How to forgive unfaithfulness?

[arunangelo]

Our relationship with others must be based on love, because God who is love is the source of our life. True love is always unconditional. Therefore, when we love others, we do it irrespective of how they treat us and without expecting anything in return. God loved us first (1 John 4:11) by sacrificing His life for our sins although we rejected Him, were unfaithful to Him and killed Him. He told Hosea (Hosea 3:1), to return to his wife although she was an adulteress. God further told him to love her as the Lord loves the Israelites, though they were unfaithful to Him. As true followers of Christ we must be in His Spirit by being faithful to our covenant with our spouse, even when there is unfaithfulness and hurt; and bring healing to our spouse by our prayers, sacrifices and support. We must love our spouse just as Christ loves us (Eph 5:25).

Some people quote Matthew

[Smalcald]

Yes we are to forgive and this is very hard in the case of adultery. But it is possible and I think very much worth it.

But I do not think it will make much difference when the person committing adultery has no intention of stopping, in most cases people who are cheating in this way want out and there is really nothing the other party can do.

So for me, yes a one time affair or a slip up for whatever reason and I would forgive my spouse and move on the best I could. But if she was committed to leaving me for someone else, forgiveness on my part would still help me, but would not save the marriage.

[JCISGD]

Why should forgiveness for adultery be any different than any other sin? Its all just a choice to obey God, unless of course we feel we have a right to wallow in unforgiveness untill we feel like it.

We are to forgive atleast 490 times per person ( im being facetious)

This is a seperate subject to wether we should seperate/divorce for safety or sanity.

I know of wayward spouses who have returned after 10 or 20 yrs, their christian spouses waited faithfully, praying and believing for full reconcilliation. Its a hard road, but whats the price of a soul? "For how do you know, O wife whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know O husband whether you will save your wife? "

Im not condemning anyone who did according to their faith, If they have peace about their choice then so be it.

[Smalcald]

Yes it is spiritually like any other sin.

However there is no doubt that it IS harder emotionally to forgive someone who has betrayed you so deeply. I mean there is a big difference between forgiving your husband or wife who lied to you about how much money they spent at the mall, and someone who lied to you about sharing the most intimate thing two human beings can do together with some other man or women.

From a sin perspective they are both sin, but from an emotional perspective they are indeed different. This is why adultery and all sexual sin is called out as unique in the bible.

[Guest LadyC]

We are to forgive atleast 490 times per person ( im being facetious)

good thing you were being facetious, or i'd have to point out that wives have forgiven their husbands at least 490 times by the end of the first week of marriage!

[Guest LadyC]

From a sin perspective they are both sin, but from an emotional perspective they are indeed different. This is why adultery and all sexual sin is called out as unique in the bible.

exactly.

[Sir Gareth]

Forgiveness is not always the same as forgetting.

If you were molested as a young child you could forgive the moletsr, but you wouldn't invite them to your child's birthday party would you?

In the same way you can forgive adultery and still get divorced.