

Hi Aldo, This sounds like a tough situation. I know how it is to feel led by God in one direction but have the disapproval of my parents. Sadly prejudices run deep and can be hard to break, but nothing is impossible with God! Pray over the situation and consider how to approach your parents. If they are believers, studying the Bible, particularly the NT, and writing down what it says about races (Jews vs. Greeks) and prejudice, may be helpful. Sit down with them and talk over the situation, find out just what their concerns are and see if there is something you can do. It is NOT wrong to date a woman of a different race, but the Bible says to respect your parents. All the best!

I thought your reply was rude and totally unnecessary. The OP was asking for advice about his parents. There was a time when most young men lived at home until marriage, and I personally think it should stay that way. Also, just because someone lives at home doesn't mean they have no job. And I don't see anywhere that he says he is an invalid. Please exercise a little compassion and understanding?

Usually it's the one looking on, and seeing two red-faced people waving Bibles and questioning each other's salvation.